Working things out means you forgive and move on. You have not truly forgiven him if the BM talking about her hair upsets you. I could see if she was showing BF some sexy lingerie she bought, but I think you are so sensitive to his cheating even innocent stuff bothers you.

BUT, having said that, why does BF need to skype with a toddler? Really, there's no need for BF to have that much contact with BM.

And when you bring it your concerns with him, instead of him trying to reassure you, he tells you you're overreacting. Ever notice how some guys try to make you feel like you're the crazy one when they're the one doing something wrong?

Now, if he is truly trying to work things out, he would be doing everything he could to show you there is nothing going on between him and BM. He would avoid any unnecessary interaction with BM, but instead he sees nothing wrong with talking to BM about her hair.

I think you are overreacting a little bit about BM talking about her hair, but BF sure isn't helping matters either. I don't think BF is working hard enough to show you he's sorry for cheating on you.

This post was edited by Amber3902 on Tue, Dec 31, 13 at 10:29

If this were to happen to me, my thoughts would be along the lines of,
"He did wrong, & now he's telling me I'm 'overreacting'??? He's got a he!! of a nerve!"

I'm always a fan of clearing the air.

Tell him that commitment to you & to your relationship means that he takes your feelings seriously & respects them, & that he takes responsibility for the hurt & damage he's done.

Amber's mention of that 'crazy' thing reminds me of something I read somewhere:

When a reporter told John Lennon that Cynthia had said that John was messing around with Yoko Ono, John replied...
"Cynthia's crazy."

Psst, Amber I think you misread about the hair thing. The comments were about HIS hair and how BM always loved HIS hair....all the while with the OP sitting right there.

BM is baiting the OP with inappropriate comments and the guy is blowing it off with the statements of the OP overreacting. While the cheating may have been two years ago, it's fairly easy as to why OP can't move pass...the BM is sitting there on Skype openly flirting with the guy.

The cheating wasn't a time or two. It was 6months. Six months during the time that the OP and the guy should have been in the ol 'falling in love stage' where everything is rosy and shiny eyed. Instead this OP got a sneaky cheating untrustworthy BF who two years later is still encouraging the BM to flirt with him. And the OP is overreacting????

How does OP forgive and move on when it's still being played out in front of her even if only by sly comments?

OP, IMO you need to think real hard before deciding if perhaps this open flirting and therefore flaunting in your face their past (and thoughts of potential renewal) is really something you can deal with or if it's time to move on truly and find a guy to fall in love with that will treat you with respect and the way you deserve to be treated.

Oh no, my mistake! JMT - you are right I did misread that. So sorry! That DOES change things.

She's giving him compliments on his hair, basically flirting with him and he doesn't stop it. You are so right this is being playing out right in front of her.

OP, I agree with what Justmetoo is saying. This is so disrespectful to you. Not only has he cheated on you with this girl, but now she's flirting with him right in front of you, and BF says you're the crazy one. You are not wrong to feel the way you do. You are not overreacting.

Ask your BF how would he like it if you started giving compliments to your old boyfriend on the phone? He'll probably give excuses, saying he has to be nice to BM "for the sake of their child". If he does, ask yourself if you want to continue being with a man who disrespects you, but expects you to play mommy for his child.

First of all I don't think I could truly forgive and move past the cheating since the "other woman" will always be a part of our lives in some way. Because they have a child together she is never going to go away... If the OP is truly able to forgive and move past the cheating than I'm thinking she's a bigger person than I am.
That being said, there's no reason that OP's boyfriend needs to have so much interaction with the BM.. Their conversations can and should be kept to anything related to their child only if SOs are having concerns over the current interactions. If the child wants to Skype with Dad than BM can set it up and allow the child and Dad to Skype without anymore involvement from her. And by him claiming she's overreacting, despite the fact that it was his actions that caused this tells me that he's a pretty insensitive jerk.

I'd say that the current flirting is just a variation and continuation of their affair. It may not be physical in nature but it's blatantly in your face. His ex isn't finished with him and he doesn't sound finished with her. That's just my two cents. I guess if you think this guy is really spectacular, you can try to make it work but I bet you'd be happier moving on an finding someone who will treat you well. Heck, you may not even have to deal with a SK, which will make life's challenges easier.

Gerina hit the nail on the head;
this isn't just the ex flirting with OP's partner, partner is engaging in it as well.