Wow pbrisjar, I know what you mean about tip toeing around tools, paint cans and whatever gets thrown into the mix. Good for you, I'm sure it will help make life a little bit easier.

I've read several times where you had mentioned that you gave into something that DH really wanted, and you've been less than thrilled with the decision. You're right, home has to be home for everyone. Good luck with the cabinet re-do, that's hard work, but in the end if you're happier, I'm sure it will be worth it.

Thanks. I'm hoping the cab redo won't be too, too difficult. Fortunately the doors and drawer fronts have not yet been done so it's just the boxes and crown moulding I'll have to contend with. There are also areas where I can test things without too much disruption, which will help.

Hubby doesn't know what he's in for tonight.

Here is a link that might be useful: The thread over on woodworking

I read the thread regarding the boxes, you really have your hands full with that. I've worked with wood a little bit and the only way I think you can start with a clean slate is you'll have to sand them down and start over, which would probably be a bad idea since the there are so many coats and the wood is only so thick.

That said, one option you might want to consider is to use the same stain you have used so far on the drawers & doors (so they all match) and tweek everything from there. Have you considered glazing them with a darker colored glaze? I'd play with that option before deciding to sand everything down.

Another viable option that comes to mind (but may not suite your taste at all) is to paint them an off white and put a pewter glaze on them. That, IMHO would look awesome with your granite and paint color. It will be interesting to see what kind of response your inquiry gets in the wood working forum, I have my fingers crossed they can offer better solutions or at least something you'll find helpful.

Good Luck with DH tonight. Sometimes it's hard to find middle ground, but if it's any consolation, my DH read your post(s) and said to tell you, he agrees that if you're the cook, then the kitchen should be done in a way that will make you happy. (LOL His philosophy is happy cook = yummy dinners!)

Painting isn't really an option as I made a big deal out of wanting to show the wood. (We had actually originally planned to paint but then I changed my mind when I saw the beautiful wood). I'm not really a fan of white cabinets, either. Though in other circumstances I agree with you. White with a pewter glaze would be great with the other choices.

As has been the story all along, other things got in the way of making any kind of progress on the kitchen tonight. *sigh*

:c( You know, I totally get how you feel. After DIYing for 2.5 years on our first (and like you, probably only) house, a fixer foreclosure home DH is burned out. We took a couple of months off from any kind of weekend warrior projects and now I can't get him motivated again. No matter how much I plan or organize to get the painting done, crown moulding up, or even the last 2 pieces of wood flooring laid in front of the doors, my plans get tossed at the last minute in exchange for something else.

Too bad about the off white, but glad you agree it would look awesome. Don't give up....good luck!

pb,
I'm sorry you are going through this. Great idea about taking control of the things you can control. Perhaps getting things cleaned up will help your DH get on the bandwagon for fixing up the space sooner. I hope you can get him on board for switching up the cabinet color. I had a very similar problem with ALL of the woodwork in my house. I picked the stain, (I was 22 and DUMB!) and he stained ALL of the woodwork before I saw it..man, it was ORANGE and orange could be. Finally after about 10 years he agreed to paint. Nine years later we're still painting woodwork.

Anyway, I wish you luck. It is so much easier when, as my mom says, the man "gives in to the POWER!". LOL....

Beth

PJ: I read all of your threads and looked at your kitchen pics. If it's any consolation - I agree with you. The sample is not what you got, and the darker brownish stain would look oodles better.

Since you wrote this post on Monday - I would be curious for an update on what hubby's reaction was/is.

Good luck honey - take control!

Boxie

PS. I am with you 1000% on keeping the "jobsite" tidy and respecting that it's a jobsite, but it's still your HOME and you need to keep it that way.

Don't get me wrong - Hubby has been working hard on this. BUT he is also responsible for health care advocacy for his mother, father and disabled brother and they're all going through major issues right now. We're also neck-deep in a long, drawn-out civil suit. In fact that's what we were dealing with last night.

Then we have the fact that Hubby is extremely meticulous and exacting. AND I've just changed jobs which has thrown my schedule off...

Put that together with major scope creep and there goes any kind of schedule.

Yeah, there are things that could (and I'd prefer to be) re-prioritized but Hubby is definitely not slacking or delaying on the project. Life has just had other plans for us.

boxiebabe - thanks for the vote of confidence on the color change. There have been times when I thought I was being unreasonable as everyone else seems to think it's OK.

Oh dear, you have my biggest hugs coming from alaska (and if that dosen't make you shiver nothing will..it's below 20 today!)

I moved back into the house, after being sick and tired of the rental wreck just a week and a half ago. I totally agree with you about getting the construction crap out of your life. I had agreed that the contractor could store his "stuff" in the dining room. Two days into living here I said "screw that" and moved it ALL into the garage. I need to be comfortable in my house...not him, especially since he's the slowest contractor in america (good but slow) and if he had it his way, the dining room would never be mine!

I put all the drawers he'd removed back in place and filled them. Screw making the workers happy...I live here and I deserve to LIVE here!

When he comes back next week I'm sure he won't be thrilled, but sheesh, I have a two year old in the house, and my mom is visiting, so it's bad enough that the freaking place still isn't done, but we're NOT going to have tools and wood scattered hither and whatever else goes with hither!

Yon. It's hither and yon, Igloo. ;o)

I hear ya on the construction crap removal. Finally got my dining room back and now it's scattered with kid's book report project crap though. Sigh.

PB, you make me want to shout TAWANDA!!! Hang in there girl!

i-chic: Glad to hear your in your home and taking occupancy. I can understand about the relatives visiting. We had my parents, my sister ahd her husband visiting us back when we didn't even have a kitchen counter or any functional sink other than the one on the bathroom.

Tawanda indeed, rmlanza - I just have to figure out the *when*.

pbrisjar... I empathize with you regarding "negotiations" with your DH. I too, have driven myself crazy and we're just at the plan a layout stage. We too plan to DIY to whatever extent is possible/reasonable. It's at the point that I just plan and no longer share since my guy can only see what is immediately in front of him and sees no point in planning beyond. He too is very exacting, level headed, and unlike yours painfully SLOW. Thank goodness we don't live in the house we're going to at some point in time ... remodel. Part of the problem is I think he has a different sense of the whole space time continuium then I do. For him, "now", means any time within the next month. I'm hoping that when things actually start moving forward; he'll get into it.

So... hang in there and be grateful that you recognized your "mistake" on the stain before your doors were done. It won't be that bad of a fix.

I keep telling my boys that when they find the girl they're going to marry that they should remember a few things. When a woman asks you to do something; they generally mean "now please"... not football minutes... real time minutes. And when it comes to decorating; if they dont' have a strong opinion then the only other opinion is "yes dear... whatever you want". My future daugther-in-laws should love me!

remodelfla - I've been following your layout threads and your negotiations with your guy and rooting you on.

I sure wish my Hubby had that "yes Dear" training. Sadly, I think he skipped that day.

Of course, I have realized that if I'm going to fix the ugly stain on my cabs that I can't clean and fill them - at least not until the sanding is done. Yargh.

I know that eventually things will be resolved and everything will turn out OK. I just wish it would happen sooner.

We pooped out DIY too and aren't nearly as far as we want to be and getting motivated with other life stuff is hard. We moved into our not done kitchen very quickly - it's fine, go for it. Move all his tools and everything out every time he moves them in - I just move them back to the basement or another part of the living room or another room and always do the clean up. We have a little shop vac that is amazing - the stinger from Home Depot - their filters are really cheap so you can change often... just put paper down on the floors when that is an issue - either in the painting, flooring or roofing section - big rolls of butcher paper in tan or red for $10 and seal with $1 tape from the dollar store (seams touching each other) or masking tape (where you want it removable). And, seal quickly when it tears or do a patch as it will. Also, now Home Depot sells those zippers to make doors for plastic if you are sanding in the house which are great (we bought our first set at a speciality store). But, do move in - we lived for months in a half done kitchen and before that for a 1 1/2 with horrible kitchen as we ripped most of it out when we moved in and I refused to unpack or use it so all we had was our microwave cart as storage and the sink base for cleaning supplies. And, DIYing for the kitchen we had a plywood floor for months as I couldn't decide on the vinyl so we went to Home Depot to get something cheap to throw down till I picked out my dream floor and I refused to leave till I picked something - 2 hours later I did and it was only $50 and I actually liked it so it stays . Hang in there!! You're not alone... our house is interesting looking.

Igloochic: Hither goes with thither, as in hither (to this place) and thither (to that place). Strange old words.

I agree that it is very healthy for your mind to reclaim your space. Remodeling is so stressful and you need to do whatever you can to deal with it.

So, talked to Hubby this am over breakfast (banana pancakes and bacon cooked on my griddle). While he's not too thrilled with the idea of essentially undoing his work, we are going to work out something. We were actually able to narrow down the problem so it may not be as complicated as glazing all the cabinets.

For some reason, the upper cabs turned out OK (not quite the color I wanted but they look decent). It's the lower ones that are at issue. So we're going to leave the uppers alone (at least for now) and try a few things with the lowers. That actually solves one of my worries - the crown moulding. It's rather detailed and having to sand/glaze/sand/seal/sand that would be a real pain.

In the meantime I'm tackling cleaning and organizing this weekend.

Yeah! Well, at least you found a good middle ground and it sounds like you'll be able to work it out team style instead of on your own. That's going to make it easier too. I know what you mean about other things in life getting in the way, my DH isn't motivated because he's had a really heavy work schedule and there are just too many things to juggle. Fingers are crossed that whatever you end up doing with the bottom cabs morphs into something you'll like. Keep us posted!!!

pbrisjar,

It sounds like you are asserting some control over your kitchen! Good for you girl! I think DIY on a tight budget can be one of the hardest tests for a marriage. I bumped into a friend at the store who said she'd just finished a DIY kitchen and she loved it. While talking, I said you loved it, cuz you paid other people to do it for you AND she had no snags at all! (Everyone's idea of DIY is different!:>) We are totally renovating our house from top to bottom, and other than installation of the hardwood floor, granite, windows, and the gasline, we've done it ALL ourselves. That isn't even the hardest part, the hardest is trying to do the best job for the least amount of money. Juggling what you really want with what you can really afford is much harder than the actual work.

Perhaps a useful exercise might be for you guys to each write down a list of priorities, and then come to some consensus on what will be done, and in what order. My DH is like yours in that it doesn't bother him to have paint cans in DR, screws and baseboards on kitchen counter, tape and level and tools on buffet in LR, window trim leaning against wall in BR, etc. His 'mess tolerance' is so much higher than mine, it's like talking to someone from a different planet (Mars perhaps?)

Sure hope your stain issue gets resolved- we hired a carpenter to finish up the last parts of our kitchen cabinets, and an estimated 10 day job has taken 2 months, and we just got an email last Tuesday, saying that the first coat of finish had an adverse reaction to the stain, and that they had to sand everything off and start over. This is one time I'm glad we paid someone else...wouldn't want to be doing this ourselves. So, I feel your pain!

We actually do have the list of priorities. The things is, as I'm sure you know, there are also those lists of dependencies. Stove functional is a high priority but that can't happen at least until the backsplash is in and the rewiring is done. I'd like my floor done but that won't happen until some time down the line when we can clear out the two rooms that we're going to do at the same time...

Hubby is working on getting the drawer boxes done. Once those are in I'll be able to pretty much move back into the kitchen. There will still be things that need to be done but they're mostly on the cosmetic side.

This weekend I completely cleaned out and reorganized the pantry. I also got rid of a lot of the construction debris that's been hanging out forever. I am also working on reclaiming the counter tops.

Today I made chili from scratch (as opposed to from a can like we've been eating). Sure, I cooked on the grill rather than on a stove but the chili sure did taste good.

Sometimes, when I look at all the work that is still to be done (the kitchen is just the first room - eventually the whole house will be changed and we're adding on a ~400 sqft great room) and wonder when we'll be past all the mess and chaos. I just try to remind myself that in the end it will be worth it. The kitchen is already much, much better than it used to be.

Well, on its way to dead.

Tonight, I picked up a piece of sandpaper to get rid of some gunked-on stain and poly in a few spots (around the old, now being replaced drawer slides). Hubby, who was also in the kitchen removing the remainder of the aforementioned old slides said: "Why don't you go ahead and sand down the whole frame." So I did. The ugly yellow stain is going, going, gone! I've got a bunch more to do but it's going pretty quick.

It feels so good to get rid of the yellow - almost as good as it felt to get rid of the original really dark and horrible poorly done varnish over original stain that was on the cabs when I moved in. So more sanding and cleanup and then we get to experiment with new stain.

Congrats on going forward w/removing the stain on the base cabinets!

Well my fingers are raw and my arms ache, but Hubby and I got the lower cabs sanded down this weekend. I am so, so glad we did this! Somehow, the cherry stain left this soft, subtle coloring to the original Ash that is absolutely gorgeous. It looks perfect with our floor and granite. So we're not going to re-stain. Just going to seal with a water-based poly and call it done (provided the Ash doesn't go yellow with the poly). Of course this means that when we get to the doors, we'll have to re-create the process but that's not any more work than staining and sealing - just a bit more tricky.

For now we're planning on leaving the top cabs stained. I think it looks good but that may change once the doors go on.

Was too dark last night to take any pics so you'll just have to wait until the poly is on. Here's a pic of my kids instead:

Aw, I love the doggies!! I have two long coated chihuahias too. They are the greatest!

I am really glad your cabinet problems are getting resolved. No one should have to live in a brand new kitchen that they hate. I can't wait to see the pictures!!