Not sure what your funeral homes are in Canada, but here in ND, we have a excellent one where we can go for advice even out of the area. Do you have a Pastor/Priest to help? Other than that, I would suggest going to a funeral home in your town for advice and they could contact one in the town your father lived in. Also the social services in a hospital might be able to help.
I am sorry for the loss of your father.

I don't know how much help I am but I would think that as far as the funeral arrangements go, the funeral coordinators are really really helpful and they will know what to do. I would just call them and they will probably more help in 5 minutes than you can imagine. I'm sure this isn't anything new to have people out of town.

As far as your father's home goes, you will not be able to do anything with the home as far as selling it until the Will goes through probate. In my Father's case it took over 6 months, some states it can take a lot longer. I was told that here in Ohio it will take 1 1/2 years to go through probate.

Susan, if you have a family funeral director you might want to talk to them. They have an invaluable network and may be able to help you out.

I am so very sorry for your loss, and hope that you and your brother find comfort and strength together during this time.

I have no advice for you different from what has already been suggested. What's been said sounds reasonable and doable.

You have my sympathy and prayers.
Mona

Sorry for your loss. I can imagine you are in shock right now. You can make arrangements as simple or involved as you want depending on his circumstances. Funerals are more for the living. If the death was unexpected, then an autopsy may be required. If you do not know his circle of friends, and you are the closest relative, you may find it easiest to keep things simple. Funeral costs can escalate quickly otherwise. If your father was elderly, you may find that his friends really prefer something simple as their mobility can be problematic. You will not be pressured at a funeral home if you choose minimal services - at least our family hasn't been.

When my FIL passed unexpectantly when we were in Chicago on vacation with him , we walked as strangers into a funeral home. Cremation with no service was arranged. Even though we had enough money to cover this in cash, they refused payment. They insisted on us paying by bill later. even though we were out of the country. They never asked for proof of who we were. we visited their home just prior to his life support being removed

Sorry for your loss. Did your father have a minister with whom he was close? S/He could be a lot of help. Dealing with funeral homes generally is pretty simple by phone. Don't let them talk you into more than you want though. Every time I've dealt with one they keep pushing the front of the book stuff, add on all kinds of "options" that weren't wanted and overpriced and yes there was pressure with the "you want your loved one to have the best don't you? A couple dollars isn't going to make you want to appear cheap to the friends and family..." They're sales people, not much different than car jockeys.

Regulations vary. Around here if the death is unattended, an autopsy is required. But unless you have some religious beliefs to the contrary, you don't have to rush things. A few days won't make much difference. Here, embalming is customary but not required if they're buried in a certain time frame.

Notify the mortgage company *immediately* and also notify the utility companies, any credit card companies, banks and debtors ASAP. Generally they're pretty good with working with estates and understand payments might be late so they often will waive off late fees.

There's a lot of help on the internet for reminders on things to do, checklists and the like. They might be some help.

Here is a link that might be useful: What to do when a loved one dies

Susan, I am so sorry. You have my condolences.

Regarding funeral arrangements, contact one of the funeral homes where you live because many of them belong to a group of funeral homes that might have one where your Dad lives. You can also check online - just put the name of a funeral home where you live and see if they have one there. They then could make the arrangements from where you live.

Hugs

Anne

Also was your Father a Canadian veteran? If so go online Veterans Affairs Canada and they might cover some of the funeral costs I believe. I have a link on my FB page for Veterans Affairs.

Susan, just in case you want an idea of the cost we did not have a funeral service for my Sister but she was cremated and for just the basics - no urn, fibre board coffin the cost was over $4000.00

I'm sorry for your loss.

Is there a chance that he might have already planned what he wanted when he died? Maybe he left paperwork with an attorney, friend or neighbor.

I would identify a funeral home in his town and call them. They will be able to talk you through some things on the phone. When my mother died she lived in the same city as me but the funeral would be out of town. I just called the funeral home and they took care of me both over the phone and when I finally got there in person. It was a big relief to talk to them as I'd never had to plan a funeral before and had no idea what was involved or what to do.

I have no advice for you, but wanted to send my sympathy for the loss of your father.

Susan, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Good advice above. Sending sympathy to you and your brother.

Oh, Susan...my heart is breaking for you! I'm soooo sorry! Hugs and prayers for strength are coming your way BIG TIME.

Rita

I would say you got some great advice here already. I'm very sorry for the loss of your father. I pray your family can find strength and peace.

I'm so sorry, Susan. You have my sympathy and prayers. I have no advice other than what has already been given.

Tami

I'm very sorry to hear that your father passed away. (((Susan)))

I'm so sorry for your loss, what a shock this must be for you.

My advice is to take one step at a time, funeral first then settle the house issues.

Can you call a funeral home in the city he lived in? I'm sure they've dealt with this sort of thing many times.

Give yourself a chance to let this all sink in and allow yourself to grieve and things will fall into place.

Try not to blame yourself for not being able to get him moved somewhere else. We had a similar situation with my mother, it's not pleasant, but sometimes things are just out of our hands. (((hugs))))

A lot of good advice given here. I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much everyone. The information everyone provided here is very helpful. I'm going to start tackling stuff today. We could not get him to talk about a will or POA in the last couple of years, but my sister in law seems to remember him having one made up several years ago. I doubt a copy is in his house, and I don't know which lawyer he used. I'm not sure what to do about that part... I guess it will all work out somehow. I'll contact the mortgage company, the utility companies and all the other places today. I think we're going to see about having him cremated there, sent here and we'll have a service here. It's easier for my brothers to come here for a service, and we don't really know anyone there.

I am sorry for your loss. If your brother was very close to him, he may have the information you need.

So sorry,yes a funeral home helps you alot,Id also get an attorney ,hell help alot too,youll need to settle the estate.Attorney will help you do that.Did he have a will?

So sorry for your loss. Talk to your family they might offer a bit of help.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Susan.

May I suggest having a celebration of life at your home? We have found that meaningful in our family. It can be an informal get together for your close family and friends and just as meaningful as funeral home visits. The timing is more flexible and does not need to be immediate.

Also get more death certificates than you think you will need. Even the post office will require one in order to forward his mail. Bell Canada arranged to have my mothers calls forwarded to my phone with no charge. Even Readers Digest wanted a death certificate to cancel a subscription!

Ah Susan this is so hard, I know. I remember walking around and feeling like a zombie when my Dad passed away. Try to take it day by day.
As for the funeral arrangements, definitely contact a local funeral home here. They most likely belong to a group of homes that service towns across country. They will know exactly what needs to be done and will ease your stress level!
Take care and HUGS.

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your Father. It sounds like you have gotten a lot of good advice, hope it all works out well for your family.

Sue

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Everyone has given you lots of good advice. First call should be made to a local funeral home, the first choice would be one locally owned as they are usually more personable and they are not the "salesmans" as someone stated. Funeral homes owned by corporations teach their funeral directors to sell sell sell. And the homes owned by an individual will be less pushy....and by all means don't be afraid to ask quesions and say no if you don't agree with what they want you to do. Locally owned directors know how to reach other funeral directors in other towns and make long distance arrangements just as well as a corporation, and more likely are less expensive as well. Don't know the laws in the area he is in, but ask if it is required for him to be embalmed in order to be cremated, if he doesn't that can save you a substantial amount of money.

Losing a father is really hard. Sending you a hug. As for the will, your father should have been given a copy of it. You may have to phone your father's lawyer or phone the lawyers in your father's area to find out about the will. I don't know if there is a central registry for wills or not. Since your father has a mortgage on the house, the lawyer's name will be on that and perhaps that is the same lawyer that your father also used to do the will. The deed for the house is at the registry office too and that will have the name of the lawyer on it too.

The government will pay some of the cost up to $2500 and the funeral home has those applications and will fill it out for you.

I agree, get extra copies of the death certificate. The funeral home will give you extra copies if you run out.

When my Mom died, she was cremated, but we had a Celebration of Life instead and took all of her artist friends out to lunch. Both of us lived in another city from our Mom and this was the perfect solution. Since our Mom wasn't religious, it was what she would have wanted instead of a service.

Take time to recover emotionally before tackling the difficult tasks. Most things can wait for a bit.

Just a hug and my sympathy to you and your family (((Susan))).

I know you're grateful for the advice given here. The KT Family is the best at times like this.

Thinking of you,

Lana

my dad was creamated per his wishes altho he also had a masonic service...it was held at the funeral home and they disposed of his ashes as mother asked, in the desert...

when mother passed we did the same thing, creamation but no service per her wishes..my dh, children and their spouses went to dinner at her favorite place.

in deference to her family (at the time 2 remaining brothers) we split her ashes for hometown, and the rest in the desert, sort of joining my dad...

my half sister and bil had more formal services, since they'd been so active in the town they lived in. niece had cremation, and internment...

the bill was $3000, here in mi...

you need about 3-4 copies of death cert. i had to use them to close accts, social security (usa) ect..i do hope your dad had a will.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Susan. It sounds like you and your brother have a good plan and hopefully you can find someone helpful in your dad's town to advise. I would imagine you're still in shock, which makes it hard to think straight.

Wow, that is a tough discovery. Sjerin is right, shock. Was your father a church member? Churches always know what to do.

Hi Susan,

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It resally does hurt to lose a parent, as there are so many strings of connection with them.

If you are not interested in a substantial service or other funeral arrangments, if you look in your local phone book you may find that there is a memorial society in your area. They arrange inexpensive funerals. There are such groups in various localities and there may be one in your father's community as well as in yours, and they liaise with one another, I think.

Do you know whether your father had some friends in his community? If so, and they might like to remember him in a social way, perhaps you could arrange for a gathering in a local church or legion hall, or one operated by another community-based agency. There wouldn't be any urgency about such a gathering: it could be held in a week or so, or a month, if you were to feel that such were indicated.

(((((Susan and family)))))

ole joyful

Sorry I'm not posting much, but I'm reading. I appreciate the advice and support a lot, and the advice is very helpful. I've been busy with p/c's and appointments, and I'm also very tired. I'd been feeling great until earlier this week when I felt very ill; also my head and ear hurt a lot. I'm glad I posted here, I knew you peeps would know what to do!

Deepest sympathy, Susan. Also...dare I suggest that YOU don't have to handle *everything* here? Hmm?

I am so very sorry. I know you love your Dad and want to honor him - as many have already said a funeral director can be of tremendous help. They see so many situations and can be of great help.

Take care of yourself - try and get sleep; take a walk where you find comfort - it will clear your head and give you strength.

Susan...I am so sorry to hear of your fathers death.Please make sure to take care of yourself and try not to overdo it.Make sure to plenty of rest.I wish I was closer to help you.

SHelley