As far as I know, I still had a BEDTIME then (9:00 PM) during the week! LOL

When I started dating, I had to be home by 11 (he had to be home by 10:30). I was 1 week shy of 17 and he was 3 months past 16. Not sure what curfew would have been if I was younger, Eric was the only guy that ever asked me out.

I think 9 pm on weeknights unless it is a school or special event that runs later. 11 pm on weekends unless it's a school dance or something that goes to midnight.

I would partially base it on where they are going, what they are doing, who they are doing it with, what time they have to be up in the morning, etc. I don't believe in a set curfew, it is an invitation to just go somewhere and hangout. That said, 11:00 pm weekends, no later. Weeknights during the school year? They should be home for dinner and schoolwork unless there is compelling reason to be somewhere else (school activity, sports team, etc.).

My son is 17 and he has never had a Curfew. The reason is, we don't just let him "leave and go do whatever he wants with whomever he wants, just be home by 11:00".

He just got his own little SUV but he is allowed no passengers (my rule). So, he can go to a specific location (movies, friends house) and if he leaves to go somewhere else like to get pizza with his friends, he has to call.

I don't think he has ever been gone past midnight and I know (presumably) where he is.

It works for us and I trust him so far. He also knows that if he breaks that trust, his life will not be worth living until he's 18 and moved out! LOL

It depends on a lot for summer time. Like sue, I'd base it more on what they are doing...are they next door, seeing a late movie, at the park?

Be sure to check into your community's/city's curfew time...if there is one.

I'd check with what the other parents are doing. A too strict curfew time may only cause embarrassment or kids to rebel... go with the flow...

If you go to bed at 10pm, like we do(Dh has to get up at 5:30am for work), then why be awakened by doors slamming, dogs barking....he would be in by 10pm weekdays and weekends. But talking on his cell phone.....any time.

If the 15 yr old is driving, I would say 9. If occasionally out with older friends, 10, 11 on weekends.

I say you first check on local ordinances. Summertime isn't school time, so presumably he doesn't have to get up for school. I do have to wonder why he isn't working? But I guess I'd have to know more of what's going on to assign a curfew schedule. He's nearly an adult and should be treated as such. However some rules of course apply. Not sure there's much difference on weekdays or weekends if he's out of school. 10-11 pm at least on weekdays, midnight to 1 am on weekends, again it depends on ordinance and what's going on.

I'd like to know what's going on personally and base it on that. When I've been involved in curfews I never really endorsed a strict time. Each kid is different on maturity. I always said if you're going to be out past 10 or 11 or whatever, CALL. Period. If something reasonable is going on, that's fine. If help is needed, I sure want to know about it. And there's other rules as far as vehicles and the like which hasn't been mentioned or addressed.

I don't think we had a specific curfew for DD. She simply wasn't allowed to run the streets, ever. If she had something specific to do--going to the movies, or work, we'd discuss her plans and decide on a time for her to be in--and if she was going to be even a few minutes late, a call was expected.

I really don't see that 15, 16 or 17 year olds NEED to be out roaming, causing mischief after dark (or any other time, for that matter).

Now my kids's curfew was not recently! So take this with a grain of salt! They are now 33,31, and 28.
They had to be home by 10 week nights and by 12 on Friday and Saturday nights.

Don't remember having a curfew but do remember my father never going to bed before I got home. I respected that and even when I moved back home for Teachers College, never stayed out really late. If I had had children, I would have expected that same consideration.

We never had a curfew for our son. It was always dependant on what he was going to do, where he was going. A case
by case siutation.

Ooops.I should have said m son is 16,not 17.

But in a nutshell , what Kat said.

I don't believe in curfews. Like others said I believe it should be on a case by case basis. I wanted to know where my kids were at and what they were doing. The time of day/night was irrelevant. No cell phones when the kids were 15 so they had to check in by landline if plans changed or they were going to be out later than expected.

This is easy. If the child has a specific goal i.e. a movie, they should be home with in 10 minutes of when it gets over plus how ever long it takes to travel from door to door. If they are just hanging out, they should be home before dark. Once a child is 16 and is driving we found the half hour per grade to work. So 10:00 is lights out time during the week, we work even if they have no reason to go to bed so the house should be secure before we go to bed. So week ends they would have 10:30=10th grade, 11:00-11th grade 11:30 for 12th. You would not believe the stories I hear from my students about what all they manage to do at 3 and 4 a.m. Don't kid yourselves parents these kids, "good kids", can and do get into mischief after midnight. If you are lucky there is a curfew in your town. Note no curfew in any town I have ever heard of has teens running around after mid-night. Support your local police keep your kids HOME !

It is good of you to seek advice, but remember contrary to some advice here, no one is responsible for your child's well being but you. "Going with the flow" in this day and age is a HUGE mistake so many parents are making. You are the parent not friend, buddy, pal. Rules and guidance given in a firm but loving manner DO NOT incite rebellion. The mores of today are leading many of our youth down a path many won't survive. It saddens me deeply when I hear parents think "following the crowd" can ever be a healthy thing.

Growing up I never had a curfew and was sometimes out till 1:00 am or later because of work. I can't remember either parent saying a word to me about when I was coming home. I find that really strange now that I'm a parent. My son, who's 18 now never had a curfew because he never went anywhere, except a few times through the years to spend the night with friends, go to a birthday party or outing. It got to the point where if he went somewhere I was just happy he was doing something.

My daughter, 14, is another story. She's more of an extrovert with lots of friends and likes hanging out with them in the park or at their houses. I'm actually happy about this, she is totally opposite of me, her father and brother. She is supposed to be home by dark, but if she's at a friends' house it's usually 9:00 pm, especially when I'm working the next day or it's a school night. The fair was in town week before last and she was pushing it, went to the fair 3 days in a row. Third day I only agreed she could go if she left at 9:00. I had to work the next day and I wasn't about to stay up waiting for her friend's mom to drive her home. She threw a fit and so I grounded her.

So, I think it depends on the child and your life style.

How late do YOU want to wait up?

I still remember talks I had with my mom when I'd return from a date. I didn't fully appreciate then as I do now that she was 'there for me' even though she had a demanding job and was surely tired.

Fifteen? Fifteen is still a child in my book, regardless of what 'they' say. Teens need more supervision than toddlers! LOL It's all a continuation of the same 'rubber band thing': Venture away/return to safety; venture a little farther/come back. The band stretches a little at a time.

I never had a curfew-I was a Very Good Girl-good grades, honor roll, shy,never had a boyfriend, never got in trouble in school. My parents let me stay out late any time I wished as long as they knew where I was-whether it was a sleepoveR at females friends house or Pep rally at school or drama club rehearsals. I never let them down. They knew I would behave myself. i trusted my two girls the same way. But I had a "secret weapon"- their cell phones. I told each one to calll me if they'd be out late, especially on a school night. And if they didn't , I called them! On the other hand, my younger brother and sister tended to get in trouble. Sis was enamored of a Motorcycle Gang guy, my parents didn't like him. So she had curfews, like 10 on school NIghts and midnight on weeklends. And my brother definitely needed a curfew when he came home laTE one bight all beat up from being in a fight.His face was a mess and he had a tooth missing. Not sure what else, but I think it depends on the kid. Show me you're responsible, I'll give you priviledges. But if you give me a hard time, I'll keep you on a tight chain.

Interesting responses here. I have a 17 year old DD. She doesn't have a curfew and we usually decide on a case by case situation of how long she can stay out. It's usually not past 11 though. The other night she said her girlfriend wanted to know why she had to be home so early and I told her because I'm tired and I can't go to sleep until you're home. lol

She's a good girl and I trust her and that makes a world of difference. Her sister, on the other hand, who is almost 21 now, liked to lie and so we had her on a short leash. She has turned out to be quite a nice girl now too.

Each child is different and I don't think the rules should be the same for all.

We have dogs that bark. My brother and his wife were here recently and we needed them to back here to the house by 9:30 or so so that we wouldn't be awakened by them coming home after we were in bed.

Same thing would apply if we had a kid, I'm afraid. We get up so many times in the night with our elderly dog that we poop out early and get up early.

I don't really see why a kid would need to be out past 10 PM, though, most nights. And I remember being a teen and staying out late and I assure you, it would have been better if I'd had a stricter curfew! ;) Once home, though, during the summer or vacations, I think they should be able to stay up til midnight as long as they don't sleep their days away.

I'm so glad to read so many of you don't stick to hard and fast curfew rules. I never had a defined curfew but always was home at a reasonable time and never got into any real trouble. My mom never gave me a curfew becasue she had a friend whose daughter died rushing home to make curfew... please keep that in mind... if you have a curfew you may not want to be overly strick with the exact time...kids that age will tend to speed home to beat the clock if they are severly punished for being a little late. Everybody can run late from time to time...teach your kids to call if something comes up and not to rush home.

Regarding making kids come home so you can go to bed thing... I guess that is ok at this age..but, really, you don't expect older teens to have to come home early just so you can go to bed? My brother goes to bed at 8:30 -- that would be hard on his kids' social lives. One thing one of my friend's fathers did was set an alarm clock --- say her curfew was 12:00...he'd set it for 12:20... his daughter was suppose to turn off the alarm when she got home...so it would go off only if she wasn't home by 12:20. Maybe a good idea for some of you who want to go to bed, but want to make sure your kid does get home safely.

The alarm clock idea is ingenious, but...I think it's nice for Mom or Dad to be awake and share a few words when the kid comes home. IMO it's not enough that they are back under your roof. (In what condition?)

We had a curfew at our dorm when I started college -- check in, go to your room. I think teens can often use some 'debriefing', and a parent needs to confirm in person that they are OK.

Of course it would be nice if you could stay up until your child comes homes and chat...but if they go out a lot and you work weekends or go to bed early, it may not always be a option for everyone.

arcy, I understand where you are coming from but I am not suggesting the kids jump off a bridge just because their friends do. Let's face it, if the kid is going to get into trouble, they can do so just as easily at 8:00. I'm just saying, talk to the other parents...If they are respectable people, they are probably going to have a decent opinion -- Of course no 15 or 16 yr old should be hanging out until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning like your post mentioned--if the kids' parents are suggesting that time, then they aren't really respectable people, and you need to go with your time, and help your child find different friends. But, I think that the OP is asking more along the lines of...9:00 or 10:30?... and should she give an extra half hour or hour more on the weekends type thing. No one is suggesting 3-4am is ok.

Here's why I suggested to go with the flow...As they get older and curfews mean more...If all the other kids are allowed to stay out until 11:00, but you make your child come home by 10:00 there will be problems...mainly because the other kids will often have to leave places early to make sure your child gets home in time..(their curfew is 11:00 but they have to leave a party at 9:30 to get your kid home?). They will start to resent your child and your kid will probably start being left out of social engagements because of it. In return, your child will most probably start to resent you and, yes, may rebel, if they feel you are making them an outcast. I saw this exact thing happen with a girlfriend of mine..the strings were too tight... So, if you are dealing with good families and decent kids, talk to the other parents and, yes, "go with the flow" if it's reasonable.

IMO, this is not peer pressure or bad parenting by lack of rules; it's actually learning to let go, and treating your child with some respect. And, in the long run it may help when they go off to college to have already been intrusted some. They're not going to have many rules there. Hopefully, you haven't taught them to behave by using those "rules" only because most of those rules will, literally be gone overnight. Teaching your kids trust and responsibilty and how to behave by giving them a little breathing room, will generally get better results than a lot strict rules in the long run.

Of course, each kid is different and you may need to punish or readjust some rules depending on probelms or circumstances...but if you have a good kid (like I am assuming the OP has)...generally going with the flow on curfew isn't a bad thing.

I'm no parent, but I don't remember having a curfew either. Just usually came straight home after a date, ect. Boring huh?

Now my younger brother by 4yrs. would come one around 11pm, then when everyone else was asleep sneak back out through the livingroom window! He didn't have a bedroom, he slept on the fold out sofa. I know cause I caught him once, but of course sister didn't squeal. As far as I know Mom or Dad never found out.

Even 3 or 4 in the morning can be reasonable at times. That's why I say it has to be on a case by case basis. If your DS or DD is going out to dinner at 7:00 then 3:00 AM would be ridiculous. You would expect them home around 11 or midnight.

But when my kids were 15/16 they were at the Rocky Horror Picture Show every weekend. That starts at midnight. Being part of the cast and crew they had to stay after and clean up. Then they would all go out for breakfast at the local Denny's. So coming home in the wee hours of the morning was reasonable.

My teen yrs. were in the 70's and I never had a curfew but, I was never a teen that was out and about all over the place.

Myy DD will be 15 in Sept. We haven't really set curfews because our rules are that during the school year she is in her room, asleep or not, by 9:30. If she is still up by 11 pm, I turn off the lights. I usually don't have to enforce it. She's tired enough between school and soccer that she crashes! During the weekends, she needs to be home by 11 pm. She doesn't drive so it's usually us or other parents driving her and her friends around to movies and such.

In the summer, we relax a bit more. She still has to be home by 11 pm. but doesn't necessarily have to go to sleep then. If there's a party/sleepover, I can count on them being up until the wee hours. I let it go in the summer. Figure I get on her case enough during the school year and she is a good kid so I really do relax her hours in the summer.

Once she starts to drive.... everything will change! Right now, I have the control.

we were always more relaxed in the summer, and most of the time it was group activities (movies mostly)since dh had to be to work early, we pretty much closed everything down around 10, and had strict no calls after that time.

school was different..it was 10 for the oldest, nine for the younger kids...after the kids turned 16 they had jobs so it was after work...since all 4 had various sports/band i didn't have any problems getting them to bed...

i'm sure i've posted this before, but when they were 18 it was 1am, and the front door was locked...dd and sil were here for a visit..we were watching the grands but they still were home by 1 am, lol....dd said it was force of habit...

it really depends on the child...one of my boys put himself to bed, even as a small child, if he was tired...his twin sister was not quite as reliable...had few times she was on restriction...

Well I'm out of those years. The curfew depended on what they were doing and how long it took to get there. I'm in a rural area and the nearest movie theatre is 45 minutes away. My daughter was required to wake me up when she got home and not just nudge me. Because I'm such a sound sleeper, she had to make sure I actually sat up in bed and talked coherently. In my case though, I actually stood up and went and talked to her in her room.

Never had curfews for our kids; it would be silly to go to a 7:00 pm movie and not have to be home till 12:00. We just always relied on them being honest about were they were going and when they'd home. Not that they always were.............