I can! For me #4 struck a chord. When we redid our kitchen (a huge, hugely expensive project, so not to be redone) nearly 4 years ago I felt the need to be "safe" with some of my choices.

Like I CRAVED either a hot pink or lime green island -- something bright and fun.

Our island is black.

My heart wanted glass uppers, but I was "afraid" (truly) of the mess which would be inside, of feeling the need to be so tidy (like living in a magazine -- as if!), that it would be on display.

So we have solid doors.

As a result, it's a bland sea of white doors. Luckily my children have donated their artwork which I've taped on the cab fronts so I do get some color that way.

I wanted a fantastical Chihulyesque multicolor chandelier to hang over the island but thought it would "be in the way" ... of my awesome eye! In all fairness on that one I think we were toward the end of the project so also out of dinero.

So we didn't do it.

In my children's bedrooms I had their walls painted the most tasteful, elegant P&L Bone White -- lovely. Boring. Not me, and not how I thought of my children living. I wanted exuberance! But instead thought "best to do something 'safe,' which is good for resale" (which is so dumb because we had / have no plans of moving). So now I am in the midst of painting mattress ticking in my eldest's and multicolored dots in my youngest. Silver lining: the Bone White is the perfect base for these endeavors, but it's the point that I was AFRAID (at first) of living how *I* want to live. I made the "safe" choice(s).

Et cetera.

Even though I know what I want in the kitchen and am no longer hiding behind the "safe" choice I'm now held back on painting the island by what a chore it will be and the durability. But in my heart and mind, that hot pink island is wicked!

Mostly #5. I don't care about other people's opinions, or trends much at all. But I sometimes put off non-life changing decisions and I am definitely afraid of not having something turn out perfectly (at least whatever the floating criteria may be)

rmkitchen you need to look into the new(ish) Annie Sloan Chalk Paint. I haven't used it yet but have been reading about it all over blogland and just spoke with a local distributor this weekend. I can't wait to try it - it's the perfect product for what you want because it's so low (often none) prep. And if you aren't happy with the color you picked you don't need to prep to go right over it with another choice - a hot pink island would be HOT!

pal I'm right there with you on #5. I am my own worst critic and need to just shut off that voice in my head. As for the opinions of others, I'll ask, but more for ideas than validation. But there are some people's opinions that do matter to me and if they aren't in sync, THEN it's trouble. If Susie says black and Janey says white and I think both of them are creative and have a great eye, then I can get frozen!

I'm also mostly guilty of #5, and like dlm, I get tired of something that I haven't even done yet!

I'm guilty of #1 which traps me into #4. I'm in the never-ending loop of doing nothing which is why, after moving back into our house a year ago after a whole house reno, it still isn't decorated hence no kitchen pictures on the kitchen forum.

I like this blog post! It speaks to me, and is thought provoking, even if I don't exactly line up with the numbered points.

The state of mind I can relate to most is described by #5...pertaining not to decorating, but to remodeling.

Since I'm not a designer or contractor, I hope my materials/finishes/choices, create the vision I am imagining! Not aiming for perfection, just what's in my head, which is a picture of a bathroom that's a whole lot more attractive and functional than it currently is!

Since I'm not hiring a designer or GC, and I'm not a pro, I am feeling some fear! But...I'm feeling the fear and doing it anyway, to paraphrase a book title.

Nice thread, Dlm!

I am definitively a fearful decorator. But the fear is well based. I simply can't afford to make mistakes. Even repainting something at $35 a gallon, is not my idea of a simple matter.

#6. I know exactly what I want but it doesn't exist or I can't afford it.

What a no-nonsense approach:

"Don�t let the fear of making a wrong decision override the fun you can have creating a beautiful home. Decorating is an art, not a science.

It doesn�t have to be perfect to be beautiful."

I like her attitude!

#6. I know exactly what I want but it doesn't exist or I can't afford it.

That happens to me all the time, and is probably my biggest decorating problem.

Also #7 - I can make that myself - but I never find the time to actually do it.

Oh, I can definitely relate to #6. Don't think that signals fearful decorating, just the frustrating kind!

I decorate out of fear, and I am guilty of #1, but slightly differently. I don't take forever to decide, but I second guess every decision I make and then pretty much torture myself as to whether I did the right thing. Also, I am guilty of #2- I ask people's opinions, and since usually people will answer positively (probably out of politeness!) I try to figure out whether they're really telling the truth.

Interesting post.
1. and 5. - are related and definitely describe me.
2. - I only ask questions on GW as I have no one else to ask
3. and 4. - I really care don't what others think. I'd post more finished pics on here but don't want to baffle those that have helped me.

Gosh, I could on for hours about this blog post - so accurate & concise.

So many dreams unfulfilled is debilitating & depressing.

~ Jeana Joseph

5. You don't start, don't finish or don't try because you are terrified of imperfection....

I relate most to this one except it's not that I'm terrified of imperfection. It's that I'm afraid to start because I may run out of time, money, energy or inspiration and the project will be left half finished - looking worse than when I started.

I know this because...*sigh*....been there, done that.

Oh my..... I think I can relate to all 5 of the choices.
I am so not a decorator but would love to have the talent that you other forum buddies have. I read threads here and just marvel at the talent.
Slowly but surely I will get there..

TERRIKS GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! #7 I can make that myself - but I never find the time to actually do it. That's the story of my life. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time I've said that and inspected the item I intend to rip off, er... use as inspiration ;-) I'd be a wealthy woman! However, if I had to give back said nickel for every incomplete intention, I'd be worse off than I am now!

#5, with a side dish of #7 for me. I have put off things until the last possible moment (uh, when the For Sale sign hits the front yard) that I thought might not turn out "right"... in our last house we had one bathroom without a working sink for oh, I don't know, a year? because I was convinced I couldn't find one that was 1) the right size 2) that would coordinate with the tile and 3) the right price. Once the house was going to be sold, it took me all of maybe an hour to find what I wanted online and order it, and it took my handyman about seven minutes to install it. Doh!

I can relate to all of them (except #4, as I'm not into trends all that much really). See my threads about my current work in progress!

I know I'm a novice, and therefore, I don't trust myself completely to make the decisions. Yet, I really don't want to turn over everything to a decorator either.

For me, it's not just about the finished product, but the process of creating something. I enjoy it.

I just wish it would come easier for me!

I'm guilty of asking opinions and then getting overwhelmed. I usually have to completely stop for some time and sort throught things. If I think back to the things I used to post about on here, I believe I'm making some progress, lol.

Dlm - Somewhat hijacking - I don't know if I actually ever said thank you but when I was going back and forth about painting my kitchen cabinets your post hit me the right way that I didn't go through with it. I'm still not wild about my cabinets but painted isn't what I truly want either. While I like the look in magazines and other homes, I was trying to convince myself I'd enjoy living with it. I believe knowing white is more popular than light oak also was impacting my decision. I'm very glad I left them alone for now. So thanks! :)

It's not fear that keeps me from getting things accomplished around home. It's purely that I have no concept of time what-so-ever and it just plain gets away from me.
I know what I like and for the most part can make it happen either myself or with the help of my hubby. The problem there often is convincing him my idea is awesome, (wink), or that it will work. Since we speak different versions of the English language I have found that drawing pictures helps. Allot!

#1 but it's not usually fear that makes me put something off, it's the desire to do the work. Most of my projects require an investment in time and labor for myself and I have to be really excited about the result or in the mood for the mess I create.

I do have an issue spending a lot of money on something, though. It takes me a LONG time to convince myself it's worth the investment.

"I know I'm a novice, and therefore, I don't trust myself completely to make the decisions. Yet, I really don't want to turn over everything to a decorator either"

Oh my goodness what a therapeutic thread this is!!!

I've been a designer for 30 yrs & I can tell you that you all are every client I've ever had - so you all are normal & not alone!!!

As for those who "wish they had talent" - The world needs all of us & our talents. Whatever you all are good at other than design, I CAN'T DO!!! I marvel at people with skills other than mine!!!

And as for trusting designers - design should always be a partnership & collaboration, not dictatorship!!! A designer should always design with the individuality of the client & no one else. I get very frustrated (& frankly, insulted) when a client asks everyone in the world what they think about choices. OMG!!! It's YOUR house & YOUR money!!! There comes a time when TRUST is needed with your designer & YOURSELF. I have found that clients are much more creative & talented than they give themselves credit for.

Money does not = GOOD DESIGN. It is not necessary to spend a lot of money. A good designer can save you lots of money in fact, far outweighing their fees.

I have to say at times to clients - STOP OBSESSING!!! I don't know if it's the HGTV Effect or what. And speaking of HGTV...it's been a blessing & curse for designers. I tell clients that the rooms they do on there are never YOUR room, YOUR lighting, YOUR lifestyle. And frankly, there are very few on HGTV to emulate.

It is indeed, a process. Sometimes we all need to take a deep breath & relax & LIVE.

This is wonderful feedback from all of you from a designer's perspective. I've always been fascinated by these very things that get in our way. Very honest & cathartic. I hope you all don't mind my minor rant & input.

You guys are AWESOME!!!

~ Jeana Joseph

Jeana, if I were the type that hired a designer you'd be the perfect choice. You have the right attitude to help someone make their home just that "their" home. Bravo !

Thanks!!! :-)

Now if I could figure out how to post pics here like you guys do to be more helpful, we'll have a great partnership!!! (See, I told you I can't do what you do!!!)

~Jeana

Jeana I agree - that was a very refreshing point of view to read here from a designer. I don't have time to link you to photo instructions (if you do a search you'll find it) but most likely someone will jump in and do it for you so keep checking back. I look forward to your input.

And it would be nice to know a bit more about you, too. Since you're new, we're all as unknown to you as you are to us, but many of us have some 'history' and know a bit about each other's homes, locations, etc. Tell us your story! As much as you're comfortable sharing - no pressure ;-)

Here you go Jeana....

Here is a link that might be useful: Using HTML on the Garden Web for photos, links and such.

Thanks you guys!!! I'm gonna try to digest the instructions...the computer is really a big hang-up for me!!! I'd have a blog by now if only I knew how to navigate this darn thing!!! LOL!!!

I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you - such a nice community so far!!!

About me: I'm semi-retired due to illnesses (fibromyalgia & arthritis)after 30 yrs as a designer. So as not to bore you, I'll keep my background short & sweet, but feel free to ask questions.

I was very fortunate to work for a large regional furniture store when I was in my 20's. I worked at the flagship store in Visual Merchandising & Accessory Manager. I was an extremely hard worker & pretty darn spunky. The owner of the stores liked my style & took me under his wing. Even though he had a stable of VERY talented designers at the store, he chose me to design his new house. The design manager got really upset at this & insisted that I work with one in her stable. The designer was fired from the project a few months in due to dropping the ball. Then it was all me. Well, the house ended up as an 8 page spread in a design magazine. From that I got jobs with pro athletes & state & national political figures, plus tons of Dream Homes, Decorators Showhouses, etc. This was all great...unlimited budgets, prestige, great parties, etc, except that I was treated horrible by these rich muckety-mucks. I was merely a means to their end of their one-upping each other & the excess & waste was just appalling.

Then I got a call from a woman in the projects who had saved up to $3000 for years...all she had. She wanted me do design her living room. I was stunned at what she wanted, but felt the need to make this work somehow. When it was done, she cried like a baby. I had actually changed her life for the better - unlike the idiot rich people. It was then that I knew I'd never go back to designing for the rich.

The rest of my career was geared toward "everyday people" helping them create a pleasing environment on a budget. I have been very fulfilled doing this. I have a great resume & all, but it was this woman in the projects who changed MY life. I chose a very simple life & moved to a much smaller city, & never again pursued the limelight & "fame" as a REALLY high-end designer.

That's the crux of my design & life philosophy - live simply but beautifully, surround yourself with people & things you love, embrace anything organic & real, & never pursue what you don't have to make you happy or accepted.

...and that's me in a nutshell kids...

Thanks gotabeme...my head hurts. LOL!!! I think you guys are just gonna have to put up with my words & no images...:-(

~Jeana

Love the story about the woman in the projects. Thanks for sharing all this. You sound like a really nice person with great decorating skills!

Jeana,

here's the non-head-hurting way to post photos:

1) Open an account in Photobucket (click the Photobucket link at the bottom of this message)

2) Upload your photos to Photobucket (when you log on to your account, click the big Upload button)

3) Below the photo that you want to link, click the box for HTML code, which looks similar to this:

That will copy the correct code into your clipboard

4) In the Forum where you want to post a picture, go to the Message box and in the message box press Ctrl-V to paste the code you just copied. You can type any explanation you want before or after the code.

You'll see something that might make your head explode, but don't worry.

5) Click the Preview Message button below the message box, You'll see any message you typed plus the picture.

6) If you like what you see, press the Submit Message button. If you don't see the picture, you most likely clicked on the wrong Photobucket box. Delete the head-exploding code, go back to Photobucket and click the HTML box. Repeat steps 3 to 6 until you like what you see.

Here is a link that might be useful: Photobucket

Let me just write the most important info, from the link gotabeme included... that way you can easily (without uploading photos to photobucket) post any photo you find anywhere on the internet. (Also if you open a photobucket account, don't use your real name in the account name unless you want it to appear in the properties of the photos.)

To post any random photo you find: first, get the URL for the photo. (You can right-click on the photo and select 'properties' to do this. Sometimes if the photo is opened into it's own page, the URL in the address bar is also the right one.)

Then, include it in this code:

DO NOT include the first space, between the bracket and img, or the last space, between the quotation mark and bracket. I only included them here to avoid this code showing up as a red x. DO include the quotation marks and the space between img and src.

Preview your message... if it shows up properly there, it will show up properly.

If the photo is too big, add width=450, like this:

(Again, same deal with the spaces and quotation marks, as explained above.)

Anyway, regarding the thread topic... I do not identify with points 2-5, but I DO identify with point 1. And I am the queen of getting sick of an idea I haven't even executed yet! Of course that only further delays change. By the time I get around to doing something, I've decided I want to do it another way, so I sit on that for awhile... change my mind... and so on.

I'm guilty. Of all of them to a point. I put stuff off mostly due to money. I ask opinion's of people who seem to have design abilites. I don't do something sometimes because one of the people I asked an opinion didn't like the idea. I don't follow trends but I do worry about the "rules" on occasion. I don't worry about magazine perfection but I do want everything to look as nice and complete as possible so I don't do anything.

I need help. LOL

Loved the 'Signs' and just what I needed for a pick-me-up this afternoon --

Decorating is THE ONE area of my life where I have NO FEAR. I've broken just about every decorating rule I ever heard -- most often with really good results. My house is unlike any other I have ever seen (though I've freely stolen ideas) and I just love the way it makes me feel. It's a study in contrasts -- rustic stone and crystal chandeliers, Asian antiques and modern art glass, antique silhouettes of 300-yr old relatives and Picaso-esque cubist oils. But then, that's why it fits me!

RMKitchen - PAINT THAT ISLAND PINK!
I've had a barn red island for about 7 years now and I LOVE it. And seeded glass hides a multitude of interior messes.

Jeana - I loved your story! Welcome to the group, and we're delighted to have you here.

Thanks everyone for your graciousness!!!

I really have a fear of the computer & get very frustrated. My brain just doesn't work very well anymore with the fibro & meds & am easily confused. On one of my "good days" I will make the attempt to experiment with posting pics. Until then, I'll have to depend on the URL links.

You really are great people...I hope I can add something worthwhile, but from what I've seen & read, you all are very talented & your passion for your homes is commendable. It's an honor to be amongst you!!!

~Jeana

All of them...especially the GW additions!

Jennifer