Nice to hear from someone who can relate

17 years ago

Thanks so much, Iloveexercise and organic maria. It really helps me to hear that this is not uncommon. I try not to plan things anymore to avoid disappointment, but it is still difficult. People ask us to do things, and we can't commit b/c we never know for sure what's going on, when DSSs will need to leave early, etc. OM, you totally hit a nerve there on the pictures--this is the first time in years that I haven't sent out a family photo card for Christmas. DSSs have been so infrequently that I just haven't had a chance to get a family picture done. I thought about just taking my 2 DSs but I know it wouldn't be right to send out a card w/ just the 2 of them, so I just bought regular cards this year. I guess this will just be something to get used to over the years. Thanks so much for taking time to post!

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Comments (6)

mollymcb
Original Author
17 years ago
I didn't mean to start a new thread here. I was just trying to reply on my thread and something went wrong. Sorry!
organic_maria
17 years ago
Yah , no pictures this year but i told my Dh that next year i will have a family photo and if they do not show up iwll send our photo out and clip two photos of them and add them inthe card. With a note:
Merry christmas from all of us.:)
I will not cancel any pics from now on and i will send out photos and just attach with tape their pics for his family and i will send the only pic with our immediate family to mine. Its cruel but i've endured pic problems for 8 years and frankly i'm disgusted now. My son is missing a photo shoot with me and my husband cause they've cancelled 2 times this year. F them! I'm pist
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imamommy
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Maria, I have the problem that my DS19 refused to be in this years picture with my DH & SD. He went last year (reluctantly) and when they took the picture, the photographer had him put his hand on SD's shoulder. He did, but he gave the one finger salute, which went unnoticed until I had ordered the prints & picked up the pictures to put in our cards. I was so pissed but then calmed down, shrugged and told DH that I am still sending them out. He spent Christmas day (and the week before) explaining to everyone why he was such an ass. It was a lovely picture, except the gesture & not everyone noticed, it was subtle. But, it worked out best to make him explain himself. This year, I let him know I'm disappointed he refused to go (especially since my son came back from the Army & we only had one day to get everyone together) Now he gets to explain why he is absent from this year's picture. I won't worry about it, I give everyone notice so they can be included and if they choose not to, it's not my problem. I don't think it's cruel, my son told me (jokingly I think) to photo shop him in. I don't think so. He doesn't go, he's out & I'm not even going to include a separate picture of him.

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mollymcb
Original Author
17 years ago
It's just as well then that the SKs are not in the photos if they don't want to be! Last year, we did the family photo and DSS 14 had a look on his face like he was in agony. The previous year, I snapped an informal shot of all of our boys horsing around, having a [genuinely] good time, then e-mailed a copy to DSS 14,who promptly forwarded to BM's dad (his grandfather) and sarcastically said, "Don't we look happy?" (I've already been attacked on here before for my DH checking DSS 14's e-mail b/c it violates his privacy, so that boat has sailed. DH no longer has access to DSS14's e-mail and no knowledge of what he does on the computer, so I am sure that makes some people on here very happy. We just hope he doesn't befriend an axe murderer!
organic_maria
17 years ago
That;s just awful! i would be soooo pist as well with that pic....but i know if i send a photo ofus excluding the kids, i know my Dh's sister ( THE SNOB!) will have her say...i'm seriously thinking of not sending photos to her and i think i will just send photos to my family. They understand the situation and would not say a peep if the SK's weren't in the photos..God knows i've complained to them int he past and they kept telling meot go ahead without them. And the guilt would get to me. BUT i did have a photo shoot of me , dh and my son inthe park. i proudly have placed the pic over our fireplace. I know SD frowns on it but too bad....she's reject family photos from the beginning....but you never know ...it may change one year..lol...
i'm going to have drink to relax...maybe a black russian! kick up my feet and watch my son kick some butt on playstation!
mollymcb
Original Author
17 years ago
OrganicMaria, you go girl! :-)

Nice to hear from someone who can relate

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