Monday Update

16 years ago

Good morning!

We had a great weekend! My family was here. The girls had a blast. We are still stumbling with what the girls call everyone. They call my mom and dad gramdma and pa which is what my sisters kids call them so I think the girls picked up on that. The girls have been raised around my family and for the most part between my parents, my sister and her family and us we have all raised them even before Megan gave them up we had them all the time.

My dad and their dad built a swing set and built a tree house for the girls. It's kind of a thing my dad does for the grand kids. Then Tanna spend the night in the tree house with her cousins. Trace stayed out their for a little bit then she started running hot laps around it I knew there was no way she was going to settle down enough to stay out there with them. My sisters kids are 15 and 13 so I knew Tanna would be just fine.

My dad taught the girls how to spit watermelon seeds...you gotta love grandpas!

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Comments (10)

Mystical Manns
16 years ago
What fun! Every child needs to know how to spit watermelon seeds! I envy you, having a tree that is suitable for a treehouse. I spent many hours in the cherry tree when I was young, but no one to build a house in it for me.

When does school start where you are? I think you've already posted that, but I just don't rememmber. It starts the 16th here, I believe ... bet Tanna will be on Cloud 9 to go.
jannie
16 years ago
Thanks for posting-I love hearing about your new family. Thsat tree house sounds like fun- especially with cousins to keep Tanna company. Glad it's going so well.
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What would be gained by deleting old posts? Diane's cousin and her mother KNOW where the girls are. They know the girls' names and ages. I can see being less specific in future posts -- not posting where you are going on vaction, the girls' special friends names, news of school field trips, etc. Perhaps if they knew HOW the girls are, how well they are doing, some of this possessive 'attitude' would cease -- if they can see how this benefits the GIRLS. I am impressed with Toni's post on holding out the possibility of some future contact for Megan. It could accomplish several good things -- one being to get Megan off your back until/unless she shapes up -- setting 'the rules' in stone. IF she can put the girls' welfare first, and if the girls WANT IT, she could have *supervised* contact with them from time to time. It's hardly surprising that Megan showed up at your door. You handled it, but YOU WERE NOT PREPARED for it. I don't know if the girls would benefit from counseling. I have thought all along that you could save yourself and the girls grief by seeking some help in advance of crisis. Given the lives they've led, it would be foolish to think that the girls will somehow mend on just biscuits and love. (Goes a long way, but really...) No law will change the fact that these are Megan's children. She's not mothering them. You are. They may need to know they will have the choice of seeing her one day. Maybe they just want to know her whereabouts, to be CLEAR about her role in their lives and your role. You can't 'erase' her -- that makes her a scary ghost. You don't want paranoid kids and you don't want to live behind barbed wire with a snarling guard dog. It's not easy. You knew that. Other people have experience with how to make it less hard on you and on the children -- and, yes, on Megan. There are some win/win possibilities. I am NOT saying you should ignore all danger of 'snatching'. I AM saying there are ways to defuse the situation. See what family counseling is available. Try it. You can always decide to accept or reject what you learn. There may even be a support group of parents in similar situations. (I like self-help groups!)
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dotmom
16 years ago
As usual, your updates make me smile and the lump in my throat is getting smaller, but the smile is getting wider. Thanks Firemans wife for sharing with us. This is truly a beautiful story.
donnadee54
16 years ago
Thanks for the update! I had been thinking about you all weekend and hoped (and prayed) that things were going well. The swing set and the tree house sound wonderful. And having cousins to share it with are building lifetime memories. Thanks again for sharing with us. We look forward to your news.
User
16 years ago
Sounds like the kids are doing very well. I am so glad for them and you.
ronm80
16 years ago
So glad to see you posted an update. I really enjoy hearing about your new family. Sound like you'll had a wonderful weekend. Wow, a tree house, how fun is that!
firemanswife
Original Author
16 years ago
Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement and keep up with our now crazy life!

For the most part things are going great. The girls seem to really be adjusting. Our biggest problem right now is their bio mom and grandmother. The adoption papers should be finalized by August 10. We are their legal guardians and they have our name. Our final step is the adoption paper work. I really don't think Megan would be an issue since she didn't want them if her mom would knock it off. She didn't want them either and didn't want the state to get them but now that we have them she's being a monster. She's trying to go after her grandparents rights....in our state there is no such things so our lawyer contacted her and told her stop. I really don't want to end up in court over this but it is what it is and the girls come first.
They really don't even know her. She was never an active part of their lives. I think her issue is now that my parents are around them and my DH and I have taken full custody she's having a hard time swallowing this. She wanted us to let the girls stay 2 weeks at her house before school started. I almost had a nervous breakdown when Tanna wanted to go swimming an hour away...she's on the other side of the state...not happening.
I told her she is more than welcome to come visit us and wont'...so it's her issue.
kayjones
16 years ago
Thanks for keeping us in the loop - we are all praying for you and your family.

As for letting the kiddos out of your sight at this time, I wouldn't allow it either - you don't want to have to appear on Nancy Grace, pleading for the safe return of your children!
jannie
16 years ago
Sorry about the Grandmother behaving so badly. Make sre when they enroll in school that school officials are aware of the situation and only you or your husband can pick them up from school. I've heard of situations where kids were snatched out of school by relatives, not authorized by the parents.
glenda_al
16 years ago
bestest of thoughts for you and the kids

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