I'd say, "Haven't you heard? Pottery is THE thing on the kitchen forum. I'm finally in style! Since the Salvation Army will be out of it, in no time, you'd better run down and get some, while you can."

Let me guess...you're prettier, thinner and smarter than she is...or she wouldn't be so insecure and make these comments, right? :)

I should say that I am focusing my frusterated energy into learning to laugh at her ways. Luckily my hubby knows how difficult she is so he understands my frusteration and appreciates my efforts to keep my mouth shut and my attempts to refrain from administering that smack she deserves.

Since no one is doing it anymore, maybe you will find a rare, original Shiva Vase from the Memphis Group that you can display prominently, or even give to your SIL.

Here is a link that might be useful: Shiva Vase

Ha! It took me a second to realize what I was looking at palimpsest. I was looking at it thinking "what an oddly shaped vase"... then it hit me.

Perfect!

now now.

But Tracy, I'll bite: what's "FML"?

And without trying to sound too un-sympathetic, know that the inverse is worse. Almost all of dh's family is dead; there aren't any in-laws. Very few cousins. I know they're aggravating -- even the few I have certainly are! But it's worse with none.

I love GD's solution. It's a teensy bit like mine. Oh-so-many-years-ago I gave my sil a soap dispenser for her birthday -- pottery. She never opened the box. She "doesn't like presents, doesn't think they should be celebrated in such a commercial way". what's the emoticon for rolling eyes???????

I bought that soap dispenser in large part because it just had 'her' written all over it. And I bought one very like it for my mother, no celebration in sight. That one for my mother has sat on her counter lo these *very* many years now. And I just gloat inside every time my sil comments on how nice it is. OK, gloat and cry and rage and stomp my foot and cry a little more. Oh well. I never ever found out what happened to that wrapped present -- it was prettily wrapped, too. geesh.

Still, better than nothing.

Guess I'm not "in" either, my glass uppers are filled with colorful pottery!!
Pottery classes sound fun!

FML (I shouldn't say here, but I will) means F* My Life. All the kids are saying it now... I don't even really know what it means.

wait wait wha....? What's the context in which you say "FML"? I'm sure dd1 knows, but probably I can't ask -- not that she doesn't know I'm a dork already, but still. There has to be some pride left to us parents, right? Learning from a kitchen remodeling forum seems dignified, right?

blfenton and aliris19 provided good words of wisdom. I needed to hear those words myself, LOL! ... after taking my mom to see our framing this past week and not hearing one comment from her. Which means she doesn't have anything nice to say :-( Oh well. The most important thing is that you're happy with the results. It is disappointing, though, when someone you love doesn't share your enthusiasm.

Show us photos when your kitchen is finished with that beautiful handmade pottery!

Not being a user to the phrase, I can only give you an example of the context in which I THINK it would be used. I THINK it is basically an expression of frusteration with scenarios that suck but are unavoidable.

For example:
"I got called into work on my day off and missed my husband's birthday because my irresponsible co-worker broke his collarbone while attempting to master the art of drunk water-skiing..... FML".

I suspect if you ask a teenager he/she might not find my example FML worthy... being forced to spend an entire day off with family might be FML worthy in their opinion. I think its text-speak.

I'm sorry, maybe I missed something, but why would you bother showing her anything. And yes, you should have smacked her.

HTracey- I think you should make her a coffee cup. Instead of saying Ahole on the side, but make a little hole so it dribbles down her outfit everytime she uses it.

the shiva vase palimpest linked is good too!

'When I told her, she exclaimed how I can stock up on all kinds of pottery at the local salvation army and yard sales because "you know.... people aren't really DOING that anymore..." '

that's when you say something like 'I don't collect 'all kinds' of pottery - just special pieces. They have to 'speak to me' you know...'

let her chew on that.

OTOH, she sounds like one who would get a beautiful piece for a gift and then she'd donate it to the SA...you can find good stuff there.

I like pottery also - but like it to be from somewhere I traveled or have some special meaning. not just that it's 'pottery'.

I love pottery too! Italian, hand made, funky- actually just about any kind of pottery.
I don't think I'd like your SIL, though.

Here's the newest piece I just got for my new kitchen:

This is one of the most educational threads ever. It may be NKR, but at least it doesn't make me want to FML.

I want you to know that the first time my stepmother saw the new kitchen, she said "Oh, I really hate this!" And then went into detail of why. FML!

You could send her a note that says GFY and tell her it stands for Good For You.

laughing

Just make her a pottery cup with a hole in it that has a "Delayed Reaction" She fills the cup up, couple minutes later, it "Lets loose".

Gary

Maybe you should start her a collection of Muddy Waters jars:
They did not have "Ashes of Problem Sister-in-Law" specifically, but she might like this one:
{{!gwi}}

LAUGHING

Oh my. I thought you were all nice little old ladies... Palimpsest is being rather eponymous, erasing one slightly shocking, but very amusing suggestion with another.

I have a daughter panicking about homework who is incredibly upset to hear me laughing uproariously. FML. I just had to say that. The teenager thinks it is defined by what her mother packs for lunch.

I vote for bmorepanic's example.

OK, I was caught in a traffic jam for 3.5 hours today and was 1.5 hours late picking up a kid. FML. I returned home to the electrician having killed all the lights in the kitchen. FML^2. I had to add that last to retain relevance to the kitchen forum. ;)

So sorry you have a jerk for a SIL. Rest assured we've all wanted to smack at least one or two relations up side the head occasionally for their callous remarks. I'm so glad you came here to vent--I've been so entertained by everyone's responses!

I love pottery and have been buying pieces for years--it's probably my biggest weakness. I look forward to seeing your beautiful collection when you reveal your kitchen!

Here's a link to an old thread that I'm sure you'll enjoy!

Here is a link that might be useful: Calling all

This one might work.

Or, to clarify things:

This one is totally irrelevant but is a 99%er fave:

Incidentally, through Google I have discovered that ugly pottery is an actual, real, serious new trend. You could make and give her something like this for every and all occasions, so she can start her own collection:

{{!gwi}}

Make sure you practice bursting out into uncontrollable sobbing when she unwraps her Christmas present and says she doesn't like it.

Or--ooh!--collect a bunch yourself and fill up your glass cabinets with these hideous things, but only when she's there. Everybody else will see only your normal, pretty stuff, so when she starts raving to the family they'll all think she's gone barky.

Marcolo -- that is not ugly. That is just about the most wondrous thing I've ever seen, pottery or otherwise. Wow. The glaze is incredible. If that's for sale, I will mortgage the house for it. Wait, the house is mortgaged. And it's only nominally a house at the moment anyway....

Seriously -- was that for sale or is it being displayed as someone's prize piece of artwork?

This thread is very funny, though I do take exception to being called a little old lady. (I can do that--Aliris and I are friends.) I'll cop to the "nice" though. I think it's great that Htracey's SIL feels so comfortable in her company and so much like they're family that she'll say any old stupid thing that comes into her head. And she was feeling helpful when she pointed out much was available second hand to fill up the glass cabinets.

Just remember that you're on blood sisters terms now, and you have license to say, "Yes, your ass does look fat in that"." ;)

aliris, I can assure you that you will find everything your heart desires by Googling "ugly pottery." Be sure to take a moment to consider why that is.

I'm still laughing over Pal's Good for you. Too funny.

Oh yes, Angie, the Good For You is probably my fav too. You just know our mothers would believe it. OTOH, the way it's used is just about as innocuous as that anyway. Language morphs. And if a word is that commonly used it ceases to be shocking and therefore taboo: self-immolating words.

But to me, the acme is marcolo. Googling "ugly pottery" is just a wonderful way to end a not-wonderful day. Evidently I am besotted with "ugly pottery". Check this out or this. Turns out Ugly Jugs is a technical term.

Still, if you want to see something really scary, this has to take the cake.

And look at this, there's a whole about.com entry on ugly pottery.

Marcolo, any chance you could find a url on that first ugly jug you posted? That's still the best to me. TIA.

Aliris, you can search on an image nowadays on Google. Here's the URL.

Thanks for the links. That was fun. ;)

Forgive me, but she insults you and you should give her something? Uhhh, not so much. Her actions were very hurtful when something good was happening for you that was allowing you to express your taste and creativity. I'm not little or old but I don't feel it's healthy to try to have a relationship with someone who is jealous/passive-aggressive at any age.

Pal got the gesture right.

I have walked this walk and I'm always very nice but say very little and share nothing meaningful.

We must have the same sister-in-law! I would love to give her a GFY mug. Heh, heh. Must google now to see if I can conjure one up.

Here you go.

Good for You!

Awesome! Oh, but wait, I don't give her gifts anymore.

I like the "It's all me" mug and we could probably all put that one in our kitchen. Because, seriously, when we were redoing our kitchen it was all about me. I'm chief cook bottle-washer so who else what it be about. Selfish yes - but it made me happy.

Maybe I missed this (This head cold is making me miss a lot of stuff so I'm staying away from the layout posts - they've become very confusing over the last 3 days) but just what is GFY?

GFY = Go F* Yourself

So let me guess, her kitchen is either totally outdated or looks just like every other in her neighborhood?

FML- there is a website www.fmylife.com that people describe what happened to them today, and then they always end it with FML.

I know this because my eldest son "insists" on reading these quotes outloud to me....

often.....
*sigh*

fml.

Oh dear, I thought it meant "god forgives you" (for being such a b!tch).

It doesn't?

[Bats eyes innocently.]

This thread is a hoot!!! The perfect way to end the week! Thanks for all the laughs!

I just have to say that this is such a fun thread! I needed that, now in the throes of demolition as frightening structural issues come up (would I rather be blissfully unaware that my second floor might fall into my main floor with a stiff wind? I guess not. Sigh.)

Thanks everyone for a good laugh. And a few chortles and guffaws. And keep 'em coming! Good For You!

Palimpsest, you have a wicked sense of humor. And I'm realllllly glad you're not made at ME. LOL.... GFY...whoot!

Maybe it's just because I'm overtired. I think Palimpsest's GFY (all innocence nonwithstanding) is actually better. The more common interpretation might be pleasurable, however anatomically improbable and potentially sinful, if you think about it, assuming the SIL is a grown woman who wouldn't actually end up sullied or ruined by the process. Pal's version carries the lingering, unsaid, clause, "...but I don't." :)

I remember when I was a child and there were workman drinking and cursing in the field behind our house. Our beloved housekeeper thought that was very inappropriate behavior to display by a family home, especially within sight and earshot of small children. She'd go on the backstep, where there was a good, direct view of the ne'er-do-wells, and stand squarely with her arms akimbo, announcing in a firm, carrying, no nonsense voice, "Jesus loves you!" I have never heard a more effective nor more strongly uttered curse. With that one innocent phrase, she wrapped them up and sent them on their way. There's power in those words! And a loudly implied, "...but I don't!"

lol...LOL...LMAO...LMFAO!!!!

yeah, it is still done...

my best and coolest friend in the world finds the coolest things at thrift stores and my daughter buys 90% of her clothes at thrift stores. i would too if i had more time.

it's people like the sil that make sure there are great thrift finds for the people i love.

Oh wow, thank you plllog -- how did you do that???

So now we have 3 perfectly viable meanings for "GFY" -- this internet-ese is starting to grow on me. I love the ambiguity.

I had the most perfect FML day a couple ago! I won't visit the site but just knowing about it makes me laugh.

oh ... and no matter how unpleasant, I think I think you should always try to maintain a relationship with an inlaw. Most of the reasons these relationships fall apart are silly, truthfully, in the bigger picture. Not un-hurtful, just not meaningful, truly. The relationship can include no gifts of course, but it should continue to try to exist... IMHO.

Here is a link that might be useful: Best ugly jug ever

I love old pottery/crocks. These sit on top my fridge. Ooops my wine cubbies are empty... time to re-stock ;-)

Aliris, I don't exactly know. Someone here had mentioned that you can search for an image, rather than merely its name. So I put the URL from Marcolo's image into Google and it asked me if I wanted to search for the image, so I said yes, and it came up with the URL I had put in, and the one from the artist's page or whatever that is. I'm sure if you Google "search for image" it'll tell you how to do it. I'm too fried to try it though...

Well, I just opened this thread and it just so happens I bought 3 mugs from a local pottery fellow. And when I saw the mugs Marcolo posted, I had to jump in too!

Maybe you need the middle mug for when you have her over for tea time and slap a couple of fake tatoos on your arms too?