Palimpset your comment bears repeating: All honest work is valuable. Too often people are made to feel less because they haven't achieved a certain degree or class of greatness so they pursue education in a field that's not a good fit. We need a blend of people to make this country work. I have a son (and DIL) with an advanced degree from an ivy league school (currently drumming up business for his start-up in the Philippines and Singapore). I have a daughter (and SIL) who graduated from a top tier law school working for a highly ranked firm in NYC. Our youngest son has a degree in diversified agriculture and returned to work at our family farm. All are good in their respective chosen fields. I don't consider any less valuable than the other. I'll add that none of them have student loans because they all worked and saved while growing up and attending college. They got no student aid but we were able to help them. We sacrificed a lot when they were little to get to that point. Due to their careers, locations and connections we have been able to meet people from all levels of backgrounds: Wall Street execs, Supreme Court Justices, administrators at international schools, etc. When we initially meet and indicate our primary occupation is farming, there's a micro-expression (facial expression) that immediately reveals a surprised reaction. We're not fancy, but we do clean up. In addition to farming we're also involved in numerous other business interests such as banking and start-up companies (involving patents). When the discussion goes that direction, their reactions change. But we take pride in our farming. So, while Palimpset said she is "probably elitist and a snob", I will say that I am probably defensive toward those who are involved in occupations involving lower class and manual labor workers. They provide a huge contribution to society. Go a day or week without garbage pickup, plumbing, car repair, food to eat or snow removal and the value of a manual laborer becomes very apparent. Anyone familiar with today's agriculture environment, the technology involved and the costs of equipment, land, inputs, etc. knows that it takes curiosity to learn, determination to work hard and a high degree of risk tolerance to thrive. Having a regular career or job would be so much different.

This is nice! I'm so glad to see many of you are as honest as one could possibly be. I'm one among you. I don't like to keep anything that is not mine. Sitting in a wheelchair, I often use my wheelchair as a shopping cart. One time, I found an unpaid pack of battery on my wheelchair as I was getting ready to put the chair in the van. Right away, I felt uneasy. I went back to the store, explained that it was overlooked and paid for it. The funny thing was, people just don't know how to deal with an honest person. They have this "lost" look on their face. Oh, I'm sure they would know exactly what to do with a dishonest person. One time, I was taking money out of an ATM at the bank. The ATM spit out more money than I requested. I went into the bank to return it. The teller checked my account and didn't see any overdrawl. She checked and checked on the computer and didn't see any error. She looked at me and told me I can keep it. I refused. I explained to her that eventually, it will show up a lost somewhere at their end. She talked to other tellers and no teller knew what to do with the money. So, I requested for the manager. He came out, apologized for the error and accepted the money. Although, he too, didn't know what to do with it. The whole ordeal was so odd to me. A bank that wouldn't accept their money because at the time, there was no record of a lost in their computer system. I'm sure they eventually found it when they started looking in the ATM machine. LOL....

Snookums - I read a bunch of responses then just jumped ahead to put in my .02 cents. I've learned a few things having been married once before my current husband. #1 - You may have a spouse that is never satisfied. #1 was like that and it's part of their demoralizing way of controlling the situation and getting you to jump through hoops. LESSON LEARNED - No one spouse can carry the burden of making the relationship work, making it happy etc. Refuse to be the burden carrier if this is the case. Couple of suggestions: You could say, or have the attitude that his level of satisfaction regarding decorating, home improvement is level A but since you like it at level C that you will bring it up there as you see fit. You're not asking him to agree to it, you're just telling him. What about the next time something needs doing, he hasn't done it after 2 askings that you just go ahead, hire a handyman and have it done? When he squawks tell him, hey you had your chance to do it, you obviously didn't deem it important so "I took care of it for you. Aren't you glad honey, I took that load off your plate." One of two things will happen, especially if you do this every time, he'll either begin to do it himself if he doesn't like spending the money or he'll be fine with it as you've handled it. If he's not fine, then he has to do it by deadline A or again, you'll take care of it. As many have said, when throwing his fits, walk out of the room or refuse to respond telling him when he wants to have calm, rational, nonacusatory conversation, he can find you, until then, you've got other things to do. With DH #2 of 13 yrs, he has a higher standard when it comes to some cleaning issues that bug him and don't bug me. He's a busy body and I just tell him, hey, I'm willing to bring it to this level, if you want it better than this or whatever, then you can take it from there. Yes, at times I do feel a twinge of guilt but that is my own fault for even feeling it. Luckily I have a very DIY DH, mostly because he'd rather do it than spend the $$ and he's very talented in many areas and can do it. So I'm grateful. Plus nobody could accuse him of being lazy. Does your DH have a high level of frustration when he can't figure things out, get them done etc.? Maybe this is his throwing smoke so he doesn't have to deal with that issue (thre real fire). Better to not do task, than feel frustration or inadequacy over not being able to do it. You follow? Again, you doing it or better yet handyman could be an answer here. My house is my haven from the outside world and I'll be D&^@ed if anyone is NOT going to let me make it that way. Keep doing what you're doing girl!!!! We're with you. :)

Hey Jackie! From one of the 'old vets' of the KT..welcome to the most cyber fun you'll ever encounter! Be forewarned tho...this place is VERY addicting. My day starts w/a cup of coffee, reading my home state PA online newspaper then it's straight to the KT for my morning 'fix of friends'! I have 2 brothers who live in Jax..(Orange Park) and I can see why you headed north to live..pretty chaotic area. Sounds as if you might be near Fernandina Beach area-which I love! Stayed there for a week a few years back. I'm a recipe nerd as well-will be looking forward to seeing your selections to share. The KT is our 2nd home-a place you can get support, ideas, suggestions and a place to fill many lonely hours with cyber-friends. WELCOME from one of FL's Gulf Coast KT'ers!!!!