I haven't posted in a LONG time, and with the new year coming up, I thought I'd drop by and say hello. I've been extremely busy in the last couple of months (SS18 returned home from 6 month stint in rehab and is finishing his senior year, DD15 started high school, DD10 is adjusting to being a "tweenager" w/ attitude, and DS5 started kindergarten), plus a few of the posters here can be so negative and hard on stepmoms and blended families. But I think the biggest reason I haven't been here is that things have been going really well for my family. It's true - this forum may not be representative of all stepfamilies, because the happy ones aren't here!

I wanted to share with everyone here that it is possible to have a happy, blended stepfamily. If someone had told me this a year ago, I would have disagreed. But it's true!

A year ago, both of my SSs were not happy with me - the SS18 (whom I had always been closed to since he was about 10 years old) was using drugs and alcohol, blaming me for his unhappiness. His BioMom had moved back to our area to "save" SS18 from our horrible home, he had moved in with her, and his addictions spiraled out of control, mostly due to the fact that she allowed him to do whatever he wanted. My SS21 somehow also blamed me for his brother's unhappiness.

I don't exactly know what happened, but I am sure that the amount of introspection that SS18 went through in rehab, while sober, allowed him to see a clearer picture of his life. He came back home very happy and very willing to be a part of our family.

He wrote a paper about his family for his English class. He mentions something about everyone, and this is what he wrote about me: "My stepmom Tammy is a very caring mother and loves everything about all her kids, even when she she seems up to her eyeballs with them." It's funny, because a year ago he thought I was so horrible. I think he finally understands that everything I do for him, as his stepmom, I do out of love, not because I have to, but because I want to.

I may have mentioned this in an earlier post, but DH told me during the terrible time son was in rehab, "This may be the worst year for our family, but it has been the best year for our marriage." He said this because we were really able to stick together and support each other through a very trying time.

Anyway, I wanted to share this with you all. There is hope. My hope for the new year is that all of you find the peace and happiness you deserve!