Your blog photo made me laugh! Cute blog!

I have a 12 year old boy. DH claims that DS's motto is "Su casa, me casa" There is an article of his (or more) in every room of
the house. There are always hotwheels on my kitchen island, it seems, not to be moved because they are in middle of a
"demolition race"!

Since he is my youngest of 3, I find I have more tolerance, since I realize I'll be missing those hotwheels when he is off at college.
But I usually find myself at the end of the day nagging everyone to pick up their piles of stuff. Except on the days that I am
work. Then I find that I am so busy that I don't notice it, and so there it remains until the Mother takes action! Again. And again.

So, no solutions here. It's a perpetual problem at my house;)

Somehow we keep the living room fairly neat, but that's about it. Oh, and the dining room. :-) DS's socks are everywhere. We have a coat rack in the foyer that is always piled high, so it isn't neat, but it isn't the sofa arm, either. And there is a mudroom and hallway in back, coats and shoes and gear piled high in there.

My daughter's room is a total disaster at the moment. I just shut the door and try to ignore it.

I've wanted to have "a place for everything and everything in its place" for many years. I'm the problem; it's only DH and I now and he's a very precise person (a professional pilot), so he doesn't leave anything lying around. I'm a writer and nonprofit prez, probably have undiagnosed ADD, and live in a sea of paper and half-finished projects.

Last month I bought a good daily calendar, am doing my best to "look behind me" as DH suggests so that I can pick up what I've left behind, and am also making a serious attempt to do what's necessary now instead of later. I have been able to realize that I'm not going to have more time later, as I always thought I would. I'm also giving myself 20 minutes a day to work on clearing out the papers.

So far it's going well for a change. I'm not a collector and like a lot of clear space. Me being the problem is different from what you're experiencing, laxsupermom, but maybe the above will help a little. All this is how I want to live, of course, not how I'm currently living, but if I allowed my ADD to take over the papers would be up to the ceiling in my office. DH would have to row through them every night to find me when he gets home. Can't live that way!

The thing I've found that works best is to give everything a home....but make it easy to access, even if it's not that attractive.

So many of my friends have beautiful storage areas, but they're not between the door they enter and the couch...so they don't get used. I guess they pick everything up for parties, but the rest of the time, they complain it's a mess.

We live in the country and have limited storage area. It's me and my husband, but for a while my 11 year-old nephew was living with us.

I put nice stainless steel (heavy duty) coat hooks on the wall to the kitchen. They're not in the way, as you walk through, but you can see them. That's where everyone hangs their everday coat.

A little desk area opposite (that we don't use) has become the shoe pile/soda pop box storage area. There's a little storage cabinet, with a divided basked area on top, where keys, change, etc. gets stashed.

We do have a laundry room (with more hooks) that the work coats hang and my husband's big boots (and my nephew's when he's here) for feeding the horses, etc.

Having storage is a great idea, but if it's not on the way, it sometimes doesn't get used. I guess it's a trade-off between functional and pretty, sometimes. I decided I didn't want to be the "pick up" person of the house, so I thought it was worth a try. Turns out it works really well :)

I kinda split the difference. I had the luxury of getting input into my space (we built this house), so I arranged for a mudroom and desk area and some other things that help me. I have kind of subclinical ADD as well, so I practice routines like keeping a calendar, putting my keys and id on a magnetic hook, buying a wall-mounted charger for ipods and cellphones, etc. And I work part-time with kids in school, so I have some time to putter around putting things away. So what works for me? My top tips--

1. Have logical, accessible places for the stuff you can't bear to lose (like keys, purse and phone)
2. Put storage where it is likely to be used (there's some awesome locker-style cubbies in this months Fresh Home for the bold do it yourselfer, way cool)
3. Don't try to keep the family room clean all the time. I don't use that room much myself and I'm much happier now that I'm resigned to its being kidspace and not needing to be terribly tidy.
4. Pare down objects. Sounds like something from Captain Obvious and his sidekick Duh, but I need to keep remembering this. I took everything out of my 8 year old's room and only put back in what she really used and enjoyed. Much better.

laxsupermom-

No solutions from me either, but I did want to say I like your blog and I'm waving at ya from the North Country. Also wanted to say that my perspective is probably different, I work full time in a demanding job and mr. sandyponder is a SAHD, but I have always liked coming home and seeing the detritus of domestic life strewn around, it gives me a sense of what happened during the day and what dad and the kiddo were up to. Now that she's older and in school it's different, and more picked up, but there is *always* stuff around, and IMO, well, who cares? Life is messy.

We only have a few rules, but we do enforce them with a zero tolerance approach. First, outdoor gear (including, goddesses help me, shoes) comes off at the door and gets hung up on hooks or put on the boot tray (we live in the land of ice and snow). Second, no sporting stuff is allowed in the house, zip, zero, nada. Third everyone has a wicker basket on the stairs, and anytime something is found downstairs that belongs in the boudoir areas, in the basket it goes. Of course we still have to remind the kid to look in the basket almost every time she misplaces something, but, that's a kid for ya.

Anyway, good luck in your quest for cleanliness and order, I honestly believe it's overrated, but that's just me, everyone has to do what works for them and their situation.

sandyponder

I find there is a time of day when we just have to get in the house and get things done, homework, dinner, etc. Things get dropped wherever. Later, while one parent is doing dishes, the other parent is herding the kids through the drop zone to do 2 things. 1. Put tomorrows needs where they should be - ie. homework folder in backpack, jacket on the front bench. 2. Pick up as we move up the stairs, shoes, socks, work that has come home from school, etc. That way each night the living quarters are fairly put together and we have just had to focus for about 5 minutes and moving things around. Everyone is pretty much doing it at the same time and it keeps things moving in the right direction. I admit this is purely selfish, as when I get back downstairs from putting them to bed, I want to be able to relax. It does keep things from building up, and since our house has a circular path, the home for things is passed and used at some point in the travels.

hmm where to start? I have lived similarly but with field hockey sticks and football gear and backpacks and have always been pretty relaxed about it. My house is clean underneath. If there are dirty socks in the LR- they are wet and have holes chewed either in the heel Bailey or in the ankle- Cooper.
Now the only clutter caused by either DS or DD( being the youngest just graduated from college and working(yay) are dirty dishes left in the sink. Drives me crazy. I have been known to say the cook has left the building and actually leave them to their own devices. Still working on that one- DH has gotten the idea and started loading and unloading the dishwasher.( gasp)
The interesting thing is now that the kids don't leave clutter- DHs stuff stands out! Like the other day there were 4 four (count em)pairs of his shoes under the coffee table? wth?
DH has laptop power cords coming from outlets under the sofa and the chairs so that we can plug in from either place.(at least the cords are thin and black and can be hidden)
My new fixes- ( I am so proud) a canvas tote bag on the back of our closet door for dirty socks to keep the dogs from retrieving them for us.
I put my pocket book on the back of a kitchen chair not in the living room or dining table eventually working to putting it someplace to be named later upstairs. My laptop case is in an unobtrusive place leaning against a desk in the living room (although is it bright pink and Green vera bradley)
I have kept the cap to a spray bottle of body oil for almost two months- I remember to put it back on daily and haven't lost it yet.( quit laughing)
Right now my big problem is that the 3rd floor is bursting with DDs furniture from college to be used when she moves out and I cant move around up there to store stuff. But I am moving in the right direction
So with retraining, there is hope to make how we live a little closer to how we might want to live.

Wow! Thanks for the commiserating responses, everyone. Magnaverde actually just wrote a very long and thoughtful response over on the blog and (super condensed) he says kind of like what sandyponder(frantically waving back) wrote - to embrace the stuff. The stuff isn't going away. Stray a little from my safe colors. Put some bright stuff on the walls, bright slipcovers for the pillows. Let the eye find the nice intentional bright things and they won't settle on the Fisher Price stuff.

I love that and already have some ideas percolating.

You've received so much good advice already. As a mom of three, I can relate to your frustration. What helps for us is:

1. Determine places for everthing utilizating a combination of storage baskets, drawer dividers, hooks etc. so ideally everyone knows where everything should be.
2. Create a drop zone from your daily entry. I wish we had a mudroom, but as we did not we created a mini version in our garage which has an overhead coat rack/cubbies with shoe bench below. All sports bags, cleats, jackets, garden shoes, go here.
3. Organize kids rooms as much as possible. Again with coat hooks, baskets etc. so they can learn to put their stuff away IN THEIR ROOM.
4. Sort through stuff at least 2x/year and give away unused items or donate to charity.

I will admit I pickup after my kids and put their stuff in their rooms. The two teenagers are very messy so I usually shut the door and give periodic nags. The youngest is actually the best at picking up after herself. Guess we trained her early. Oh, and my DH created a sticker chart for her recently for keeping her things picked up. Reward after 2 weeks was 1/4 lb. neon gummies. Whatever works!

I can feel your despair - and if it makes you feel any better I discovered my son's football cleats tucked into the balloon shades in the powder room. We had a decorator design the window treatments and they were very, very full shades. I didn't discover the cleats until basketball season was nearly over and I decided to wash windows one afternoon. My son was around 12 at the time and he's a shedder. He'd walk in the front door after school and start shedding things on his way to the bathroom - the backpack on the foyer floor, the jacket on the stair railing, the baseball cap on the kitchen island, whatever else was in his hand may have made it to the kitchen table or just dumped on the floor.

As a teen he was forever looking for his wallet or car keys or cell phone. I think I just learned to live with it - the other 2 kids were much neater - no - make that less messy. But they managed to keep their things in the family room.

Anyway my messy kid just called today to let me know he passed both the NY and the NJ bar exams so believe me when I say there's hope ahead.

I still think he needs a personal assistant to keep track of his belongings.

Oh, for the lax sticks, we stick ours in the umbrella holder part of the coat rack. Lax and hockey sticks, and tennis racquets ... and one or two umbrellas. Get a rack with a big bottom part!

Great idea, segbrown! My daughter plays field hockey and it never occured to me to use the umbrella holder for her stick.

Maire Cate,
Thanks for sharing! My 17 year old is ALWAYS losing important things: homework, cell phone, keys, important forms needing parental signatures, ect. And he's messy - a big bone of contention in our family. My other 2 are much neater and organized, like yours. I'm encouraged to hear that your "messy Kid" is so successful. It gives me hope for mine!
And about the OP question, I think that home organization has to change as kids, jobs, homes and general needs change. I don't think one can ever truly arrive at a place where everything is always in it's place. But having a place for the biggies: shoes, backpacks, keys, phones, purses, seems to help in our family alot. The rest of it is just training everyone to put their own things in their own spaces. I try to teach my kids to respect their things by finding a place for the things that matter to them. Cleaning is so much easier when you get to a point where you only handle things once, then they are put away, thrown away, or recycled. But like I said, it's everchanging.

segbrown, I love the idea of an umbrella stand for the sticks. I'll have to look for one to put in the corner of my foyer. maire cate, my oldest is also a shedder. Which is why it's always different items that get left in the LR, whatever's in hand at the moment. You've given me hope.

My stratagy is that i have a couple spots in the house that I allow the mess. I have a mudd room that is a disaster,overflowing with shoes,coats sports stuff even stuff that need to be taken to the garage. It gets cleaned and organized once a month because I can shut the door.Anything that needs to go upstairs to the rooms or laundry gets set on one of the stairs and anyone that goes up has to take their own stuff on the way. The other is my kitchen desk,Its our drop zone. It honestly gets piled high with anything and everything. I have a box with a lid on it that small stuff goes into. Looking in it now there is a screw driver,sunglass case,a lipstick,dog medication and a countertop swatch chip. On the desk is also a disaster. Every Monday I go through it all and put it away. Also if I know im having company I can clean up the desk in about 5 minutes. The rest of my house stays clean.

We don't enter via the front door often lol so that half of the house is somewhat clutter free. But even with that, we still find little four year old litter in every nook and cranny. Cars, toys, parts of either, etc.

I guess I'd rather have that than dust (I have both quite often) as well as surprise cat pukes...rare dog stuff (don't ask...it's always some unidentifiable chewed up thing). But I have all of that stuff too. Life is messy! And unfortunately does not come with a maid.

Now off to vacuum up some feathers in the guest suite....ya don't ask!!!

Igloochic, How did I forget the hairballs in life! Yes, I have those surprises too. And,occasionally new puppy surprises, if someone's
bedroom door hasn't been shut. I have to have the living area of my home neat and picked up, hence the daily herding of stuff. The kids rooms
are a work in progress, although I do have one very neat child (YEAH!) out of three:)

Laxsupermom, everyone has given you some great advice. When my three sons were little my house was always a mess. I was a stay at home mom, and I still had trouble keeping up with their lack of tidiness. But something happened that helped me through that time. My older son got a paper route when he was 10. I noticed when we went to collect that most of the houses were as bad or worse than mine! This helped me to not be so anal about things.

So, be patient, it will pass. Do your best, and try not to be a nag about it. They're stifled at school all day and they need to be able to come home and just relax. I found I could let the mess reach a certain level and then I just couldn't stand it any longer. I was happier when I spent a little time each day organizing then to let it get out of hand. Also, I tried to have company over every once in a while, as that forced me to make the place presentable.

Have you ever noticed that people with perfectly clean homes (I mean every nook and cranny) are kind of odd? I'm telling you....the oddest people I know have the cleanest homes.

I take my chaos as a sign of sanity :).

Lax....I am SO GLAD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH THIS SOCK PROBLEM!!
I lol'ed when I read that.
I am sorry, I have nothing to offer, b/c my home is far worse. I have a 16 month old son whose daily mission is to throw plastic toys on the floor in every room. My back aches from bending over and picking up the stuff constantly. I also have 2 daughters, with back packs, American Doll clothes and shoes, and other various items that never make it up to their room.
I really like igloochic's theory. We must be EXTREMELY normal with all our chaos.

I really like your blog, I just bookmarked it.

We did a large addition/remodel that was started because I really wanted a mudroom -- got so tired of the boots, shoes, sports gear in the front hall. So for the most part things got moved to the back of the house, to the mudroom. Much better, but still not perfect. Shoes, books, etc. still ended up in random places, particularly on the steps going upstairs.

And then the SOLUTION: we got a puppy! He chews! That taught us to put away shoes, wallets, hats, sunglasses, homework, newspapers, pens (don't get me started on blue ink/cream carpet...) everything.

I know what you're thinking -- a puppy is not going to make my house cleaner!! OK, you're right, there are tradeoffs. But Hendrix the kooky Labradoodle has very effectively taught us to put our shoes away!

A great big THANKS! to everyone, both for the solutions and the laughs. You're right igloo, it's the spotless homes that are the oddballs.

jilljohn, I think you voiced what I didn't. As a SAHM, I feel tremendous guilt that I'm not doing better. It's stupid, I know.

chicagoans, we're dealing with hairballs from the kitty, I don't know that we could take on puppy stuff, too. Too funny, though, about him helping you guys put stuff away.

Lax....my darling...I am a sahm now as well. My home is not spotless...I tell myself it's because it's too large for one person to take care of....and in reality it is, but my 2100 sq ft home wasn't spotless either. I have to beg my mother to come in about once every six weeks to spend the day folding laundry (my terminal downfall).

My mom says I need a system. I sat her down sternly and said....I don't want a system....I want a life! If life is getting in the way of a spotless home, than honestly....you are living it the right way. If I chose to play race cars with my son verses playing laundry folder....I will bet you he remembers that more than he remembers me folding laundry. Enjoy life guilt free...a little chaos is good for the soul...and heart.

I agree with what has been said already. One thing that has helped me a lot is that I would measure my house against my friends' houses and would forget that they cleaned like demons before having guests over, just like I do. I just assumed everyone's houses looked like that normally and mine was the odd one with the daily clutter.

Another thing which is very important to me, is to housetrain our sons so that they go out into the world as functioning adults. I do not want my future daughters-in-law to curse me every time our sons leave a mess. My husband and his brother were not taught to clean up for themselves and had a martyr of a mother who wanted them to live home until at least 60 (yet somehow give her grandchildren). It has been a great source of friction in my house and my brother and sister in law once actually separated because of his throwing his laundry on the floor instead of the laundry basket (the fight was actually about his disrespecting her by doing that and his resentment that he worked several jobs while she spent money like crazy, but the laundry thing did not help the situation). It is a recurring "disagreement" in our house about dh's pitching in more.

I had a very neat mother who was very strict about keeping the house neat at all times and I was neat as a young child naturally. Therefore, I rebelled and have battled clutter since I got older. I work on it all the time and find that I am great at organizing an area only to let things slide back over time. We are renovating/extending in the coming days and I hope to have figured out better storage in the new plan and also have made it clear to my darling sons and husband that there will be little tolerance for stuff all over the place. I have been working hard on not allowing the messes to take over and will continue to do so. One son in particular walks in the house and it is like he exploded. Both kids are usually almost naked within minutes of getting home (and we live in NY with cold winters, lol).
We have started a system when they have to earn "screen time" (i.e. tv, computer, DS, Wii, etc...). They have a chance to earn 20 minutes each for "neatness", "listening to mom and dad" and "being nice to my brother". They get "graded" 3 times a day, a.m., afterschool/afternoon, & night (after dinner). There is a chance of earning 3 hours a day that way, but they usually get much less. If they get every 20 minute block earned in a day we call that a slam dunk and they are allowed something special for that (i.e. choosing what games we play, having a friend for a playdate, going to a movie, etc...).
I also will never allow a playdate if their room and stuff are not cleaned up. They know that if it is all straightened up, they can almost always have friends over. They are funny in that they say they won't show the friend their room, as if that is why the rule is there. I make it clear that it does not matter as no one comes over unless they have cleaned up. It is the old carrot on a stick trick ;)

BTW - we got a roomba last month, and he helps keep stuff up off the floor as he has "eaten" a few small things. He is the world's greatest pet as he cleans up after us instead of making a mess, lol.

Laxsupermom, you need the sign I (still) have next to my kitchen sink...

Great moms have sticky floors, filthy ovens and HAPPY KIDS.

GRIN

Just keep remembering, this too shall pass...

the days of Fisher Price ease into backpacks which overlap into massive quantities of sports equipment, big shoes, and clothes...then...they move out (hopefully)...and you can have your house any darn way you want it...believe me, you'll miss some of the clutter.

I do...mostly because I have no one to blame it on except me and dh.

Do the best you can. Teach good habits (I failed there! lol) and smile, laugh, and enjoy these days.

Happy (whos' having fun with elipses today...)

I am by nature a very clean person. I cannot stand clutter or dirt around me in my house. My friends are always asking how I keep the house so clean. I find that by doing things every day, there's never a big overwhelming mess to deal with.

We do not wear shoes in the house, so as soon as we enter, off come the shoes and they go in our baskets in the closet.
Coats are hung up immediately.
My purse goes in the same closet on top of my shoe basket.

Doing that takes less than a minute to do and makes a big difference in keeping clutter under control.

My son knows that his toys have to be put away at the end of the day before going to bed. It really does not take long to do as long as it's done every day.

Homework/backup is packed up and goes in same closet, ready to be pulled out the next morning.

I find all this really helps. Now, I am a little crazy (one of those crazy clean people referred to above:-) and I vacuum and mop the main floor every day. Yes, it's crazy, but it makes me happier (when I'm done, not when I'm doing it).

I do realize that not everything can be perfect, and I am ok with that. My DH's office is often a disaster. I close the door so I don't have to see it if it gets bad. The private areas of the house (bedrooms) are not as neat as the downstairs. I'm ok with that. There are only so many hours in a day, so I pick my battles. I like having the public areas of the house presentable at all times. My worst nightmare is when someone stops by and my house is messy (messy to me; I know I have different standards). It just makes me uncomfortable, so I keep those areas clean and tidy most times.

So, for me, for the most part, I do live the way I want to live in terms of clutter and cleanliness. Now, when we talk about the decorating side of things, that's a different story -- always wanting more, dreaming of how it would be if money were not the limiting factor...