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talley_sue_nyc

kids flying alone--let them change plane to save $$$?

18 years ago

We had to postpone making a decision about whether to send my kids to visit my folks for a week.

Now that we know it's a go, the price per kid for a nonstop flight went up, to $750. Times two kids, plus $150 for the "unaccompanied minor" fee ($75 each way).

My folks live in the Des Moines area, so that's not a lot of choices for airlines.

If we send them on a different airline, we can do it for as low as $326 per kid (or maybe $480)--but they will have to change planes at O'Hare or Kansas City.

DH is adamant, they can't change planes.

I want to send them for less than half the price. I figure, the oldest is 14; she's very composed. My son is a little less composed, but he doesn't panic (mostly he's rowdy), and he's 10. They're not babies. If their flight is delayed or even canceled, they'll be emotionally fine. And so, they'll be a little late getting from KC or IL to IA.

DH is adamant, they can't change planes.

Does he think they'll end up dead? I ask him.

DH is adamant, they can't change planes.

What if they had to stay overnight, who would they stay with? he asks.

Any thoughts or experiences that would help me make a case--or persuade me that he's right?

Comments (44)

  • 18 years ago

    My Granddaughter has been "changing planes" since she was 8. as unaccompanied minor Her motheer didn't seem to see any problem with it I, on the other hand, was/have been leery of it.

  • 18 years ago

    If they've never done it before....I wouldn't do O'Hare, but Kansas city is one of the few airports I think would be OK. It's less congested and well laid out.

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  • 18 years ago

    My husband felt the same about our 15-year-old traveling alone last spring, but we didn't buy the "Unaccompanied Minor" ticket. Wouldn't that fee include a flight attendant (or someone from the airline) to accompany them from one gate to the next? If not, what the heck is it for?? Our dd flew from the West Coast to the East coast directly, but had to catch the Peter Pan bus from Boston (Logan airport) to Providence, RI. She did fine with a full sheet of directions written by my dh and lotsa cell calls, but I was still rather nervous.

  • 18 years ago

    A 14 year old is old enough to change planes. I think it is worth it for the kids to get some grandparent time. They also get to breathe clean Iowa air for a week.

  • 18 years ago

    I am about an hour from Ohare and would be happy to be on call.

    ~Lynda

  • 18 years ago

    I agree with Linda. A 14 year old from NY should be able to handle the change without any problem.

    If your kids were from a one horse town who never ventured out at all my opinion might be different.

  • 18 years ago

    I don't fly very often at all and twice I've been stuck staying overnight unexpectedly due to a missed connection (weather being the cause both times) so I'd definitely want to have a plan in case that happened. Both times it was pure chaos trying to make arrangements and figure out what was going on and that was a few years ago and I was an adult. I hear things are even worse with airlines these days.

    I'm with your husband. If everything was sure to go according to plan, I wouldn't have a problem with it but it seems like the chance of things going wrong are quite high these days.

    Reading this reminded me of a blog post from a blog I read regularly. She had a lot of trouble getting out of O'Hare recently. I can't imagine a 14-year old and 10-year old dealing with that.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Flight trouble

  • 18 years ago

    i grew up in chicago, have flown thru o'hare hundreds of times and know my way around well and i still prefer midway. infact if i can avoid o'hare at all costs i do lol! there is no way i'd send a child or even a teen thru o'hare, it's HUGE it's THE biggest airport in the US and usually ranked #1 in late flights/delays as well as traffic. can you maybe fly thru midway? it's far smaller, easier to navigate and less busy?? if i still lived up there i'd help ya out in a heartbeat cuz i think it's dangerous to send them thru o'hare. please find some other option, sorry...~ liz

  • 18 years ago

    Ok I'm a super over protective mom I admit and I would not want my 15 year old to change planes. I'd have a hard time letting her fly without an adult (that I knew).

  • 18 years ago

    I can't believe the timing of this post.
    Tomorrow morning I take my 14 year old son to the airport for his first "solo" flight. He changes planes in Denver and Albuquerque to get to the little nameless spot on the map where we use to live in New Mexico. We talked it over and he feels he's ready for it. I printed off all the flight info as well as maps of the airports. Being the youngest of 5 kids he's always worked at keeping up with the "big" kids.
    I do admit I'm a bit apprehensive but I feel he's ready for this. He has the confidence to ask for directions if he needs to. He'll also have a cell phone.
    Think good thoughts for him tomorrow.
    Thanks.

    Ron

  • 18 years ago

    I have to agree with Liz, I have transitted O'Hare at least 100 times and hate that airport. Midway is a lot smaller, calmer and easier to get assistance. Have you tried Midwest Air?

  • 18 years ago

    I flew by myself when I was 13 (almost 14), and had to change planes. My dad gave me very detailed instructions before I went, and I knew how to follow signs to my next gate and to the luggage area when I got to where I was going. I didn't go as an unaccompanied minor or however that works - I was on my own, and I loved it. I would just have found someone to ask for directions or help if I needed it.

    I think 14 is old enough if he's responsible and confident enough. I'd say buy the cheaper tickets with the other airline and save a nice big chunk of money!!

  • 18 years ago

    I'd listen to the husband. While I agree that the kids would probably be ok, why start a major conflict with your husband? I believe you should both be on the same page with this and if he is not comfortable, you should honor his wishes. That's just my take on it though.

  • 18 years ago

    If you can route them through Milwaukee, I'll meet them and deliver them wherever they need to go in the airport. I'll make a sign like limo drivers use to meet their fares.

    O'Hare is VERY big. When you say they are changing planes, are they also changing airlines? If it's just planes, they'll probably stay in the same terminal and have no problems at all. But remember - they are sophisticated New Yorkers who will be have all the instructions they need from you to get along whatever they have to do.

    Sherry

  • 18 years ago

    When in doubt, err on the side of caution especially when it concerns kids.

    Money can buy a lot of "things". When peace of mind and safety can be bought, it is well worth the cost, IMO.

  • 18 years ago

    Talley Sue I guess I would have to agree with you. My kids grew up in the military and there were several times that I put them on a plane (as young as 8 years old) and used the airline chaperone service to send them to Grandparents in New York. They had a ball.

    The kids will NEVER be out of direct supervision from airline employees and each time they get handed over to a different person, there are signatures along the way. In addition, they are never in the main terminal area by themselves...they are in a VIP area away from the general public. My kids LOVED the attention they received...and even got to fly first class.

    If you have the confidence in your kids, I say LET THEM FLY WITH THE CHAPERONE SERVICE OF THE AIRLINES, regardless of how many times they have to change planes or what airport they have to go thru. And heck, if they get delayed and have to spend the night someplace, they will have the time of their lives...and the airlines will contact you with the plans and delays!

  • 18 years ago

    Yes, there will be airline supervision. No, they won't change airlines.

    The youngest is 10.

    They've both flown several times.

    It's less the size of O'Hare, and more the fact that it's got a lot of flight cancellations.

    There is also the possibility of changing planes in Kansas City. I think that's more like $440 per flight ($100 difference, TIMES TWO!), but KC is a much less daunting airport.

    I do want to call the airline and say, "what happens if they can fly in but nobody can get out, and they need to stay overnight?" That's honestly my only worry.

    I think I'll call about that tomorrow.

    We trained the oldest how to navigate around airports, and how to read a ticket, etc., from 2 years old. We haven't been as aggressive training her younger brother, but on our flight to Hawaii, we did.

    They've flown without us before at least twice.

    (My youngest is a touchy-feely sort of kid; he likes hugs and attention. I was a bit worried he'd miss us while he was away. I asked when he got back, did you miss us, and he said, "Oh! I forgot." Then he said, "well on the plane I did, but then we took off, and I forgot.")

    They've been through an airplane delay with me once; we got to Detroit and couldn't fly out, so we found a hotel and stayed. They weren't fazed at all.

  • 18 years ago

    I'm also thinking, if the airline has unaccompanied minors on its hands, aren't they going to give them first dibs on seats on flights? I would imagine they'd even go so far as to ask people to give up their seats so they can get the kids onto a plane.

    Also, the kids won't have to wait in the line at the ticket counter, and make arrangements for which flights. They'll sit in a couple of chairs off to the side and poke at each other while the airline employee in charge of them punches up possible flights on the computer.

    So a lot of the stress of scheduling problems won't actually be their problem.

    (honestly, my two worries are, what if they do have to stay overnight, and whether they're going to fight w/ each other and annoy all the other passengers)

  • 18 years ago

    My grandson has flown from Hawaii to Florida by himself once when he was about 6 (His father sent him) I was scared but he didn't tell us until after he arrived.

    My DH and I have brought him over here to Hawaii from Florida for Christmas the past two years. He flew Delta and they have someone to accompany them all the way between flights. One stop in Atlanta. He can't wait to come again (Nor can my DH) He is 12 this year. He was 10 and 11 the last two times.
    When he was 10 we could only get a flight with two plane changes for a cheaper price. They would have to stop in Detroit. Delta called us after he was in the air and said since it was snowing in Detroit and the airport closed he would go straight from Atlanta to Florida and get home sooner.

  • 18 years ago

    My grandson has flown from Hawaii to Florida by himself once when he was about 6 (His father sent him) I was scared but he didn't tell us until after he arrived.

    My DH and I have brought him over here to Hawaii from Florida for Christmas the past two years. He flew Delta and they have someone to accompany them all the way between flights. One stop in Atlanta. He can't wait to come again (Nor can my DH) He is 12 this year. He was 10 and 11 the last two times.
    When he was 10 we could only get a flight with two plane changes for a cheaper price. They would have to stop in Detroit. Delta called us after he was in the air and said since it was snowing in Detroit and the airport closed he would go straight from Atlanta to Florida and get home sooner.

  • 18 years ago

    Every plane we have flown on that had unaccompanied minors always had at least 1 flight attendant that was responsible for them while on the plane and have seen those kids go from the hands of a flight attendant to the hands of an experienced, trustworthy employee. Even for stops at the airport restroom the employee has stood inside the restroom to wait for them. I would think your 14 year old would be fine and the 10 year old too if he listens to big sis.

  • 18 years ago

    the 10 year old too if he listens to big sis.

    That's actually a bigger worry--not that he wouldn't listen to her, but that she would make sure to tell him, and he would blow up! LOL!

    She gets bossy. And it doesn't sit well w/ him. We make it a point to separate them whenever possible at the dinner table, on airplanes, etc.

    She and I had a little talk about that the last time they flew without us. It seemed to work.

  • 18 years ago

    I paid extra for UAM the flight between Hawaii and Oregon for my 8 year old;and thank God I did. It took just one missed connection, and my son spent the night in the employee lounge at LAX instead of wandering the airport.

    I know it is rare, but in the news not long ago remember the passenger who was molesting the UAM in their own seat?!I wanted to be sure that someone would keep a eye on my son and he would be safe at all times. The crew moved him to first class just to make it easier for everyone. ( at no extra charge)

    Most airlines also have a set age that factors into the unaccompanied minor, you probably need to check that for the 10 year old. Kathy

  • 18 years ago

    The only advantage of O'hare is that if ther flight gets cancelled there will be more options than there will be in KC.
    Also, the key is to get them on that second flight as early in the day as possible. You have a better chance doing that NY to Chicago. So, just make sure that they are not on the last flight of the day.
    Try to have them fly mid week, if possible. The airports during the summer are absolute Zoos on and around the weekend.
    Also, I was really surprised on a recent 7:00 AM Monday flight - the security was practically out the door.
    I think they can do it.

  • 18 years ago

    Listen to your husband. Something always seems to go wrong when flying, and airports are scary places, even for me, at age 55. I wouldn't let a child under 16 change planes.

  • 18 years ago

    I have three kidlets who grew up flying back and forth between Texas and Florida, and had to change planes nearly every time. Sometimes their favorite stories were about how cool the airline attendants were!! I agree with you, and I KNOW from experience that they will be well taken care of!

  • 18 years ago

    I have alsot of friends that fly and a few that work for airlines. They say that things are getting worse by the day.
    My husband flys atleast every other month for work. The last two times, it was just horrible. The first time his flight out was cancelled and he ended up sitting at the airport for 5 hours waiting for another flight. He didnt call me to come back to get him because I dropped him on my way to work. When he finaly did get on the flight, he was rerouted to another airport and had to switch planes. So what was supposed to be around a 8 hour trip, turned into a all day event. On his return flight, he had to switch planes and because of weather the connecting flight was cancelled. He spent the night at the airport and flew home the next afternoon. I recently flew into Florida. My flight there was perfect. My return flight was way overbooked and because I was flying on a buddy pass, I was bumped till the next day. And you know the worst part was that I had to go back to the hotel on the beach and sip margaritas by the pool! LOL

  • 18 years ago

    O'hare is an aweful airport. VERY large and busy. I would not let my kids change plans at O'hare. A smaller airport would be much nicer.
    Just my 2¢ worth.
    Judy

  • 18 years ago

    I think you're kids will be fine...write them out a nice little letter of instructions...stick it in their book bag...just in case...If you sign them up to be unaccompanied minors...they will never be left alone...try to keep them from having to take the last flights of the day...that's when you run into problems and they possibly might have to overnight somewhere..

    Good Luck and keep us posted!!

  • 18 years ago

    Is your husband willing to talk directly to the airline about what their UAM ticket means? Maybe they could reassure him that your kids would have adult protection 100% of the trip, in all circumstances, even if plans change unexpectedly.

    But really, I agree with scissors above -- even though your kids would probably have no problems, I'd pay the extra money just to keep the peace (and parental unity) in your household. I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Time enough in a few more years to let them tackle changing travel arrangements alone.

  • 18 years ago

    GardenSpice, you're right about the volume and timing of flights to O'Hare. And the weekday advice is good, too--they'll be flying out on Friday (not so great), and back on Thursday.

    DH volunteered last night that he thinks it would be OK if they get into O'Hare before noon (easily done). That gives them tons of time. And there are at least 3 flights to Des Moines on United after the one I have my eye on.

    I know O'Hare is huge, but remember that they won't navigate it alone. Heck, they'll probably get put on one of those carts and driven to their gate. (which will frustrate them, bcs they like the challenge of following the signs and deciphering everything)

    They're also not going to get bumped the way grownups would. Nor are they going to have to figure out which flight they can get on, etc. (in fact, I would almost bet they'll bump grownups in order to get a UAM onto a flight)

    Also, I spoke to the folks at United (which would be the airline we'd use through O'Hare). He said that if they have such trouble on United that they can't get them out, they'll put them on another airline (tapping into their UAM program, of course).

    DH knows what the UAM program is; we've used it before. We *have* to use it; both kids are under 15.

    There won't be any parental unity (or harmony) if DH insists on the nonstop--not for a price difference of $830. (changing planes = $640; nonstop = $1,500) We won't have open warfare, but it means my kids don't get to visit my parents this year. Which will make me grumpy.

    (Liz, re: the last flight of the day: airlines won't take UAMs on the last flight, or on the redeye)

    As for O'Hare being scary--well, my kids ride the NYC subway system regularly, LOL! O'Hare will be a piece of cake.

  • 18 years ago

    since they are not changing airlines that's not so bad, so i can see the kids being o.k. united is the biggest terminal and all the gates are grouped together. a plus to the united terminal is if they do get stuck for a bit there's lots of nice food & beverage places as well as some shopping for goodies. send them w/ spending cash in the terminal. if you have to be stuck at any airport it is o'hare for all the fabulous amenities they have that's for sure. sounds like you have a good plan, glad they are not changing carriers! BTW just a tip, make sure they understand the time difference. when i was barely a teen i flew alone for a spring break trip to stay w/ a friend that lived in phoenix. i had a 4 hr layover in salt lake city and forgot about the time change...the chute to the plane was already closed when i realized what time it was lol. i'll never ever again have that happen!

    hope they enjoy their short time in chicago, too bad it's not flying in/out during the night, it's gorgeous! ~ liz

  • 18 years ago

    That's good to know about the UAM's not allowed on the last flight of the day...I fly the all nighters from the west coast all the time into Atlanta...and we have lots of UAM's...but there's lots of flights to connect to.

    Don't let them jump off the plane without the flight attendant taking them...I had one threaten that last summer (she said she KNEW what she was doing and she had flown lots of times and didn't NEED or WANT our help..she was a whoppin 9 years old)...so as soon as we touched down...I got up and went and sat on her armrest..she was a pistol...

  • 18 years ago

    Just wanted to add my two cents about the kids fighting with one another. My kids are older DD,younger DS ,2 years apart. When they were around your kids age they would fight at home or when we were around. They NEVER fought when they were left alone together. Kids will pull together when needed and generally only fight in the "safe" zone.

    Today they are both adults who are very close and very protective of one another. However bring them to a family dinner with just the 4 of us and the mild button pushing starts. LOL

  • 18 years ago

    Talley Sue - I think you should go for it. It seems your 2 kids are knowledgeable about flying and the UAM program usually works well. A few months ago you posted that you and your daughter became separated on the way to school one morning. If I recall correctly she continued on her way to school without a problem. This might be a great opportunity for your children to enhance their problem solving skills and increase their self confidence. And they'll probably have cell phones to stay in touch with you if need be.

  • 18 years ago

    McMann, I think you're right--how does a kid learn to be self-sufficient, except by practicing in situations that are still safe.

    We decided to do it. They'll change planes in O'Hare, with about 1.5 hours between flights (good, since they'll need to buy lunch).

    We'll walk through the game plan w/ them (they've flown before, so it won't be weird), and also walk through possible trouble scenarios.

    My mom was saying this, and I thought it was really interesting:
    It will be an adventure. But *nothing* can actually BE an adventure unless there's a feeling of risk, or uncertainty. So, if you never place your kid in a situation that's a little unsettling to him, you never give him an opportunity to have an adventure.

    She also said, Everyone is entitled to a little adventure.

    And you're right--my DD can get herself to and from school without a grownup, using the NYC subway system. Even when things go a little bit wrong. I think she can handle the well-marked airport in Chicago, with all those airline employees around.

  • 18 years ago

    I bet they'll have a great time, they're going to feel brilliant and very proud of themselves when they arrive at destination and they won't fight at all. An adventure is good for everyone, and this seems like a pretty well-organized and supervised one. I hope they have a great trip!

  • 18 years ago

    Now all you have to do is tell us when they're going and you'll have the entire KT sending along their wishes for a successful trip with just a hint of adventure.

    This is from a Mom who's daughter is going on her own adventure tomorrow. She's driving to our vacation home in the PA mountains by herself for the first time. It's only 120 miles which is no big deal. It takes about 3 hours but the route is fairly complicated with heavy traffic and lots of road changes.

    I hope your daughter and son have a fabulous journey.

  • 18 years ago

    McMann, when I was in college--21, I think, bcs I remember us joking about me still going to the pediatric endocrinologist--my mother sent me w/ my little sister from southern Iowa to Minneapolis; we both had doctor's appointments for follow-up visits, and she had something on her calendar.

    I remember feeling a bit daunted, but also really flattered that my mom would think I could handle it. She was very firm--I'd be OK, it wasn't as hard as my fear was making it out to be.

    I grew up in small town Iowa, mind you--and on the trip I had to navigate Minneapolis streets, etc.

    My sis and I did fine--she navigated, I drove, we talked, etc.

    And it was a huge confidence builder--to have faced something I thought was difficult, and to have succeeded.

    However, I realized my mom had been slowly preparing me for stuff like that. When I was in high school, she had made me drive on shopping trips to Des Moines. She had made me get out a map, and study it, and figure out how to go where.

    That's sort of what I think this trip can do--it can be a safe training ground for them, and then when they're in college, they can go visit family or friends even if they have to change planes TWICE, or something.

  • 18 years ago

    Sounds like you are all very comfortable with your decision. The kids will be very proud of themselves and will rise to the occasion. Like wildchild said, they'll be united in their quest and will be very supportive of each other.

    I was confident when my kids flew alone, but....I was also a nervous wreck. You and your hub should plan a long dinner together to celebrate the kids' victory and say a giant "whew!"

  • 18 years ago

    Your Mother is a wise woman. I liked her take on an adventure requiring a feeling of risk or uncertainty and that everyone is entitled to a little adventure. She is right on the mark. I read once when my children were little that a Mother's (or any parent's) job is to put herself out of work. The goal is to raise independent, self motivating adults. It sounds like your Mom did just that by preparing you to "figure out how to go where".

  • 18 years ago

    I am a flight attendant and also a purser. I fly San Juan a lot and get a lot of UM's. The other day I had 8 UM's on one flight.
    This is the procedure. The UM is handed to me and I sign for him/her. We walk them to their seat and tell them not to take the necklace off. Many kids won't wear the UM necklace and if they take it off I have no way to find them if they have switched seats. The flight is 5 hours long and the 8 UM's are in different seats throughout coach. I am working business class and cannot see them. The UM is basically on their own during the flight. At the end of the flight I remind them to not get off the airplane by themselves and to meet me at the door. I have had UM's take off their necklace and walk right past me. The other day I had a 5 year old who told me she was 4. She would not sit down and listen to our directions. I don't have time to babysit a child. When I met the mother I told her I felt her child was too young to fly alone. She said that the $100.00 fee covered us watching her child.
    Anything can happen on an airplane. Sometimes flights get diverted. I will not take a UM to my hotel room because of liability.
    The decision's up to you just know that we cannot watch the child during most of the flight.
    Donna

  • 18 years ago

    I have sent you a message via your My page.
    Lynda

  • 18 years ago

    Donna, where do you fly from when you go to San Juan? American Airlines? Just asking because my sister flies in/out of there frequently coming from and going to St. Thomas. I was at the San Juan airport once when I went to see her. Interesting place!

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