Understand, sure! You're getting a nice kitchen, not a dream kitchen. Try not to focus on the cabinets, or blame them. It's not their fault they're not inset. Think about it as a here and now thing. Analogy: For your job you have to wear Dr Martens every day while your soul wants the latest purple Louboutins and strappy Jimmy Choos. In the real world, Docs are expensive, whereas CLs and Choos are not only outrageously priced, the initial outlay doesn't speak to the cost of the pedicures, hose, and podiatrist visits that are necessary to make them wearable. So you get the gorgeous white Vonda boots from Doc Marten, with the embroidered roses and easy entry zipper, and know that you have really wonderful, practical, safe, easy to wear, comfortable, and girly Docs. Not anything like those Louboutins. Can't even compare. But happy making nonetheless.

Let your new cabinets be your Docs. Know that they will serve you and they'll give you toe-room (inset cabinets are known for limiting storage space), and they'll be very good cabinets indeed, all the while knowing that your dream high heels of a kitchen is still out there, and may still be lurking, quietly, on your maybe someday list.

HAHA Love the analogy plllog!

snagd - we do understand and probably all have something in our kitchens/homes we had to "settle" for. Vent away...

I know it's very disappointing not to be able to--

- Lose huge amounts of drawer and cabinet space
- Watch weird gaps open around your drawers unevenly as the inset doors expose dark spaces around them
- Have to spend an extra grand when you suddenly discover than only a European dishwasher will fit into them at the last minute

As a very wise man once said:

"Having is not so pleasing as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

plllog and marcolo

you both always seem to put everything into perspective in such a wonderful way

and yes, I agree that one's heart may wish but sometimes 'settling' turns out just as marvelous in a different way

I dreamed for years for a farmhouse sink but just could not do it in my space

Am I disappointed with my kitchen?
Not at all
I absolutely positively truly LOVE it, enjoy being in it and working in it even more.

I am certain that you will too

Now you need to turn your thoughts and energy over to the many many many other decisions and details that will make your kitchen the place you want it to be

You know what...you may not even notice it once the whole kitchen is done. Example: Beekeeperswife's kitchen is roundly admired on this site and on a number of blogs. I've seen and admired the pictures many times. I happened across the pictures again yesterday. And it was the first time that I noticed exactly what style her cabinets were...and they're not inset.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with overlay doors, and a lot right with them as others have pointed out.

Here is a link that might be useful: Bee's fab kitchen--with overlay cabs!

At one point in any process, we all obsess and gnaw on details, at the risk of losing our sense of proportion. You're understandably obsessing over the cabinets not being inset; I promise, someone with inset cabs is weeping bitter tears over the bead detail on those insets being 1/8'' too large. Move on, and you'll eventually be able to see the forest for the trees. You'll see a room with the colors, textures, shapes, and flow that you hoped for, and a 1'' strip of face frame will recede to the minor thing that it is. Later still, you'll focus on the food and friends in your kitchen. And someday you'll wonder why it even mattered whether the cabs were inset.

I, too, was set on inset cabinets. Every inspiration picture I cut out had inset cabinets. Then we got the pricing for the cabinets for the whole house and had to make some changes. The obvious was the inset cabinets, so I changed to European overlay and saved quite a bit. Then the cabinet maker told me he thought that was really the best decision since our house was more contemporary than traditional. They are just beginning the install now, and I must say, they are absolutely beautiful; classic and timeless. I know I will never worry about what I didn't get.

I felt this way when Matt Damon filled out and I had to settle for a fantasy romance with Jon Hamm. Matt has only himself to blame and I am occasionally wistful for him in the first Bourne movie but Jon is really working out - and at least with Jon I don't have that annoying Ben Afflek calling in at the most inopportune times.There's always an upside.

Reread your headline. Then ask yourself "What should I have written and what should I be thinking right now?" As Will Rogers said, people are about as happy as they decide they should be. Make yourself happy, not with stuff but with the good things in your day. Your new cabs will be more spacious and will be good for your budget. What's not to like?

I liked plllog's Allegory of the Shoes. I will tell you my
Parable of the Roses (a true story).

Twenty some years ago when I started gardening in this yard, I planted a lovely apricot tea rose. The soil was clay, and there were some mature trees, but I hoped for the best. The rose struggled for a year or two, it got black spot and all the leaves fell off, and I think I only ever got one rose. The next year, the rose came up much stronger, although the leaves looked smaller. When it flowered, it was a deep red single multiflora. Apparently, the apricot died and what came up was the sturdy root stock it had been grafted on. That shrub rose was more floriferous, even in the clay and partial shade, more vigorous, and more resistant to black spot.

I learned that you can't always get what you want, but sometimes what you get is even better.

Well said Ginny20~

Thank you for the very well spoken words of encouragement! So eloquently put:) I think whats really hard is that I left what will probably be my dream kitchen. I was very of proud of how it turned out and really enjoyed being there. My family wanted to move into town so we bought a 1913 fixer upper. I really felt like the inset would be perfect for the space. I appreciate all the advice and words of wisdom..i hope i can pull the 'handcrafted' look in through other ways.thank you!

I thought Marcolo's post summed it up perfectly. I have a friend who has inset cabinets. They are nothing but a PITA. I think climate you live in makes a big difference. Here, we have temperature swings of 100 degrees between summer and winter, and in winter it's as dry as the sahara, and in summer it's like the Amazon rain forest. My friend's inset cabinets stick in summer, and show too much spaces in winter. Most of all, they are really cramped for space, particularly in the drawers. My friend regrets her romantic notion of a charming Martha Stewart country kitchen, and wishes she instead had carefree and spacious frameless cabinets like mine. She also could have used the $$ savings...

i'd be happier with frameless cabinets (in the base cabinets).