We have Shenandoah cabinets which are the AW line sold by Lowe's (they're basically identical to the HD line except for a few variations in door styles, stains and glazes). If you have a Lowe's nearby I encourage you to compare quotes at both places and see what specials they're running (things like giftcards or free sink bases) since the cabs are basically the same (as long as the door you want isn't exclusive to HD). We ordered our cabs at the beginning of Nov 2006 and had them by the 2nd week of December. They actually have several factories around the country. We were able to check the status of our order online during the whole process. Our cabinets also arrived in excellent condition. We did have one door that was not to our satisfaction due to a large streak/knot on one stile. It was replaced quickly and without issue. We also misplaced some of the hardware for one of the wall cabs and they sent us 2 sets free (even though we were clear that we had lost it). LMK if you want to see pics. We have the Breckenridge door in Maple Spice (it has a different name at HD but its the basic narrow-not wide-frame shaker door).

We have American Woodmark from HD. We like them alot and get plenty of compliments. We bought the drawers with the soft close feature and installed our own soft close blumotion on the doors since this was not an option when we bought our cabs in 2006 (but installed last year). I would highly recommend the soft close to help with the slamming issue which will provide longevity too. It's my favorite thing in my new kitchen. The finish is nice, and so far, the cabinets are holding up very well, though it's only been a year. We have the maple with moca glaze and they didn't overdo the glaze which is nice. Because it's just DH and I, we didn't need to spend mega $$ for top of the line cabs, nor would we. We did have a few doors that weren't to my liking, but all I did was call the store and informed them which ones needed replacing, and they were shipped and received within 7-10 days. No biggy. I don't remember how long the cabinet order took to come in but from order to delivered it wasn't long at all...just a few weeks, 4-6 at the most. I'd buy them again.

I'll chime in! We are in the process of installing, right now, Krafmaid cabinets. We have simple shaker style cabinets (Hayward, also called Putnam) in cherry with honey spice stain. This stain really is light and just evens out the tone some. We even (horrors!) got them from Home Depot. So far, they're fantastic. Truly. We had an absolutely amazing and creative KD from Home Depot. We were lucky and were able to use the KD that some friends had used for multiple projects -- after they "interviewed" probably a dozen KDs from different Home Depots, Lowe's and smaller companies in the area. She is really great and was able to know when to incorporate bath cabs in a few limited places so that the sizing would do what we wanted. I think getting a creative and experienced KD is key, and we were VERY lucky to find her. We are still installing, but have unpacked everything. We have one door that needs to be replaced due to a crack in the joint, and one with glass that the glass has a tiny crack. This is no problem and we'll just switch out those doors. All the cabinet boxes have been perfect (square, plumb, in perfect condition). Once you receive the cabs, you have 90 days to let them know of any issues. So far, our KD and Kraftmaid have been wonderful. The cabs are very solid and the finish is great. The wood is fairly consistent and we only have one stile that I would consider to be a lesser cherry than a true mid-level cherry. But it's not all that noticeable and I think is reflective of using real wood. I don't know anything about American Woodmark, but our KD recommended Kraftmaid as she said they're very responsive and easy to work with. So far, she's been right. We did upgrade to all plywood boxes, soft close on all doors and drawers, and a few other bells and whistles. I just wanted to chime in because I know KM gets bashed a bunch, but so far, our experience has been great. And they look great!

To me... the tone of your post already states your preference. There is no reason you should go with something you already question the wisdom of. Your custom quote is still a very resonable cost so don't feel you need to justify being "overly extravagent". I'm sure there have been many people who are happy with their American Woodmark cabs and the service they received at HD. As long as the extra $$ doesn't impede your ability to do what you need to take care of your family and still allows you enough $$ (and dont' forget to calculate in 30% overages for yet to be seen issues)for all the other fun stuff (countertops, backsplash, lighting); I would just go with what I want. If you were talking about a 10-20K difference; that would be a different story for me... at least for me and my budget.