Empty Nest Now

17 years ago

DS, my youngest, is moving out today. He and his dad have gone to move the last of the stuff, and then I'm going to meet them there while his dad helps him with odds and ends. It felt final the other day when he moved his drums out..

Anyway, he is moving to a house that he bought when he was 21 (he's 24 now), which he's been renting out until now. We've been helping him a lot in the last few months cleaning and renovating it. It's looking pretty nice, and it's time for him to move, but I have to admit that I do feel sad too. He's the last one at home, and he's such a live wire, that this place is going to be awfully quiet without him.

I've been sad about it all week, but I know it'll pass. I just have to keep busy.

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Comments (11)

kacram
17 years ago
((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))
Toni S
17 years ago
I'm sure your right about keeping busy. How about a list of all the things you've been wanting to do and things that need to be done?

I can only imagine the new turn in life. We moved our first born out yesterday but still have two left. I told my dh it's going to be the biggest change when the last one leaves. I hope the kids don't all end up living to far away. My MIL lives with in a few miles of all three of her kids now but they lived farther away in the early years. We never know what's in store for the future.

Hopefully its sunny outside that seems to help cheer up the days. ((Susan))
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First of all, she's going to college, not moving away. She'll probably be coming home for visits--holidays, summers, etc. Secondly--it's quite common these days--for children to 'boomerang'. The first 'leaving', from my experience, rarely takes. Most seem to pop back home for a shorter or longer time at some point. All my dd's friends have been back to live home for a while. Especially when they're starting their entry-level jobs, they need an economical place to stay--where better than Mom's Famous Boarding House, right? Second--as a teacher, you know that the whole point of teaching or raising a child is to give them the knowledge, confidence, self-sufficiency to get by on their own. So Kudos for doing your job well! My dd is 26--just this weekend she moved out for good. Oh, she went away to school for a semester, then returned home to finish her education and get her career started. Now, she's finally in a position to buy her own home. In all honesty, it was a lot tougher seeing her leave this weekend (to move 8 miles away), than it was when she was 18 and going about 600 miles away to school. Why? By the time you survive those teen years (and they talk about the terrible 2's?)--you're ready for a break. Even the BEST teen leaves drama and exhaustion in their wake, don't they? But now? At age 26, my dd has turned into a truly lovely person who I would enjoy spending time with even if we weren't related. I'm going to miss our nightly 'catch up' sessions, seeing her dashing around in the mornings trying to get to work on time (although, I'm planning on enjoying having the bathroom to myself then--YIPPPEEEEE!). But under it all? I'm just so thrilled that she was able to buy her own house, that she is doing a great job handling the financial details, setting it up, etc. And guess what? We're invited for lunch at her place today. I'm really curious about what she's going to serve--we don't all like the same foods, she doesn't cook, and has a complicated new range to figure out. But it's going to be an interesting experience. Point here? you're starting a whole new adventure with your daughter--sit back, relax and enjoy it as you both grow and achieve a new stage of life. Oh, understand, though, I spent a good bit of Sat. morning--first morning I woke up and she wasn't here--fighting back tears. We're entitled to that. It's a passage for us all. But a good one, in the end, I think, so we'll survive and be proud of them.
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Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
17 years ago
Why not make plans now to maybe have him for breakfast tomorrow, or supper on a specific evening, or evenings? That would give you something to plan and look forward to.

I agree...make 2 lists, one being things you want to do, and another one for things you need to do. Then you can decide which list to pick from.

Does he have 'everything' he needs for taking up housekeeping? if not, maybe you could shop for him some things or hit some yardsales or fleamarkets. Would that be an option?

I love helping young friends when they take up housekeeping. I unload my excess of good usable stuff and also get to shop for some real good bargains for them.

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susan_on
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks, ladies, I'm on it! I've been busy for the last few weeks, and I've got small lasagnas and all kinds of things in the freezer to get him started. I've "helped" with a few things at his house, and he won't let me do any more (he's thoughtful) because he says I've done enough. I did ask him if he needs cleaning cloths and stuff- I already stocked the cupboard with cleaning supplies and garbage bags. It really has been nice getting all this ready, it indulged my nurturing side. He does call me a lot, and DH reminds me that that won't likely change.

Toni, this is so different from when my DD moved out, for some reason. Probably because DS was still at home, and I was busy with him.

I'm definitely going to have to work on my hobbies and projects more. Lists are a good idea.
clubm
17 years ago
Been there also. Its tough to let go. But you will adjust
and maybe come it like like I did!
stargazzer
17 years ago
I hope you realize how lucky you to have a 21 year old that has the wisdom to buy a house at that age and hang onto it. I'll trade him for 2 of mine. LOL
sheilajoyce_gw
17 years ago
Expect phone calls about dinner time for cooking advice. Calls at that hour tend to be my kids with questions. My favorite was a call about 6pm from my older son. "Mom, I bought an artichoke. What do I do with it???"

The other day, younger son, who is also into cooking, called from across the country. I had told him the delicious Stickies my mom baked from left over pie crust. He wanted to try them and needed the recipe. He had been home a few weeks ago and baked me a blueberry-apple pie for my birthday--with a lattice crust top!

They do come back, so don't turn their rooms into a home gym or some such. This weekend, we are having the fun of babysitting our 2 years 8 months old grandson while his parents go to a friend's wedding a few hours away. We love the activity!

Then the parents will drive down here on Sunday night so that our son-in-law will be half way to San Diego where he needs to go for a few days on Monday morning. DD will stay with us a few days with our DGS. And in a couple of months, she will have another little boy. When she got married, we replaced her twin bed with a canopy with a king sized bed to encourage their visits.
socks
17 years ago
I know exactly how you feel.

As "they" say, you've given him roots and wings. You can be proud of him and happy for him that he is gaining the maturity and independence of a successful adult. Your house will be quiet, and you will love his visits.
grinch_gut
17 years ago
Good Luck Susan....moving Syd to college was hard enough1 And I still ahve the 2 boys tough they have never really lived full time with us like Syd has it will be tough either way! Stacy
chisue
17 years ago
I just realized that the first day of kindergarten must be dress rehearsal for this final lift-off.
sheilajoyce_gw
17 years ago
Yes, it is, Sue. And some parents fare as poorly as the kids.

Empty Nest Now

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Toni S

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