That is good news! I am glad you have another day. Don't waste it!

My good news is that you are here, sharing. When people bottle stuff up it can destroy them. When they share and feel that others are listening, it's still hard but at least one knows that others are sending good thoughts and prayers the way we are to you.

I don't know why some are burdened so heavily, as you seem to be. I hope things get better.

I'm sorry.

My good news is that a friend whose leased house went into foreclosure & was bought by a slumlord has found a new place...& it's much closer to me!

Yay!

This is not exactly 'good news' but maybe it's helpful.

Last January 1, I decided on these everyday resolutions

haven't kept them perfectly, but perfection is not the goal, & doing these things, as I can, when I can, has helped me:

Be happy.
Be grateful.
Have fun.
Help somebody.
Get rid of something.

I think being happy has to precede helping somebody, like the signs in the airplane compartments that tell you to engage your own oxygen mask before you try to help someone else.

"Studies show" that gratitude makes people happier & healthier.

Even if it's a small thing, I pause to be grateful.

As Betsy says, I do have this day.

Having fun makes your brain work better, & our brains are where we live.
Take care of it by giving it something to do.
Like Border Collies, we need to be mentally engaged to be happiest...& to stay out of trouble!

Again, "studies show" that that old adage is true:
It really is more blessed to give than to receive.
makes our endorphins bubble up & give us a little reward, & engages us in the greater life.

Mother Teresa was one of the happiest people I ever heard of.
She famously said something like God had blessed her by letting her help people.

Even if it's a little thing (where did we get the notion that we have to solve everybody's list of problems in order to be 'helpful'?), like sharing a passalong plant or holding the supermarket door or giving your newspaper to someone.

I don't know that getting rid of something would make everybody feel better, but it sure helps me.
It seems like I/we get bogged down so much by our 'stuff' that we're tied to it by a very short chain.
Life on a chain isn't good for anybody.

Give yourself some joy & fulfillment today;
I bet the days to come will be brighter.

Actually, I do feel better already. I am just ready to burst with helping, and that's the last thing I get to do. These things take time, and these situations, I can't. They'll get through them. I keep telling my son, "I'm gonna be a hermit! I don't like hurting with my friends. I'm never having friends any more!!!". He thinks I'm silly and knows I'd never do it ; ) I took my friend with the, any moment he'll be gone husband, food on Sunday. I cried all the way through the store. I know she really appreciate the help (she said so), but doing that didn't make him any better. That's what I'd really like to do.

sylvia, that is good news! I hope you two are painting the town red. I need friends who live close by. The ones you can drop in on or they drop in on you, neither one having to call first. 'cause the that's the kind of friendship it is. I love that kind of friend. Too much of my life is planned, and I love the special surprise when Lin calls me and says, you want to come have a glass of wine, or drops by with the bottle in her hand, me making whatever is on hand. Those friends are special.

Rob, are you the oldest daughter in your family?

You sure sound like one of "us"!

Everything is our responsibility, we have to make sure everybody is fed & taken care of, & we think that if they are sick or broke or crazy, it's our, maybe not fault, but our responsibility to fix it.

Nobody can do it all.

Maybe it's wise & maybe it gives peace to do what we can & accept that we aren't all-powerful wonder-women & that people do die, they do get beat up, & that what we *can* do is take over the pot of soup or the aspercream, maybe sit with the ill person while the caretaker goes to the library or the grocery store.

It sounds like you're an admirable friend & sister, & I bet you're giving yourself a much harder time than your friends & relatives would.

I bet their lives are better because they know you're there.

~I had a very emotionally tough April-May and wanted to hide. I finally thought, I have to talk this out so phoned one of my sisters (I have 3) and she listened to me for half an hour. I just needed to talk it out and realize that there was nothing I could do about any of it. I can't take away peoples hurt (the son of one friend committed suicide), I can't help my kids through tough times except as a sounding board, etc.

My good news - mmmm. At 61 I'm grateful every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday that I still have great health and great friends that I run with 3 days a week. Today we ran as we do every time deep into the forest along the river and just recharge.

I really don't have any close friends where I live now, but that is OK, because I am doing a lot of sorting, cleaning out and working on hobbies I have let go for too many years. With DH gone now, it has been one year, I can and do many things I could not before. My marriage was ok, with many ups/downs and now I seem to have more ups--I just sorted out 3 boxes of craft stuff and am looking to work on scrapbooks, with pictures etc. Something I have put off way too long. Memories are good especially the good ones and I have many of those. Do you have hobbies you could work on? Since my brother is an alcoholic I prefer no drinking. But that is my choice. I am lucky that I can be by myself and not feel bad. Yes, over the years ( I am 81) I have lost many friends by being too demanding and now I accept people for who they are and I am trying real hard not to change them. I play cards with a few, and really enjoy the assisted living where I choose to live now. Some of my kids are close, but the other two are over 1500 miles away, but we communicate by phone and yes I am learning how to text.
Be positive, look for something YOU enjoy by yourself, and do it for YOU.
Take care and have a great day/week/month
Marie

Rob, you need to become a 'compassionate observer'. I am/was the 'fixer/responsible' one in my family growing up. I took that into my adult world. It is exhausting and overwhelming to watch people make the same stupid mistakes over and over and to you it seems so easy not to do it. And so sad to see friends and loved ones go through medical sadness.

I think you are an 'Empath' a person with very deep compassion for others, people sense this in you and are drawn to you for help. I bet at times you start feeling worse for these folks than they do for themselves. Google 'empath', you can take short test and see if you are.

I am one, I have always know I have so much deeper feelings for people than they do for themselves at time, my compassion was very deep and made me feel sad like you are right now. You are an 'out of control healer'. You can goggle all of this, I am not making it up.

So I have learned to be a 'compassionate observer'. I can not fix people or their lives, I just have to stand back and give out good vibes~I try not to get involved in their situations much anymore~~it is just too stressful for me. Help if you can, as long as you really think you are helping.

Breathe in Peace Breathe out Love

The 'good news' in my post is you are a wonderful, beautiful person~~ Namaste

sylvia, nope! Not even close. I am next to the youngest of six, and the middle daughter. But we are closeknit. Growing up military, we only had each other. That's probably it.

bflenton, I have made plans to recharge tomorrow. It's sad when it's once in weeks and I have to wait! Pool, me, mom, and son. We used to go at least once a week, and now, it's just too busy to do it. Four hours of water, watching the sunset, I can't wait!!! You're so lucky to have running friends and a place to run. Totally cool!

Marie, it sounds like you're starting a new beginning. I'm glad you have the Kitchen Table to turn to if/when you need them, and that you're choosing what you want to do. Keep on cleaning up/out and you'll soon find "yourself". The uniquely you part of who you are. I did that too three years ago. More than a decade of marriage. Some ups/downs and a lot of physical stuff collected. It was good to get a clean slate literally and figuratively. Sounds like you're on the right path.

My power wheel chair carrier is being delivered today. It goes on the back of the vehicle and has a ramp so that it is easy to load. I'll get to take my chair places and be more mobile.

Pooh Bear

Here is a link that might be useful: Receiver hitch cargo hauler with ramp.

Wow yoga! You are empathic. Here are the results, in all their gory glory, good and bad:

"Your Super Serious Title is: The Planetary Healer Empath

Your Total Score: 65 out of 80
Your Out of Control Healer Score: 8 out of 10
Your Protection Tools Score: 20 out of 25
How Much You Mirror Others Unconsciously Score: 10 out of 15
Your Appreciation for Nature Score: 10 out of 10

You scored extremely high on the overall results. You are definitely an empath.

You are pretty intuitive and can usually tell when people are lying. You may want to look into getting energy work and healing done on your second chakra. Usually people that need to be around water all the time have blocks in their second chakras. You love nature and unconsciously understand its healing effects -- which is a general, but strong indicator that you are an empath. You have a deep love and appreciation for nature. You recognize the sacred expression of all beings. You are truly wise. But you seem fairly normal -- able to influence people at times.

You need to learn how to recognize and differentiate other people's energy from yours. Learning psychic/empathic meditation tools will help. You scored toward the middle of the "Mirroring Others Unconsciously" portion of the quiz. This means that for the most part you are your own person, but you might benefit from learning some energy protection tools.

You scored pretty low on the "Has Protection Tools" section of the quiz. This means that you need to learn how to protect your aura. You also might benefit from cord-removal and other energy work. Wow, sounds like you need to slow down and give to yourself before you heal the world! You would benefit from an energy healing yourself!"

Poohbear!!!! That is the best news I have heard in forever. I am so happy for you, I can't believe it. That is good news. I needed that. Woohoo!

I have been trying harder to count my blessings lately and focus more on what is good rather than what is eating me up at the moment. It's not easy. I really tend to hyperfocus on bad stuff, think about it day and night and let it drive me crazy.

So, my something good is a simple one. I just got off the phone with my son. He and his girlfriend invited me to go along to a movie. They like me! We are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy in 3-D. LOL. These are truly life's blessings.

My super serious title is "The Unicorn Goddess Empath" Gosh, I love that title - it conjures up all sorts of mystical, magical stuff and the picture that comes with it is sooo pretty.

deleted the link as it didn't work

This post was edited by blfenton on Tue, Aug 12, 14 at 13:36

Rob, what site did you go on?? I have never seen such detail before. I got most of my info about myself from my Ayurvedic Practioner, when she did a Jyotish Vedic reading on me. It was the most amazing thing~~she did not know me at all and did this reading that was ME! She explained why I do what I do, and why I have such deep feeling for people and their situations. She has also helped guide me so I am not so emotional about things anymore~~well kinda/sorta.

Congratulations, poohbear!

I love mobility tools.

Of course they like you dedtired! :) Have fun!

yoga, it's linked below. What's funny to me? Every time I read a question, I was like, well, yea, doesn't everybody feel that way? Maybe not? Oh. If not everyone does this is new information to me.

Here is a link that might be useful: empathtest

~The one that rob333 did is also the one that I did. I was trying to link to the picture of the Unicorn Goddess but it wouldn't allow me to link to it But it mentioned my needing to recharge myself in nature which I do frequently.

rob - interesting that it mentioned you would benefit from some energy healing as well.

We had one of those Norman Rockwell days today. DD and DSIL took their 7 and 4 year olds to school for the first day at their neighborhood school. The 7 year old is in 2nd grade and has a great teacher this year and a few good friends in this class. However, this is the first year for the 4 year old being in a preK at the same school. He did preschool last year. They were concerned about the little one, so Mom took him into the classroom, and he did fine. Was told to pick a chair and park his back pack there. Then told to pick a square on the rug to sit for the opening of the day. He had been reluctant at home, but he went right along. When DD left the room, she got his attention, waved goodbye and left, promptly. They will play on the playground for a little bit after school with another friend's two kids the same age and in the same classrooms. Then time for a treat and home to tell Daddy about the first day of the 2014-15 school year.

The preK grandson had a little trouble last year with talking during story time, etc. He came home one day and told his mother, "If I can't talk, I'll get sick!" He already gave his mom the same warning this week as we were talking about the new school year. He is a cutie, and a real pistol.

Yea, I think that whole by the pool thing is gonna be the trick. Energy recharge, here I come!

Sheila, kids are so funny, aren't they? They can cheer me up on the darkest of days. Is mom having a harder day than the one who will have a hard time "not" talking? Cute!

"If I can't talk, I'll get sick!" Ah-hah, a clone of my DH! (And maybe this lad's grandpa -- if I'm remembering correctly about a journalism degree?)

rob333 -- Your OP reminds me how many sick puppies there are who are wasting their precious lives, and happy to drip some 'ick' on you, if you let 'em. (Not addressing those with physical illnesses, of course.) NOT YOUR PROBLEMS. And you KNOW that. Be a counter-force. Live your life.

I don't know if it's good news or not but I'm a "Rainbow Goddess Empath"! I remember years ago having a bout like you're having right now. Some of the people were not even acquaintances, maybe neighbors of a friend, but it was so much devastating news, it made me very sad. I'm dealing better with things now and it's a good thing. Because of my age, the sad news is no longer friends of friends, but good friends. I've accepted the fact that this is part of life. Good news? let me seeâ¦..I played golf today and we were due thunderstorms around noon time. that would put me way out on the course where I hate to be in a storm. It never happened. Still haven't had the storm although it's coming.

Sometimes this little saying helps:

Not my circus,
not my monkeys.

WOW!! Rob, I have taken many empath test but have never one that broke it down like that~~

My Super serious title is~~The Moon Goddess Empath~~

My total score was 69 out of 80

My out of control healer is 10 out of 10~~I am not surprised there. I struggle daily with that.

My protection tools are 22 out of 25

The last 2 were the same as you
Says I need more protection tools, I need more energy and light work for protection.

It is so true about the protecton tools, I have worked for 2 1/2 years with a Life Coach to learn how to put up boundries around certain people in my life that suck the energy from me and have stressed me out, so much it has made me ill. The saddest part is one of the people is my own mother;(

I have through many guided meditations, learned to stand tall. Take a breath and protect myself from the Emotional Vampires in my life~~

Yep, been there done that. The person in my life I had to set the boundaries... husband. And now, he's ex. It was hilarious to me, not to him, to watch his power over me crumble. He would create chaos, then ask me to fix it, and finally, in the end, I'd say not my circus, not my monkeys (good way to put that!), and he'd be so frustrated, angry, disappointed that I wouldn't play along. I still wonder why he creates his own problems, but now, I just sit back and shake my head. So glad I only have to talk to him once a week or so. Oh, I care about him, just like I'm sure you do your mom, but draining is no fun!!!! and so I care from a distance.

You asked a simple question. No need to analyze you, or me for the reasons.My recent cancer reports are stabilizing in a "good" zone, so that is interesting, although there is no cure. Some things we can't change, and my philosophy is why worry about them. Find ways to adapt life in multitudes of more exciting adventures Good luck on the "no thinking" pool party, and do it more often, even if by yourself. My summer escape is a daily beach trip, and get grouchy when the weather prohibits such enjoyment. Your garden is full of roses, and if normal, some of them stink.

Oldfixer - "Your garden is full of roses, and if normal, some of them stink." LOL

sylviatexas - "Not my circus, not my monkeys" I like that and will apply to my sisters.

Lots of simple words of wisdom in this thread.

rob333 - as we're nearing the end of the day - How are you doing now?

Much more relaxed! I went home and washed, waxed, and then drove my Miata with cool breezes. Listened to Etta James too. Ah!

Etta James, hmm she lived just about a mile from us~I never saw her, but she was part of our community. Maybe I saw her at the grocery store and just never knew it;)

Maybe a pic will help, this is my fur grand baby Maya, while I was watching her yesterday she wanted to go out to potty so I took her out, she was doing her thing when a butterfly flew past, she stopped mid stream to watch the butterfly until it went over the fence. Such a sweet and innocent little soul she has. We had to make another potty trip outside about 10 min later for her to finish. She's 13 weeks old today and growing like a weed but has the sweetest disposition and makes me smile to be around her.

That surely helps! What an adorable puppy face. Look at those gangly legs. So cute!

omg what a timely post...received this angry phone call this am from fil's caregiver who was rude, contradictory (last week I quit, today I'm the only one who cares) and po'ed as we don't trust her...I got 2 words in the conversation...hello and goodbye...

didn't bother with answering her back...I'm glad she got me rather than dh at work as he would have gone off on her big time and don't need that...he's under enough stress with his dad...

so got dressed and ran a few errands...ins agent didn't need more $ to complete change made...bank guy has me down to one more payment for mortgage, and pharmacy had my newest drug in! anyone ever have calcium in nasel form? everyone was helpful sweet and boy do I feel good about the house payment!!

you just made me giggle with glee-"so got dressed and ran a few errands...ins agent didn't need more $ to complete change made...bank guy has me down to one more payment for mortgage, and pharmacy had my newest drug in! anyone ever have calcium in nasel form? everyone was helpful sweet and boy do I feel good about the house payment!!"

That is tremendous news. I bet last house payment could just about offset any bad news. Exciting!

Rob, I'm sorry for all of your troubles. I don't think I have anything to counter act all of that. I wanted to thank you for recommending Jakob the Liar movie. As for myself...I can't think of anything bad in my life right now....everything is pretty much okay. I don't have very much family, so haven't had any family problems in years. My husband's truck broke down so I gave him mine and I have been home "alone" for a couple of months now, and just loving the peace and quiet and time to be by myself with the good excuse not to have to go anywhere.

But this thread did counteract my sadness :) I posit, that I am an empath, as yoga suggested. And that other people's moods can affect me. Poohbear's message sent me to the moon. I love that there is something good for them to report. The other stuff has been really enjoyable too. You're welcome! Jakob is one of my favorites. Don't you just love the calm, peace, and quiet? I've been there too.

I actually went from one industry I'd worked in for 20 years and in the end, there were three of us, and went to another, the largest employer in the state of Tennessee. Why? For three reasons, but one of them was, because there were people. Loads of people! I am one of those that energizes by being around people, but then it gets to be an overload on my system. So I withdraw and energize by calm, peace, and quiet. Which cycles back to needing people! again. And I do mean people! I don't like crowds, but I do love a variety of people and discussions. Like being here on this forum.

Here's mine: I have been in agony with gout foot pain. I mean agony. My doctor put me on Allopurinol, and on this, the third day, I have no pain or burning whatsoever ! I'm jumping for joy ! Pun intended ! Thank You, Lord !

That is one gorgeous dog!
I love Labs:
You can see the intelligence & heart in those eyes.

My 'get rid of something' resolution got a work-out today:

I filled 4 trash bags with stuff that was of no use to *anybody* (how does that stuff accumulate? I've been living with 4 bags full of stuff that is not useful!)

sold, for $5 each. an old microwave cart & a bench with a heart motif, both needing a re-do which I knew I never would get done.

found homes for several red oak seedlings that came up in a flower bed that I had mulched last autumn with someone else's bags of...red oak leaves.

set out at the curb for someone to pick up:
a coffee carafe & the bottom half of a trash can (I had used it as a flower pot for a tree at one time, don't wanna do that again).

sold some candy molds to a baker...
& got her card to pass along to friends.

took a bunch of plastic bags to the re-cycle bin at the grocery store

& put a bunch of paper from old notebooks in the recycle bin to be picked up by the city.

Whew!

Hi Rob,

Not much to add ... and hope that you're back at least part way out of your blue funk.

Brother, retired farmer who lives 1600 miles way, has one son, only child, in a city 100 miles from here, a couple of small grand-daughters from son's second marriage, and comes to visit them a couple of times a year.

He'd called to say he was to be in the neighbourhood, and we got together on Friday, I called son and he and his partner were there for lunch, as was brother and wife ... and a couple of favourite cousins were, as well. Brother spent a few years when he was very young with the family of our Mom's brother and their two children when she was ill, so he considers one as almost a sister: the son, a local farmer, died several years ago. The other cousin lives locally and I see her at church fairly often - she, who had voice training, has sung in the choir for 75 years.

The brother and I went to deal with some complications over inheritance of cemetery plots that Dad owned ... and it looks as though resolution is to be easier than we figured. Then we sat and had a chat ... and he's rather worried about future viability of his son's marriage.

We don't see one another often, but we've been close, over the years. Our brother died over forty years ago, when his kids were in their teens, and our ready-made sister that came with our stepmom lives near brother in Saskatchewan.

It's a red letter day when we get together.

ole joyful

My good news is rather minor, but it made me happy! I harvested our first, fully ripened Cherokee Purple tomato today. I also harvested at least a gallon or little Sweet Olive tomatoes!

Yeah! It's tomato time in North Dakota. I'm not canning this year, since everything is in such a dusty, saw dust covered state, but I will be freezing tomatoes for winter stews, soups, and chili.

I've already frozen 12 quarts of kale.

It doesn't take much anymore- my mother had a couple of lucid moments yesterday and when she spoke to me and looked me in the eye, it felt so normal. It lasted about 2 minutes. Felt like a lottery win for a while.

Here's my good news from me:

I just drove a 26' moving truck - pulling a car towing trailer behind it - from Florida to Kansas City - no problems to amount to anything - arrived safely. I am a 64-yr. old female - will now add 'big rig' operator to my resume!