When a friend dies suddenly...

15 years ago

How do you wrap your mind around it? Someone very near and dear to me died suddenly. Here one minute, gone the next. It has rattled me to my core. He was 47 years old and seemed to be in remarkably good health.

He was my confidante and a dear friend. Everytime I think about talking to him, I stop and remember that he's gone now and then I start to cry (again). He wasn't someone I saw every day but he was very important and helped me through a very difficult time. For five years, he was a big part of my life.

He was a deeply religious man and lived a very full and active life and was devoted to helping others.

Do you think we leave early when we finish our life's work? Was he ahead of the curve because he was so self-less and devout and devoted? He was surely one of the most loving individuals I ever knew - and the most mentally balanced.

He was such a shining light in this world full of trouble and he really made a difference. Any thoughts or insights would be most welcome. I feel like a fool for being so weepy. I keep wanting to pick up the phone and call him and ask his advice, but I can't. He was always the one I turned to when the waves were too big for me to handle alone.

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Comments (20)

lindyluwho
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. Only the good die young.

Linda
grammahony
15 years ago
Rosemary, don't feel bad for being weepy. Your rock is gone. I'm glad he was there for you when you needed him the most. That itself is a tribute to him and his way of life. Of course your going to miss one of the bright lights in this troubled world. You have good memories of him.
Leslie
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jannie
15 years ago
I'm so sorry you've lost such a dear friend. I had a near-death ecperience seven years ago. I know I lived because my Life's Work wasn't finished yet. Trust that you will see your friend again.
wanda_va
15 years ago
I believe that our days are numbered from the beginning. If it makes you feel better to cry, that's what you should do. We grieve for our loss, rather than for them. While it's hard, we have to remember that they have gone to the special place that we are trying to reach...and someday we will be reunited in paradise.

It's especially hard to lose a loved one suddenly, but it's better than watching them suffer for a long time before passing. My heart goes out to you, and I pray you will find comfort in memories of the friendship you shared. Hugs!
lydia1959
15 years ago
So sorry for your loss. I agree with what Wanda said.. and she said it very, very well.
marilyn_c
15 years ago
I'm so sorry about your friend, Rosemary. I understand what you are going through. I lost one of my best friends almost a year ago...July 10th. She wasn't without health problems, but she was doing well and making plans for the future...and then she was gone. She went to the hospital and called to tell me, but spoke to my husband, and said she'd talk to me the next day. And she died that night.

It's hard to wrap your mind around it. It seemed almost like she was playing a joke on me because she was so funny and always made me laugh. I have had a hard time accepting it....because it was so sudden.

I know you will have an empty spot for a long, long time.
I am so very sorry.
petaloid
15 years ago
I am sorry to hear of your loss.

A friend at my workplace passed away unexpectedly last year. It took some time for it to sink in -- I would catch myself looking for him, expecting to hear his voice greeting me. I'm sure that is a normal part of the grieving process.

It will sink in, eventually, and you will come to terms with it. Hang in there!
liz
15 years ago
Wanda said it perfect...I'm so sorry for your loss Rose...we are blessed to have good friends in our lives and when they're taken from us so unexpectedly it rips us to our core...My heartfelt sympathies to you...
yvonnekate
15 years ago
No one EVER can be prepared or want to say goodbye. But it is not in our hands. I just read, "Mistaken Identity " about 2 young girls who were in a tragic van accident. Very religious, etc. It put some perspective on life in general. If you read, you might enjoy it. Tissues required.
clubm
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also agree with Wanda. In
time you will come to terms with the death of your friend.
In the mean time you must go thru the grieving process to
get there. Your in my thoughts.
tami_ohio
15 years ago
Rosemary, you have my sympathy and are in my prayers.

Tami
Jamie_MS
15 years ago
Wanda said exactly what I wanted to say.

(((Rosemary)))
socks
15 years ago
What a terrible loss for you. I'm so sorry. We often think of what it would be like to lose precious family members, but losing a beloved friend is just as difficult. Keep the good memories close at heart.
ont_gal
15 years ago
An angel in your lifetime...and now an angel to watch over you...hugs.
kayjones
15 years ago
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband (and best friend) a year ago, to cancer. I STILL haven't 'accepted' that he's gone. I STILL turn to the phone to call and tell him something. I STILL start to call him to dinner. I KNOW he died, but my mind hasn't accepted it yet. It takes time - you must go through the grieving process - you will think of him every minute of every day, for a long time to come. Please take one day at a time and take care of yourself.
lynne_melb
15 years ago
Rosemary, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
okwriter
15 years ago
Sign my name to Wanda's post. I know from experience it is hard to lose someone suddenly, especially at such a young age.
country_bumpkin_al
15 years ago
I also am very sorry for your loss! As you probably know, I lost my husband on June 21st and I can only share with you what a friend (her name is Rose also) told me. We are all born with a limited amount of oil in our lamps..when the oil is gone, the light is gone.

This isn't the 1st time in my life I've saddled up and rode this horse named Grief. I have no idea how long the journey will be and I know it won't be easy....but I also know I'm not riding alone!

(((((Rosemary)))))
rosemaryt
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. Somehow, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one struggling with grief. When it happens to you, it feels so isolating and lonely.

Thanks again for the many kind comments.
User
15 years ago
Rosemary, I am feeling your pain right now. It was time for your friend to return home. I believe you will see him again along with other friends and family. It's okay to cry and miss him. In time your tears will be replaced with many fond memories that bring you comfort.

((((((((((((((Rosemary))))))))))))))

My heartfelt sympathy goes to you at this difficult time.
Peggy

When a friend dies suddenly...

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