I have one in my kitchen. Its been like 10 months and it still irritates me. Maybe someday I'll forget about it :)

Well, first off you are lucky it is your bathrooms, not the kitchen. I made a mistake in my kitchen. But, a very wise sales woman said to me as she saw my disappointment, "At some point you have to just make peace with this, and move on." Somehow, that clicked for me.
I like my kitchen, but like you I feel it could have been better. Live and learn, as they say. I do not dwell on it and basically have "moved on" and enjoy my kitchen.

Or you rip it out and redo. Money fixes everything!

I'm not religious but I like the way Amish quilters deal with this. They supposedly will put a "mistake" in a quilt (should there not be one there already) because "only God can make something perfect".

I think the biggest mistake I made in my kitchen was not putting a light directly over the sink. It's pretty dark in that area. At night it's really dark. Thing is, I don't think about it much, at all! I'm so pleased with everything else... the mistakes, the little imperfections and the "what-ifs?" just kinda get pushed aside and forgotten about!

I remember as the renovation was happening, I'd find little things that would bother me. A little scrape in the side of a cabinet here... a little unevenly cut tile there...But once the kitchen was all done I forgot about all the things that had bothered me. Now I have to think long and hard to even remember what they were!

So don't worry too much. And don't sweat the little mistakes. You really won't remember them once it's all done. Enjoy!

remember the old kitchen?. . . then I remember how perfectly wonderful the new one is!

I agree with itsallaboutthefood and la jan's comments.

Is your family happy, healthy? If so, everything else is just stuff. Focus on the things that work instead of your "mistakes"...have a glass half full attitude.

Be happy, you have a brand new kitchen! :-)

I liken the whole process alot to getting married. Often the bride is focused on every little detail and how things may/may not have been what was expected. All the guests, however, are just noticing all the little details and thinking how pretty it is as a whole picture and how much time the couple must have spent planning the wedding.

Unless it is something obvious and truly awful, I have found that you can always find someone that even likes your "mistakes". Your old kitchen is filled with lots of them (in your perception), so it is great if you only have one in your new kitchen!

Lucky for me, my parents didn't let the worst of my mistakes overshadow what I had done right, or I might be kitchen rubble :)

Beth - I'm really glad I did this kitchen reno when I was 50, and not when I was 30. I spent most of my life as a person who truly could NOT let go of anything!! That is so exhausting.

For some reason, living with mistakes is just so much easier now. Yes, I had a few in my kitchen (some bigger than others), but basically I find that if I just vent and let it be know that it really does bother me that it's not the way I wanted it (and I can get pretty worked up doing this) - then I just sort of let it go. I make peace with it. I realize how insignificant it really truly is in the big picture. I don't know that anyone can help you or teach you how to let that happen. I truly think it just came to me with age and life experience.

I personally think it's been the almost 23 years of marriage and the raising of 2 kids - with all the real issues and situations and problems that come along. When my family is healthy and happy, I know that everything else will be fine.

(Don't mean to sound preachy or corny - it's just how it worked with me!)

Good luck - SQ

Here's what I tell myself -- it's a process. This project came out a little closer to what I'd envisioned than the last one, with fewer mistakes and problems than the previous project. My next one is likely to have fewer than this one. It really is a learning curve, and each time you go through it you'll use what you learned to make the next go round a little better than the previous.

Hope this doesn't sound wrong or conceited or something but sometimes I just sit back and reflect on how I spoke up and asked for this or that, and or how I thought something through and made a change in direction and I think "boy am I glad I did that", and I'm amazed that I did/said that and gee, look at the result! Yes there are mistakes, both my own and other people's, but there are far fewer than last time. I guess I like the road I'm on with regard to getting the results I want out and choose to focus on and celebrate that road/journey rather than focus on the flaws and the "if only's".

SusieQ - I have to admit your post made me laugh at myself. I am the opposite. I have given up on raising my 3 kids 'perfectly' LOL (not literally) - I just mean that I am fully aware that they are who they are, and I am not a perfect mother and can only do my best with them. It is so much easier for me to 'let go' of my less than perfect parenting, because parenting is so much harder than renovation! I do not expect myself to be a perfect parent, and there are so many things beyond my control - influence of school, friends, extended family, DH, nevermind their genetic dispositions, that makes my job more complicated.

Given the complexity of raising 3 kids, you would expect that I could at least get a frameless shower door right!!!!

That's why it is harder for me to let it go - it should not have been a big deal, it should not have been difficult, yet I screwed it up! There are far more important and difficult things in life, which I can come to terms with, but the little "simple" things are hard to let go, because they should have been done correctly the first time.
Oh - and the more expensive the mistake the harder they are to live with!!

:)

I have a lot of trouble with this too.
Especially when the mistake was someone not thinking it through or being lazy or careless.
I put a high standard on everyone to be mindful and then do it better next time. (sorry kids!) :D

I have a bunch of scratches and gouges in my beautiful floors that kill me every time i see them. Im trying to find peace in those as more come from just living, and not dropping hammers.
I wish i had made my butcher block wider, for more work space. The BB i lament each time i use it but im trying to reframe my thinking about it, so i dont go crazy. I just think.. oh well... now move on.

Dh and I are major DIY'ers, and one thing we have learned about mistakes - STOP as soon as you realize something is not right, and think about it.

With DIY, it's almost always easier to fix the mistake right then, than to go forward thinking it will be OK in the long run, only to realize it is something that drives you bonkers every time you look at it.

The hard part is learning to understand which things will bother you in the long run, and which things won't. And sometimes the cost of fixing a mistake isn't worth the effort (of course, structural issues always have to be fixed).

Part of it is also distinguishing between things that look like mistakes and things that just aren't what you wanted. Are they things no one will notice unless you point them out?

At least with DIY, you don't come home to find the contractors spent the day doing something different than what you hoped for.

We're avid DIYers as well but have hired out a few things when we were under time pressure (mudding the drywall) or weren't comfortable doing (HVAC installation). We take our time to do things well and thoroughly, but we understandably make mistakes. I can live with those because I don't do this professionally, and I won't leave a glaring mistake alone - I'll fix it as I'm working. I still get peeved looking at the mistakes that the so-called professionals made. Paying good money for work that just isn't acceptable, then never hearing from them again just gets me mad every time! And so far, it's the jobs that we've hired out that have caused the problems: the HVAC guy didn't pitch the drain properly, causing the air handler in the attic to overflow; drywall seams are visible everywhere; roofer reused old flashing around the chimneys which then started to leak; etc, etc.

Well, the first thing I did was to remove all the mirrors in the house...

You just do. Or you don't, and you fix them (or pay someone else to fix them). What are your other options, really? I am also a major DIYer and I have certainly made mistakes (mostly cosmetic) but in the long run, I'm really the only person who notices the mistakes. (Or maybe I just have really kind friends and family?) Over time, I find the mistakes less bothersome and I'm more able to see the whole and be happy with the improvement. Try to stop focusing on the mistakes and step back and look at the whole picture. Remember what you had before, look at what you have now, and be happy. Just learn to live and enjoy. And after time, if you simply cannot let the mistakes go, then save up (either time or money) and fix them.

1. I am not perfect and I never expected myself to be perfect.
2. You get better by practicing; ie doing it over and over and you only have so many kitchens/houses/bathrooms to practice it on.
3. It costs way too much money to get it fixed and I don't have enough money to get it fixed.
4. Even if I had enough money to get it fixed, it is good enough and I don't have enough time to get it fixed.
5. Most importantly, there are MUCH MUCH more important things in life than a perfect house/kitchen/bathroom.

Beth - I'm glad my post made you laugh (that's always a good thing), but I think you might have mis-understood me. My kids and my husband and my marriage and my life in general are all SO FAR from perfect. That's part of what came with age for me: I realized that nothing has to be or ever will be perfect. If I could get through my daughter's very rocky (and very not-perfect young adulthood - say, from 15 years old to about 21 years old), I'm pretty sure I can get through anything! Believe me, living with a peninsula that isn't centered under the window is a piece of cake compared to living with real problems in life (health issues or a struggling child or things like that.) Giving up on the "perfect mother" thing was one of the best things I ever did. And for me, it made it easier to just accept all of the little curve balls that life might throw me. I think that you should not be so hard on yourself!

SQ

One thing that I've found helps with the mistakes is to stop talking about them and to quit pointing them out. Gotta stop reinforcing your anger and move on. Brain will begin to reassume perspective, in time.

The comments me laugh. Thought I was reading Stuart Smalley's Daily Affirmations,. Maybe it was weedmeister's comment about moving all the mirrors.

"As we say in program: progress, not perfection."

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." (Al Franken aka Stuart Smalley)

Ian

This is so timely for me! We just finished the second week of kitchen construction and I have been quite perplexed at my lack of insanity. I have discovered a few mistakes along the way that in the past would have caused many sleepless nights and self flagellation.

Like Susequsie60,I am in my early 50s and I now think that is key to my calm. Every time I start to feel upset about a mistake I remember the time in my 30s that I absolutely agonized about minute shades of beige carpet. Now that same carpet is so faded and I realize how ridiculous I was then.

And yes, life events along the way defined what was really important to me and that is nothing a perfect (or near perfect) kitchen can provide.

Plus 50s really are fabulous!

Amy

Thank you for posting this thread....it was quite timely! The upper corner cabinets arrived with a 7 inch opening and there is nothing that can be done about it. I was stunned that the KD did not point this out when we were planning. (I think she did not realize it.) I read the quote about the Amish quilters, and realized that perfection is an unrealistic goal. Instead of fretting about it, I am trying to figure out the the most efficient use of these ridiculous cabinets (I have 2 of them).

You live with the imperfections because no one has spare cash at the end of a reno, and when you finally do, you will probably tackle another project, lol....

Age has helped me not sweat the things that are completely out of my control and to work on those that I have some influence with. I am more patient about time because I know that someday, it will be finished. In the meantime, other than cooking on only 1 burner for 8 months and missing a few feet of counters, my new kitchen still functions way better than the old one.
Or, it could just be that I am burned out and fatigue has worn me down....

Red wine.

Over 50 and still not relaxed. What can I do? Maybe I have not been married long enough (only 12 years) or maybe my children are not old enough yet (9 yrs and 2 yrs).

We are at the tail end of a reno that started in October. All the mistakes are rolling up together right now. Feels like a tidal wave. But I will get over it and enjoy our much improved, lovely place. Its been good to live in a hovel rental to gain perspective on imperfection.

In the days just before our cabinets arrived, I went into panic mode, worried about the fact that I had just opened up my kitchen to the rest of the house and any mistakes would now be visible from everywhere. What if the cabinets weren't as nice as I pictured? What if they looked cheesy (I was getting a great deal, but what if "inexpensive" turned out to be "cheap")?

I comforted myself by remembering how hideous my old kitchen was. ANYTHING different would be a huge improvement. As it turned out, my cabinets looked whatever the extreme opposite of cheesy is.

But, there were a few mistakes--mostly my own--and in the long run, I've forgotten what most of them were. I've allowed the many joys of the new space to completely overwhelm the mistakes. It's been three and a half years since we finished our remodel, and I still smile and sigh in satisfaction every time I walk in there.

During our entire build, DH was adamant about certain things, and in retrospect, wish I had been a little more vocal about things I really wanted. After 46 years of marriage, and a DH that has WAY too much time on his hands, I guess you learn which battles to fight. He insisted on soffits. Now mind you, I'm not totally against soffits, but I was worried more about what GW would think than anything else. Can you believe it? People I don't really know. The soffits actually look OK now that the house is done, and we are adding some deep crown moulding that will really bring it all together.

The other thing that bothers me is that I know they didn't use the granite slab I picked out, but the fabricator has insisted over and over that they did. It just doesn't "go" with the granite I picked out for the island. And it looked so great when I picked them out at the granite yard. I had picked out backsplash tile to go with the granite, too, and somehow it all just doesn't work together like I had envisioned.