Maybe you can do just a little decorating with fresh garland, flowers, fruit and a couple strings of white lights. Candles always add to the mood. I did this one year and loved it. Easy, easy! Like Patty said, 2012 decorations will be great. Enjoy the break!

Have to pass on the Bloody. Too many cold meds at the moment, lol. Sorry to hear about your basement and construction storage problems. Are these deck pieces 9 feet or inches? You wrote 9 inches, I am thinking you mean feet, since the smaller size piece could be easily and carefully moved.

I didn't use any of my usual ornaments this year. Needed a new tree, which morphed into a new color palette. Although I had some things in the new color, I did buy more filler-type ornies in the new color to add in with my already red & dark green decs, etc. Problem is the new tree is a slim and won't hold my heavier ornaments, the lionshare of which are Radko.

The boxes of my heavy and expensive "old" ornaments are boxed up, sitting on the floor in the foyer at the moment. Need to figure out something or some way to display them. I do have a metal shaped tree thing I may use for some of the ornaments. Point being, you can easily find some type of tree even if it is the cutout framed metal tree to hang ornaments on for the holidays. I think I paid all of $40-50 for the metal tree last year.

If you are interested, and can get out to shop asap, there are so many discounted trees and decor items. The problem is, that if you don't go today, by the next day they are gone. Looked at a sleigh arrangement done in the colors of my "new" tree. Wanted to sleep on it before putting out the amount of $$$$ as marked. When I went back less than 24 hrs. later it was gone. Just sayin.

Heck, if your contractors have the construction stuff moved by the 19th, you still would have almost a week to holiday up your home for Christmas day.

Can't imagine not doing any holiday decorating, except if we were going to be away. OTOH, it would be a heck of alot easier not having all of the decs to put away after the holidays.

Any event, I hope you have a happy holiday regardless of what you decide on the decorating situation.

Omg, some truly GREAT IDEAS, THANK YOU!!

I have been feeling and acting like this is the last Christmas on earth! I am going to change my attitude and start looking forward to 2012!

Yes, party moved, I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders when I called our favorite restaurant (one of only two I would even ask in our small town) and they had JUST had a cancellation for the night we needed the private room!

In the meantime, I am going to pick up a new tree and decorations and my son and I will do that together--- great holiday project for the two of us, he is recently unemployed and very gloomy. We can donate the tree after Christmas, what a fabulous idea, caminnc! Thank you!
And I will borrow a few magnolia leaves for the mantels... That and red berries... Voila!

Work in progress, the width of those panels is 9", but the length is 14 feet. They are stacked right in front of the Christmas storage, and I don't dare take a chance on ruining a single piece. I'm sorry you can't join me for that inappropriate morning drink!

You might try going without decorating and see what it's like for you, Kswl. You have a lot on your plate right now.

I know you do a spectacular job of Christmas decorating every year. It's important to you, you're great at it, and your work results in quite a treat for your family and community to behold. Still, maybe just sitting it out one year will make your future efforts even more satisfying!

Best wishes for a happy holiday season, with or without decor, and good luck with the projects in process!

Must have been typing when you were, Kswl. Looks like you've arrived at a happy solution. Great!

Peace

I'm glad you are going with Cam's idea. I cannot imagine not decorating for Christmas. That said, it doesn't mean you have to go to great lengths. Go simple this year. You may enjoy it!

Sorry to hear about your son - I hope this cheers him up.

tina

Glad you are looking forward to decorating with your son, sounds fun! After all it's about being with loved ones, sharing food and having fun.

I'll take that Bloody Mary now :-)

Sounds like a plan! I'll bet you and your son will make some good memories!

I am keeping my decorating simple this year. We usually have an office party at our house too which is not happening this year. I spend so much time decorating everything(and then taking it all down in January). I have decided to just put up the tree, a kitchen table centerpiece, the family room mantle and that's all. I will miss all my other decorations but it is just not worth it if we're not entertaining. Use your time to do something else you enjoy!

Tina, it's not the end of the world. I didn't decorate the year we remodeled. Sometimes you just have to put on the brakes.

Natal, I'm not remodeling and I still won't be decorating! The brakes are engaged permanently at my house, LOL! I did just buy a new wreath for the front door and put the old one on a back door, but there will be no tree, no lights on the shrubs, no reindeer or santas or snowmen sitting about.

Indeed, it's so far from the end of the world. On the contrary, Not decorating for the season is what makes sense in my life and makes me happy. However, I think it's great that there are people who delight in all the accoutrements of the season. I realize that Kswl is an artist at this sort of thing.

Kswl, didn't realize you were old enough to have a son in the work force! I'll be wishing for a great new opportunity to come his way in the New Year. In the mean time, I bet it's so nice to have him around to help with that tree and enjoy some family time.

Stinky, you made reference to that on another thread ... maybe over in Conversations. What precipitated the change?

The year I bought the resale tree I mentioned in another thread, we had recently moved. It was not in the cards to get all the ornaments out, get a tree, etc. I noticed that one driving by in the parking lot and stopped to look, figuring I could donate it back. I bought it, brought it home -- can't remember if we added a strand or two of lights or if they were on it, then added curly ribbon in different colors and candy canes. My kids were in elementary school, and it was a fun change -- was really pretty when lit and whimsical by day.

You could cut out some snowflakes, make paper chains, popcorn and cranberry chains, bake cookie style ornaments, make the cinnamon and applesauce ones, collect pine cones or gum balls and spray them all metallic then get an inexpensive real tree, artificial, the wire frame (saw one at Marshall's Home Goods I really liked -- or make one), cut one out of a refrigerator box and paint it. There is something for any budget or creative idea. If you can't do the usual, have some fun. And good luck with that deck. That's my birthday, so I'll send you extra good wishes for it then. It should be a good day! :)

I just saw in BH and G magazine a spread about a home minimally decorated for Christmas. I really liked it. Christmas is the one time my DH likes to decorate and he says tacky is good this time of year . . .but I think just a few touches of greenery (you'd be buying those fresh anyway) accented with ribbon would go a long way.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you know? Glad you got your tree!

I'm sorry for what your son is going through! My DH has been laid off a few times during our marriage and it is always tough. Your son might consider contract work . . .at least in my husband's field (IT) very few places are hiring for so-called permanent positions. DH actually loves contract work but the insurance is always tricky then!

It brings us happiness Natal. Of course, you and anyone else should do what makes you happy.

I missed the line about your son being unemployed. This is a very hard time to be job searching. My brother got laid off this fall and there was nothing of interest then. The openings have picked up, but I doubt the hiring will begin until the first of the year. He's had interviews, including one that sounded like they'd have him start the next week, then they threw out a next year mention. Tough to wait when there are extra expenses. I've had him helping me get things crossed off my list too. It's been good for both of us and we get time to visit. Good luck with all your plans and his job search.

Natal, oh how I do go on...LOL! Find myself doing less each and every year. What I might have "tolerated" well last year, I can't abide this year. For the last decade or so, have been in this weeding out process. Went from big tree, to small, to table-top tree, to no tree, and participate in fewer festivities.

Self-examination is important to me; sorting out what I really want to have around, and leaving behind what is excessive or counter-productive is key, no matter the time of year. What decor and "stuff" I define as essential and life-giving changes (& dwindles) as I age I suppose.

Stinky, I can identify with much of that. I've been traveling down the less is more road for a while now. Still, I enjoy Christmas ... from the meaning of the holiday to the music and the festive nature of the season. Would be thrilled to do away with the gift aspect, but no way that's going to disappear, so I find my own way of dealing with it. My sister, OTOH, hasn't "celebrated" beyond sending cards for decades. It was never her thing.

Stinky...every word you wrote could have been mine. Nice to be in such good company. I usually feel an affinity for your posts.

Natal we haven't done gifts in years and I have never done a Christmas card. Used to love the holiday music, sang much of it professionally but the commercialization of it and the saturation of the airways has ruined most of it for me.

I am particularly moved by stinky's reference to " self-examination". I seem to be in that place almost all the time. Very reflective.

Glad I opened this post. c

I'm curious. Why no gifts? It's part of the birth of Christ..if you're a Christian and celebrate Christmas.

I love giving and I love receiving. I hope this isn't too personal a question but I'm just curious by nature! lol.

KS, so glad you're decorating, it will definitely cheer up your son. You can spend a $100 at Target or Walmart and practically decorate the whole house! I'm especially surprised at how nice the decorations are at Walmart.

I was also going to cut down on decoration this year and make it simple and more elegant than in the past. But as I was getting all the cheerful colors out I just kept on going and going and even putting up way too cutesy things for the grandkids to see. :)

Oakley, we've touched on this before. Regarding gifts ... I think you're confusing Santa with Christ unless you're giving gold, frankincense and myrrh. And even those were given much later when the wise men visited a young child (not a newborn) in a house (not a stable).

Here is a link that might be useful: the wise men

Really Natal? Snopes? lol

All you've said about gifts is that you don't like giving them, even though you have to buy for two people you still don't like doing so. You never said why. I was just curious is all.

And how dare you tell me you think I'm confusing Santa with Christ! Not even during the Christmas season can you be civil to me.

It doesn't matter how old Jesus was when he received the gifts, the point is giving gifts to others.. and I'm not just talking about Santa either!..represents the gifts from the Magi to Christ.

Now, why don't you go tell a little kid there's no Santa?

End of discussion with you.

One last thing Natal, because I don't like discussing religion...you do know that December 25th is not the birthday of Christ, don't you? Therefore, shouldn't all of Christmas be a sham to you?

I thrive on the MAGIc of Christmas..I'm sorry that you do not.

Oakley, we discussed this on one of your Christmas threads on the Conversation side where you tried to belittle me for not buying into the gift-giving commercialization of the holiday. That's your thing, not mine.

As for Snopes ... many different major news organizations have profiled the Mikkelson's and their work over the years and continue to regularly cite them as a reliable and accurate source of information.

Here is a link that might be useful: links to major news outlets and their articles on Snopes

Actually, gift-giving started in pre-Christian Rome.

The rulers demanded that citizens bring gifts to them during the Saturnalia (in December) and Kalends (in January). Later, this ritual became re-rooted and Christianized.

If you give, does it matter what people did before or why other people give? Shouldn't it matter what is in your heart and the joy you give?

We aren't exchanging gifts as a family this year -- a first for us, but there have been a lot of extenuating circumstances this year. Still, I am finding there are plenty of ways to share with them and others. I think it is going to be a special Christmas for me.

Thank you for all the replies and thoughtful consideration of our holiday dilemma! Today, #1 son and I went out looking for a new tree.... We didn't find one, but came back with 9 fresh fir wreaths! Two for the gates, four for the bridge, two for the columns and one for the door---- so at least the approach will be festive :) I am using fresh greenery on mantels and tomorrow will purchase several poinsettias, and I think those garden touches will definitely add holiday cheer and color to the house.

Thank you, btw, the person who was surprised that I have a 28 year old! I guess I either sound young (at heart) or just immature, lol. I've been married to my college sweetheart for almost 31 years, and have also a 25 year old daughter, a twenty year old son, a crazy Jack Rat and my darling Llhasa Apso, Mr. Fluffy. They will all be disappointed about the lack of Christmas decorations. Otoh, isnt it high time they helped create the season themselves? Sometimes I feel like Dr. FeelGood and the Magic Lantern Show, trying to singlehandedly shoulder the burden of making everyone happy during the holidays by creating the perfect backdrop for it. Maybe this situation is a blessing after all..... It seems there are many lessons to be learned in our family all 'round.

Happy Holidays to each and every one!

so, Kswl do you have photos of your last year decorating? and I would love to see wreaths on your bridge. How cool.
Christmas voyeur here- I decorate later in Dec.

kswl-- that sounds really, really gorgeous! Fresh greenery is the best!

RE: gift-giving . . .very interesting points of view. My friend shared what she does-- she gives everyone in her immediate family (DH and kids) something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. I love this but am having a problem sticking to ONE thing in each category. I guess because I don't buy my kids that much for anything other than holidays/b-days, but they seem to have more than enough, so . . .I have spent way too much time shopping online trying to pick the perfect thing at the perfect price. It's not been fun.

Anyway, I am not even Christian (my family is and I was raised Catholic), but I guess I like the IDEA of the magic of the season, but this year I am not into it at all. I am tired of the Christmas movies and now when I hear Christmas music anywhere other than home, I feel like I am being brainwashed into a pressure to shop, which I guess is working.

I love the idea of family rituals (as in, those things that bring togetherness and security, not some sort of unattainable happiness) and want to make every day a holiday . . .some sort of celebration of how lucky I am to have my family and my own life. I am just not finding a way to make that happen!

Sorry for going so OT!

hey oakley...just getting back to answer about the gifts. For all the years the kids were little we had a tree and it was piled high with presents for them and we had Christmas morning like many households in this country.

We never did name drawing or mailing of gifts except a couple times decades ago and then we stopped. I made baked goods and sent them and my MIL let me know that no one wanted them so that was that :(

As the years have gone by the kids have not all been around for the "big day". We still put up a tree for the ones that were here and had presents to open. It had become less and less festive and more and more forced. If it were just DD we would still be doing a BIG Christmas AM. She is the light that shines in our home in a consistent and wonderful way. Presents under the tree are not what make it so special in our home. It is the people. We don't celebrate a religious holiday in our home and never have, only the secular.

When one of the kids has a need for something and we know about it and we can afford to provide it we do. They know we are here for them emotionally and that is the most important . Over the years we have provided some very very sizable $$$$ when they were needed.

I think what ever makes a family comfortable is what they should do. I have no investment one way or the other in someone else's beliefs.

I know you were just curious as to what I was thinking and I am glad to share :) To each of us it is important to have certain rituals and rites. We are all so different and yet alike in that aspect.

I am so glad for you and hope you have a wonderful holiday. I am glad kwsl started this thread and that her holiday is going to be something new and special for her and her family. c

Several years ago I discovered the joys of those small tabletop rosemary trees and I will be doing that again this year.
I enjoy seeing elaborately decorated homes and yards, so there is definitely room in the world for those who love to decorate for the season and others who do not.

Amele, not OT at all, really! The sudden inability to decorate like the proverbial Christmas machine --- used to say elf, but we've got waaaay beyond that in recent years--- now seems less about decorating and more about how to celebrate the season in a meaningful way. Even without all the usual trappings and triggers. After all, is it the gifts that say Christmas? I will admit, for some in my family, it is. Is it the decorations? And if so, is it the consistent appearance of the SAME decorations? Again, for some in our family, it is!

It's interesting to reflect on one's own "must haves" for the holiday season, then try to imagine celebrating without those, or how to engender the same feelings with different stimuli.

Our family has become increasingly secular over the years, and I have very mixed feelings about that. As "the mom," I could force everyone into an observance they don't feel or agree with. I finally got tired of doing it..... But then I could see that they've missed it, too. Oh dear, this may become my Philosophical Christmas, the one the kids talk about after i am gone.... renember the year mom wanted everyone to reexamine what Christmas really means to them... Oy!

Cooperbailey, I will do even better, when it is light I will post photos of this year's wreaths. We have a bridge on our driveway ( over a stream) that has brick columns along each side with wrought iron between them and lights on the four columns at each end (sounds much grander than it is). Those get the wreaths, so you are welcomed driving in and thanked on your way out :) During our exterior reno, which has been ongoing since last March, two---- TWO --- of the columns have been knocked down by contractors with long trailers behind trucks....they try to take a hard turn off the bridge instead of following the drive the "longer" way (longer by 60 seconds). I MAY put a sign on the bridge that says, You Break It, You Buy It!

Or high point in Christmas decorating was a few years ago, we were on a tour of homes... Link below. I had the thought the other day to just run the slideshow below on a continuous loop in every room ....See, I can decorate for Christmas, I am just taking a little break...

Here is a link that might be useful: Christmas decorating a few years ago

Tfm, that's two of us :)

Any more Georgians up for a gtg?

Wow, I'm not even posting on the right thread...smacks forehead ...

TECHNICALLY on the 19th the CHRISTMAS SEASON hasn't even begun. It is sad things are so out of hand the idea of decorating is too involved, too over whelming. Back in the day no decorating was done until Dec 24th. I have no idea how they got all the baking and wrapping done, but I suspect it is all about the sheer over indulgence of the season today. We have lost its purpose and meaning in all our business and extravagance. Gifting was inspired by the Wise men who don't appear until Epiphany, the end of the Christmas season. Something to think about.

I wanted to post yesterday but I was swamped w/ work. I was so sorry to hear your disapointment but happy that you've come to solutions! Nothing needed for me to add - you've gotten great ideas, comments, suggestions etc.....

Have fun!

Back in the day ... I only remember back to the 60s, Arcy, and our house was decorated early in December. My parents had a famous Christmas party the first weekend of December, and most of our friends and neighbors did likewise. I keep our decorations up until Epiphany, and when we're inFlorida for Christnas we heat the pool and the kids and cousins dive for a cross for a year of good luck. We're Episcopalians, but we borrowed that custom from the Greek orthodox church :)

kswl,
I don't have anything helpful to add but I did want to say I certainly enjoyed your comments and attitude.
Jean

Jean Thanks!

Back in the day ... I only remember back to the 60s, Arcy, and our house was decorated early in December. My parents had a famous Christmas party the first weekend of December, and most of our friends and neighbors did likewise. I keep our decorations up until Epiphany, and when we're inFlorida for Christnas we heat the pool and the kids and cousins dive for a cross for a year of good luck. We're Episcopalians, but we borrowed that custom from the Greek orthodox church :)

Now that is ODD..

I enjoy a lot about Xmas, but the decorating has become a chore. Luckily, our ds, who will be 10 just after Xmas, was into decorating this year, so he and his younger bro brought out the stuff and put it all up. It was done far from perfect, but I love that they did it together and seemed to enjoy it so much. I would have done it with them soon enough, but they were so gung ho that they jumped in and got it all done. It reminds me of when I was a kid and was just like them.

I think Xmas has become too extravagant. We live in a well off area but are not at the top of the food chain. I hate feeling like we have to give our kids a certain amount so that they don't feel cheated or like they never have what the others have. I shop carefully, and they don't always have the latest and greatest. We teach them that while some people have loads of money more than us, we are doing just fine and are just not in their league financially and never will be. I think they know we do what we can for them but also are responsible about their security. They will always have a roof, food in their bellies and medical care. They understand living within one's means on one hand, but then also are kids, so they want what they want.
Dh & I often skip exchanging gifts on holidays so that we don't put ourselves into debt. Most of the time, we will take a family trip or get a joint gift we both want rather than buy each other gifts. We did a huge reno/extension on our house in the past year with quite a few surprises that went over budget and just don't have a lot left in our pockets. That was our everything gift to each other this year, lol. In a few years, it will be different as we build back our coffers, but it is not all bad to teach them restraint.
I don't want them to think that they need to get or give large gifts. I make a bigger deal about them doing something nice for someone else than I do about gifts.
It is funny but I often hear people lament that the religious aspect of the holiday has been lost so was surprised to hear someone being chewed out for not exchanging gifts. If one is wanting the spirit of Xmas and confusing that with gift giving, even a non-Christian like me knows that is wrong. Gifts are great and are fun bonuses, but when they become mandatory, then some of the joy is gone. As a life long enthusiastic gift giver, even I get tired of things having gone too far. No one should go broke or feel bad about gift giving when money is tight.

Thanks for the info, C. I knew it could be a touchy question but you know me well enough to know I'll just blurt out what I'm thinking! lol.

If my MIL or any family member did that to me after I worked so hard (and happily at that) to send baked goods and was told they were unwanted, I'd be devastated.

Dianalo, no one was being chewed out for not giving gifts. They were being chewed out for saying I confused Santa with Christ, saying it out of sheer spite when it wasn't called for. And everyone here knows she singles me out, it's been mentioned several times before by others.

Before we moved here I would never put the tree up until Dec. 15th. But everyone here did it the day after TG which I thought was ridiculous. Until my kids begged us to do the same and I saw the "magic" in their eyes, so we caved.

Now I put it up the weekend after TG only because I've gotten into decoating a lot around the house and I don't want to be swamped.

I do think too many people are being accused of not knowing what the Christmas Spirit is because they buy gifts for others. I have no clue why anyone would think that. I do find it bad that in this day and age, after so much tragedy, a horrible economy, that we are being chastized for wanting to buy presents to help cheer up people. The two can and should go hand in hand.

I also have NO problem with anyone not buying gifts. I was just curious as to why since I don't know anyone IRL who does that unless they aren't a Christian. No offense was meant at all in my original question.

I think it's fine to do gifts, and it doesn't have to commercialize Christmas if it's done in the right spirit. I love to give my husband gifts although we don't make a big deal over it nor do we do $$$ gifts any longer. When my side of the family decided to quit doing gifts and to instead to give to a charity or a adopt a family that needed help, it was because gifts had gotten out of hand. We all had everything we needed, and honestly, more than we needed. We could not come up with things to give each other. Exchanging gift certificates and/or money is not fun to me. How much thought is put into that? We were happy with getting together and a good meal. It did as much for us as those we gifted to know they would have something for Christmas when they ordinarily might not. Since my mother is gone and my grandmother is not herself, things have changed, but I still do angel gifts and participate in the children's showbox project each year. A gift will be done in memory of my mom. My husband and I do gifts for each other - and we do put thought into those gifts. I love finding things for him. It's nothing big or pricey - just things I know he will like. We also sometimes will do a big purchase or project for the house and say that's our Christmas.

That said, I am a Christian and do celebrate the religious meaning of the holiday. I also celebrate the "spirit" of Christmas which I interpret as a time to give to other whether that be monetary or our time. It's something I do year round, but I see more people involved in this around the holidays. I think it is the spirit of Christmas - even for those who may not normally get into that. It's the commercialization of Christmas, the feeling that we MUST buy someone something -whether it is needed, wanted or even appreciated. I am truly most happy with the gatherings over the holiday period - with friends, families, the special services our church and community has, etc. Like someone said above, if gifts are done in the right spirit and from the heart - of course there is nothing wrong in that. But Christmas can also be very meaningful without gifts. I guess I'm saying there is no right or wrong - just what is best for you and your family.

tina

I'm curious. Why no gifts? It's part of the birth of Christ..if you're a Christian and celebrate Christmas. I love giving and I love receiving. I hope this isn't too personal a question but I'm just curious by nature! lol.

I also have NO problem with anyone not buying gifts. I was just curious as to why since I don't know anyone IRL who does that unless they aren't a Christian. No offense was meant at all in my original question.

Gee, if anyone should feel singled it I think it would be me. C'mon Oakley, how many times do I have to answer the same question? We discussed this on the I Don't Want More Stuff thread on Conversations back in September. You asked me the same question then and I responded. I'm not interested in beating a dead horse. I'll link the thread to refresh your memory.

Here is a link that might be useful: I Don't Want More Stuff

Since consumer culture was so different in previous decades, it was easier and "more natural" to be observant of the season of Advent, the four weeks prior to Christmas, which is part of the liturgical calendar in many Western Christian churches. Remember, there was a time when Santas and Jack O'Lanterns did not share space on the same store shelf!

The spirit of Advent, which started this year on Sunday, November 27, is quite contrary to the hectic pace, noise and busyness, most find ourselves in the midst of right now. It is supposed to be a quiet, reflective time, during which we contemplate the coming of Christ. *After* this period of waiting and reflection, the celebration begins. We receive the greatest gift of all! The light of the world has arrived; it is Christmas Day! We rejoice as we witness what Isaiah prophesied, "The people who waited in darkness have seen a great light."

Oakley, *speaking for myself,* I do think the real power and meaning and spirit of Christmas has gotten lost in the consumer shuffle for many. The world doesn't encourage it, but we can choose to shift our priorities and focus on more than the just the trimmings and the trappings. That shift in priorities may still include gift giving. How we practice and express our faith is never a one size fits all proposition.

What I find it helpful to remember and focus on right now in this season of Advent, is the truth that what we are in fact celebrating, is the awe-inspiring *humility* of God. God brought himself into human history, with almost frightening quietness and humility. How could entry into the world be more humble? A manger, a stable, farm animals, dirty shepherds, and God presenting himself to us, as, of all things, a vulnerable, helpless infant. Nothing remotely glorious sounded his arrival; no trumpets sounding, red carpets unraveling, just a heartbreakingly humble scene.

There was no advertising, publicity or special privilege. Though it has been romanticized time and again, there is little glamour to be found when thinking of a young girl searching frantically for a place to give birth.

Once a year at least, I feel I should put aside the pretty pictures and take in the facts; this amazing, astonishing event. I don't want to escape or distract from the sense of awe, the almost frightening realization, of what God has done. I must never allow anything to blind me from taking in the true significance of what happened in Bethlehem.

I am all for exchanging gifts and my dh and I have had some really good ones over the years (not meaning pricey per se, but just very thoughtful ones). I am not saying we will never exchange again, but that this year, with money tight, we have no problem in not exchanging. We do nice things for each other all the time and many don't involve a credit card. I'd hate to feel like we had to exchange just because the calendar says so. We are not Scrooge with the kids, but we did dial it back maybe 10% or so. Not enough to be really noticed because I think what we are getting for them is all right on the nose with what they would like.
For instance, we usually go skiing on one son's bday and we will do so this year, but instead of making it 3 days of skiing, 2 will have to do, which is not exactly Oliver Twist-like. His bday party is also about half the size as last year, but he is also aging out of having a big party every year. Those who will be invited will be the closest friends and family and that will be special.
I want our sons to know that it is lovely to exchange presents and do special things, but that if one can't, that is ok too and if you are close enough to exchange with someone, they should understand if you can't, just as you would if they can't. Being a good friend or relative is far more important that what is wrapped under the tree.
We donate to the coat drive every year and the very many food drives around here (each workplace, class, group, etc... is doing at least one). I take them with me when I donate blood (they like the cookies) because that is something that is always well needed.
The spirit of giving does not have to mean loads of presents stacked under the tree. I will cherish the time spent with them and seeing them get their presents. We will bake in advance and eat Xmas cookies and I will make a special Xmas dinner for us all. I am less into all the extra decorating, Xmas cards (FB pix will do), and the commercial aspects.
Xmas starts to pop up earlier every year and it makes me want to shorten the holiday instead. It is more special if it is not 365 days a year, although the kindness should extend that long.

It is natural that after many years of celebrating an event, we have to actively look for ways to make it more meaningful or recreate the feelings of former years. Just as Dianolo said her son was aging out of a large birthday party guest list, I think is is just difficult to keep observing Christmas at exactly the same level of wonder and reverence after 40 or 50 years. Changing up parts of the season may be our only way to recreate the particular joy we may think we SHOULD feel at Christmas. some may do that by minimizing the gift giving, while some may ramp up their giving to others.... One year I took an Advent bible study which, I am sorry to say, didn't really do much to help me capture the spirit of Christmas. The year I started each day of Advent with a quiet, solitary, reflective walk did me much more good! No two people are alike...there are as many observances of Christmas as there are individuals, and none is wrong if the intention is right. .... My 2 cents.

Stinky I copied and saved your post about the Advent season. Thank you for getting right to the heart of the matter.

You make excellent points, Kswl. I've enjoyed reading your thoughts, and am very touched by your efforts to create meaningful expressions of the holiday for yourself and your loved ones.

Btw, I was the one who was surprised by your age...thought you were say, 32-35! You impress as a very smart, energetic, active person, that's for sure. On this thread, you beautifully articulate the ambivalence and inner struggles even, that this complex season calls forth in so many of us.

Grammy, thanks for sharing that. I'm so glad you got something out of my post!

Why, Stinky, thank you! I appreciate your kind words more than you know :)

I've re-read this thread and realize that juliekcmo is the poster who suggested I get some decorations this year and then donate them.... Julie, thank you so much for that idea and nudge---- I am actively looking for a tree for that purpose!