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The Kitchen Table

No Wonder Men Are Happier!

15 years ago

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

--Your last name stays put.

--The garage is all yours.

--Wedding plans take care of themselves.

--Chocolate is just another snack.

--You can never be pregnant.

--You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

--You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

--Car mechanics tell you the truth.

--The world is your urinal.

--You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

--You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

--Same work, more pay.

--Wrinkles add character.

--Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100.

--People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

--New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

--One mood all the time.

--Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

--A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

--You can open all your own jars.

--You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

--If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

--Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

--Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

--You almost never have strap problems in public.

--You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

--Everything on your face stays its original color..

--The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

--You only have to shave your face and neck.

--You can play with toys all your life.

-One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

--You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..

--You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

--You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

--You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

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Comments (17)

jannie
15 years ago
How true!
patti43
15 years ago
Amen. Plus dinner is magically on the table every night and they never have to worry about dirty clothes. If we weren't around, they'd just pick up whatever's cleanest off the floor.

(Have to say Harry does find the clothes hamper.)
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Georgysmom
15 years ago
Amen.
Chi
15 years ago
Hmm I'm female and most of those apply to me as well. :) I love being independent!
ronf_gw
15 years ago
A lot of truth there.

Ron
joyfulguy
15 years ago
Where do these folks find all of that stuff??

ole joyful
cynic
15 years ago
--You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
--You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Ahem... I'm not going to be accused of discrimination. I can think of a *number* of women whom I'd welcome wearing a t-shirt to the water park or not if they so choose...

And I've always found happiness in being able to change clothes in less than an hour! Or bust out laughing if I let one rip rather than busting out in tears.
Jasdip
Original Author
15 years ago
LOL Cynic!

On the other hand......there are a LOT of men who should NOT go shirtless, or get a t-shirt wet!!!
joann23456
15 years ago
I'm with Chi88 - I'm a woman and many (most?) of those things apply to me, too. Painful shoes, overpacking, and a bag for every day of the week? No thanks!
lynn_d
15 years ago
whoever wrote that has never met my husband!!!!
ronf_gw
15 years ago
Geez, I love being a guy; for all the reasons listed above.

Ron
chisue
15 years ago
Men can even loose weight more easily because they're bigger. When a man exercises he burns more calories to move his greater mass.

Since they ARE stronger, shouldn't they do more of the gardening and housework that requires large muscle movement? Hmmm?
ronf_gw
15 years ago
chisue, when I read your first sentence I missed the m on the last word. Thanks for the chuckle.

Ron
cynic
15 years ago

I probably should get out the riding mower and do some "gardening". Kind of enjoy it a lot of times.
Amazing Aunt Audrey
15 years ago
ROTFLMAO
chisue
15 years ago
ron -- Is this another thing to add to the list? I have to wonder if any *females* reading here saw it that way! lol
Happyladi
15 years ago
My husband and I both had a good laugh reading the list.

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