Sorry, meant to say Now that the kids have grown or almost.

I don't know anything about them but I would stay away from a chat room, they could cause more problems. I did find this one on google. It may be what your looking for.

Here is a link that might be useful: mental abuse

Greetings ... and welcome ... bebet,

I am really sorry to hear your message, about the ongoing troubles with which you've been beset: such things do grind one down.

I can't offer much in the way of chat rooms where a discussion of these issues are dealt with. But I'm sure that a number of denizens of this place will have some good suggestions.

However - I can tell you that you'll find many receptive and perceptive people at this site, who have empathetic ears and truly caring hearts, and who usually offer a number of worthwhile suggestions, if such are sought.

Come here to share a cup of coffee and whatever else suits you, whenever you feel moved to do so.

ole joyful

I meant to say that also but posted to quick.
Welcome Bebet, lots of caring people here to share with. One of us might have some answers right here.

Maybe this site may be of some help. Under Support Resources/FAQ there is a link for a Bulletin Board

Good luck to you.

You may also have some luck searching on the internet under the term: Emotional Abuse

Here is a link that might be useful: Verbal Abuse

Bebet, I'm glad you are seeking help. Carla's suggestion looks interesting. Also if you go to the link below, there is an Abuse Support forum.

Just remember that in these forums any advice you get is not from a professional so proceed with caution. But the forums can be helpful in terms of sharing.

Take care.

Here is a link that might be useful: Health Boards

I second OJ's suggestion because Gardenweb and the KT are as anonymous as you want it to be and would be difficult for someone in your household to trace your activities. I surely would not go to a site that my conversations could be used against me at a later date. You should at least "talk" here and see what advise you are given and from there seek the recommended help you need. Sometimes just being able to talk puts it into perspective and helps you to deal with it.

As others have said, I've had BAD experiences in chat rooms. Wierdos and troublemakers often come in and ruin everything.

It's fine to share with us here, if you want.

I wonder if you have health insurance that includes counseling. Many do.

The website below may of help to you. They have a message board dealing with depression from both sides. Those that are depressed or bipolar and those who live with them and suffer the effects.

Check out the site. Lot's of good info. You a may visit to read the message board without registering.

Here is a link that might be useful: Depression Fallout

I would suggest places like the YMCA, some churches, your hospital chaplains have resources, and if you want to go outside your immediate community, go to your state resources. They have 800#s you can call.
Remember once is is posted on the Internet, it could be there forever.

Thank you for the advice. I guess maybe I should share alittle to make the situation easier to understand. One question was do we have insurance. The answer is yes. But I have no car. I have asked for many yrs for us to get counseling. We have been together since I was 16 and he was 19. We have been married 23 yrs. I did leave once about 12 yrs ago for about a 1 yr. But then it was not for the riht reasons. Over the yrs I had gotten my self so depressed I started self medicating by drinking and som drugs/ persciption. So when I decided that was not the way to go I stopped and then thought it was all my fault. So I went back. Well things have never gotten better. He controls everything. Always has. Like not having a car. I have never done the shopping for food, well anything. I am just feeling all alone. Like I have no worth. I feel like nothing. but thanks for the help

Bebet, after thinking about your situation and reading some of the other posts here, I agree that you need more than a chat room. You are in an emotionally fragile state. I think you need to talk to a professional who can offer you solid advice. If transportation is a problem, see if a neighbor can take you, taxi, bus, walk, whatever. No one should feel as bad as you do. Please know you have worth, you are something.

We live in a small town. I have lost pretty much all my friends over the yrs, And I really have no access to money. I really just for now need to talk. I need to I guess prove to myself it is not all me. All I ever hear is most woman would be thankful to be in my position. Hey that maybe even half true. He is not all bad. But to me and the kids. I know life should not be this. Sadly I had it even worse growing up. So I do not have much to base it on. All i know is I am fed up. I know this can not be how normal people live. But he is always telling me how lucky I am. Maybe I am, I just know it does not sit right with me anymore and for the most part with the kids either. I will be sure to look at the links posted.. Thanks again,

Oh, honey, you have been abused (mentally) for a long time. The first weapon of an abuser is to isolate, and that's just what your husband has done. By doing this, he can make you doubt yourself and feel inferior. Please, figure out a way to call an abuse hotline as they are knowledgeable about the why's and how's, and can help you. People here at the KT are VERY supportive!

I see that you have been amember since 2006 so you know how this forum works. My suggestion is no matter where you go online be sure not to give out personal information like real name address city etc phone number. This will be accesible by anyone doing a google search with your name and could cause unwanted problems.
Hope you do find some where that you can be comfortable talking about it.

Just a stupid example from yesterday. He got home from work and decided I have to many TV channels. So he went in the kids rooms took out there boxes then went to the cable company and pretty much took away everything. But had no problem keeping his sports and hunting channels. Yes those all cost extra. So I was angry and just not talking to him. Anyhow a few hours later my daughter told me she was having bad cramps. So went down the road (Her boyfriend drives) to a mobile. so I could get her some midol to hold her over until she could get to a larger store. Well I walk back in and he is accusing me of stealing $10. I was like you are crazy. I used the debit card came to 7.59 Bought the kids and myself a drink also. Still accuses me of taking his $10 now I am crying cause I did not take, But what if I had. So What. Nope wakes up. Hope you enjoy your $10 and leaves, I am always damned if I do or damned if I don`t. Well just thought a better understanding of a normal day could help. Helps me getting it out, so Thank you

Well I guess this is not the best room to chat in. I want to thank everyone who offered help. Thanks again. I guess I need to keep on my search. once again thank you all who offered suggestions and web sites. I am sure one will work.Has to be others out there like me who just need someone to vent and talk too.

I would sugest a lawyer as soon as possible and make sure you are safe and the rest of your family.

Bebet...Sometimes the board here is slow for many reasons...not that you are being ignored. I am 'on the road' and my wifi is not reliable always, and we just landed at a park with wifi after many days without..

So many friends here can be helpful and many have already cautioned you about leaving a "trail that can be followed. Computers are not fool proof or fail-safe. Chat rooms can be dangerous. The KT is possibly an exception as I am sure many others are too. Vent away..but also think about getting touch with a "hot line"....they have people that will talk with you...and listen to you. I think you have taken a courageous first step...for you and your children I hope you will continue to reach out safely. (((Hugs)))) Nanny

You have vented and talked, and you need so much more than a chat room. And now it seems you find us "lacking". Many people made suggestions, which you seem to have dismissed

You're living with an abusive controlling husband. Nothing we can say will do anything about that. Only you can. We can cheer you on, and most of us will be happy to do so. But unless you take some responsibility for your own welfare, no one else can help.

You need to talk to a shelter, and make an escape plan. A shelter will help you with this. You have to make a move. You're the only one who can.

I never meant for it to sound like anyone was lacking with help or responses. Also he does not hit me/never has. I do not need a shelter. I guess what I need is just a place to vent. And yes maybe encouragement. I feel if I could get him into counseling many things would change. He is not a complete Jerk. I often blame his parents. Everything to them always came down to nickles and pennies. He is now the same. But in a sick way. Our home was paid when he was 34 and I was 31. He is a very hard working man. I just feel as he has gotten older it is now a sickness. One I cannot take. This is why I was hoping to vent maybe some advice and maybe not feel so alone. I never meant to make anyone here feel as if they were not helping. If I did, I am very sorry. Maybe this is the place to vent/maybe not I just really need to talk. Days like yesterday were awful. Today not much better other than I can tell he feels bad(well in his clueless way) I just need a place to yell and maybe in time find some advice that can get him help. Although I am more than willing to go with him. But as of late things have gotten so out of hand I no longer know if I want to try. Other than I know I love this man. But I also know he needs help, Just not sure how much more I am willing to take! Just honestly in a very confused place. But once again never meant to make anyone feel like there advice was going on deaf ears. I have taken everything in and looked at links. So once again TY
Oh and by the way sorry I know I ramble. I just have to many things going on at the moment. Also been worried about a few health issues. but have test next week. Another thing I wish he could just understand and be here for me. But for now part of why I am spassy. Just overwhelmed.

I never thought of anyone lacking. I have been reading then re reading. I am sorry if I came across that way. Maybe AS I said for now I just need to vent and talk. If this is not the place tell me. I will not be upset but I never felt anyone was lacking. I know we all have lives. It is almost 12;30 and I need to get of for a few to finish Hubby and kids laundry. So yes I know we all have A life. I am just hoping I am welcome to come vent wine cry maybe. But also make friends. I do need them too. Please just let me know. My feelings will not be hurt if you do not want this type of issue on here. I already know some do not. So please let me know. Last thing I want to do is be the fault of a great board arguing. Honestly I am not WORTH IT. I just though after reading for yrs this may be the place to go. OK rambling sorry. Sleepy. But need to get this last load. Take care all and no worries :)

Bebet, he doesn't have to hit you in order for it to be abuse. Emotional, psychological and financial abuse can occur in a marriage as well; and it certainly seems like that is happening. There must be a shelter in your area, and if so, they probably have a confidential 24 hour phone line for you to call to discuss the situation with a qualified counsellor. I urge you to call, you don't have to provide any identifying information. It's a great first step- no commitment.