Hi Cinful...I know exactly what you mean...when the doctors told her 3-6 months left, I thought I would never stop crying, and I didn't want our last moments together to be miserable. I know we said everything we wanted and needed to say to each other, but in the end, I still worry that there may have been something else left unsaid, something I forgot to ask her, or something from the past that we just wanted to remember. We only got about 2 months together at the end, and even when it finally happened it seemed like it just couldn't be happening already. I am sorry that you are alone, I do have children and a husband, but we all lived together, and they really do not understand what I am going through. I feel like I am alone, except that I can't just break down all the time, I have to be strong...it feels like it is killing me to do that though. I really just want to crawl into bed and stay there. The one thing that keeps me going is that my mom asked me to. She told me to be strong for HER, and to be happy for HER. I am not happy, but I am being as strong as I can be. That means not thinking of her too often, or all I would do is cry. But I know she knows that. She bought me a journal at the end, and I didn't think it would help, but it has. I write to her as much as I can, everyday in the beginning, and I tell her the things I would have told her if she were here. It does help. My mom was my everything too...even though I have other family, and children, she was it. Every moment of the day we were together...have been for 42 years. She has sent me signs since she's been gone, I know a lot of people don't believe in that, and think it is wishful thinking, but it's not. Keep an open mind after everything is over, don't shut yourself down. Stay with your mom till the end, try not to feel guilty...I know that even though my mom and I talked about everything, I still felt guilty when she passed, like maybe there was more I could have done. I am trying to get past that. I feel so bad for you, and your dad...maybe try to be strong for him, as I have to for my baby...it helps to be there for someone else, when all you want to do is go with your mom. I know at least for me that is true. When she first got sick, I thought I would go with her in the end, but I cannot go right now. My family needs me, my baby needs me. I think that is why he happened so late in my life...he was my lifeline from God...Take care, please let me know how you are doing, and I will do the same.

I'm in my mid-40's and only married 3 years. I met DH when I was 40. I like to tell him that if I had to wait this long for him, he was worth it! 1.We match up very well personality wise (though he is introverted and I am extroverted--like islandgal said we balance each other out). 2. We have similar modest family backgrounds, and we both put ourselves through graduate/professional school, so when we met it was almost like we'd known each other. 3. We have similar interests in music and love to go to live music events together. 4. LOL, he was right when he said white for the paneling in the kitchen without realizing there are literally 100 shades of white. He also insisted on granite slab for the countertops. 5. He's not handy, but he at least knows that. We are happy to call professionals for things beyond our capabilities, which is pretty much anything beyond painting. He never had pets and took on me with three cats after we got married. He was at my side when we had to put one down a couple of weeks ago due to kidney failure. He truly loves me for who I am. He likes a woman with curves. Enough said.

"I think I am determined to prove everyone wrong - I must be mad (or stupidly in love)" Yes, you are stupidly in love. You are accepting incredible stories, you are involved in stalking & harrassment, you are relating the horrible way he treats his children, & it has no effect on you. It doesn't touch your euphoria at all. You're on a high, just as though you were on drugs. Reality doesn't seem real. But euphoria wears off, & then you'll feel humiliated & ashamed of yourself. Men who do this kind of thing know very well what they're doing; they're taking advantage of the vulnerability of women to certain "triggers" or signals. Men who "sweep you off your feet", "bombard" you with flowers & love notes, say that you're their soulmate, etc *know very well* that these behaviors trigger the release of endorphins, the feel-good/euphoria-producing hormones. They know that, as long as they keep that stuff going on, they can do anything they want, they can tell unbelievable lies, they can engage in flagrant misbehavior, & their target will believe them, will stay with them, will remain "stupidly in love" with them. They have absolute power over their targets. They don't want a "soulmate". They want a victim to abase & to con. One of the most potent things that they use is physical proximity. Females who remain in close physical proximity with a male *always* eventually bond with him. How many times have you heard a dazed, bewildered wife going through a divorce say something like, "I didn't like him when I first met him, but he kept pursuing me, & I finally thought I loved him. Now I think I must have been out of my mind"? That's exactly what happens. Once the euphoria wears off (& it will, just like any other drug), the woman crashes. & the man doesn't care. The game's over, he's "won", he's made a fool of her, & he's off to the next one. You lost. Your problem. Just like it's his ex-wife's problem right now. Try an experiment: Sever all connections for 14 days, that's 2 weeks. Don't see him, speak to him, email him. Don't accept presents, don't read letters or emails from him. Pretend he never came into your life. Then re-read the things you've written on this thread. I wish you the best.

I do not think it will start a war...just maybe dirty looks and cold shoulders. The funny thing is that the kids go to private school and the family walks past our house every Sunday to attend church services. You would think they are decent people.....but I feel like that is all a mask for the demons they are raising! On the 4th our town had fireworks at the park we usually go to. We walked since it is only a few blocks. On the way home they were in front of us walking. The bigger troublemaker of the two boys stopped to tie his shoe (I think so we would catch up). Well we passed the boys and their father (their mom did not go to fireworks-she does not work or anything?). When we got up to the street to cross there was lots of cars leaving the fireworks. They all rushed out in front of cars and crossed so we ended up behind them again. Well when we passed their house (it was almost 10pm) the dad had gone inside and left the two boys outside hanging out in the driveway! It was like he was asking for trouble.