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The Kitchen Table

Went to See My Uncle Yesterday

15 years ago

or rather my DB and our spouses all did. He and my aunt live in the same house that they bought over 60 years ago. He'll soon be 90 and she's a couple of years older, I think. (Never heard how much older! LOL)

He's gotten to where, healthwise, he hasn't gotten to come "home" (back where he was raised) in a year or so, so we decided we needed to go see him. He and my DB talk on the phone a couple of times a week, or more.

When we left, my DB got up in the front seat with Twinkie and I could see him wiping tears like crazy from his eyes. He's really aged since we'd seen him last and it hurts. Nobody said a word and just gave him time to get it together on the way home. He's a very private person and it would have killed him for us to even comment about the tears.

He's our last uncle left from my dad's side of the family. There were ten sons. Told my DSIL that when he dies, my DB and I are not only gonna be mourning him, but all of the others, including our daddy. (My mom is the only one left on her side.)

It's sad to see all of the older generation die and leave us.

If you have older relatives that you care about, (or maybe not! LOL) a reminder to go and see them before it's too late.

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Comments (10)

liz
15 years ago
awww YA YA....that's so nice that ya'll went to see him...We can learn so much from our relatives and we're not given the guarantee of tomorrow...
gazania_gw
15 years ago
Good advice and so sad that we often get so caught up in our daily lives that we forget about how special having family is. That is why, no matter what, I go the 120 miles each Labor Day to my Mom's family reunion. Of the eleven 'originals', there is only 2 of Mom's siblings left. Those people were a big part of my life growing up, and are still special to me.
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grammahony
15 years ago
I agree Ya Ya. On my dad's side I have 2 aunts left. One in Sioux Falls, SD, and the other in Green Valley AZ. mom's the only one left on her side now that my uncle passed away on May 3. We'd just gone to see him two days before. I know my Mom feels better, knowing he knew we were there, even though he was in a lot of pain and on meds.
Yes, it is very sad to lose our aunts and uncles. I'm so thankful I still have my mom.
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FlamingO in AR
15 years ago
I'm glad you went, YaYa and I hope you get to see them again soon! It's so hard to watch our loved ones age.
gadgets
15 years ago
I'm glad your family went to see them. This way you won't be left with the "I wish I had" syndrome.

In 2005, I arranged a family reunion for my Mom's side of the family in June. We hadn't had one for about 8 years. By this time, Mom was the last alive of her generation and was in poor health. I've been so glad that I did it, as she passed away in Dec of that year.

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summer_tx
15 years ago
Very good advice. I know your uncle loved getting to see each of you YaYa. I'm so glad you all were able to make the trip and spend some time with him.
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
I learned the hard way not to put off for too long visiting people you care about. Which reminds me, I need to call my great aunt Malene in AL. Haven't talked to her in months.
marilyn_c
15 years ago
Ya Ya, you are so right. I wish I had kept closer contact with my brother who passed away last Christmas. He was almost 84 and lived in Indiana. I hadn't seen him since '72.
He was so deaf tho, you couldn't talk to him on the phone any more, altho we used to talk often when my mother was still alive. It's hard to put into words how much I miss him and my biggest regret is that he probably never had any idea.
dirt_yfingernails
15 years ago
Sadly, our older family generation is all gone, lost when my Mom died in 1995.
joyfulguy
15 years ago
How important it is to keep in touch with loved ones.

Perhaps especially as they age.

As someone said, we don't know how many more times the opportunity may be available ... but that's true for everyone, even younger ones, though they "disappear" less frequently.

Someone spoke of how hard it is to see our loved ones age, and in a way that's true ... but I think that we should not let ourselves get sort of bent out of shape over it, for it's part of the ongoing drama of life.

Also ... to try to stop it is a fruitless enterprise: there are things that we can do something about, and things that we can't, so there's little value/future in fretting about the impossibles.

ole joyful

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