Hello everyone,

I just wanted to say that since I have found this website on step parenting I feel so relieved.

This morning, I have read several posts that date to July and even earlier in 2006. I cannot believe how many traits and experiences we step parents share.

For years, I really and honestly thought that if my relationship with my oldest SD wasn't working out, it was because of me. I swear to God I did everything to be nice to her and accept her just like I accepted the other two step children. I realized she was the daughter of my hubbie and I had no choice but to love her and be kind towards her. As the years went by, my feelings for her would sway to '' i just don't like this kid'' to '' she is just a kid. She'll be nicer and more respectful towards me as she grows up''. But that is not what is happening and the more I know her, more I dislike her to the point now where I just can't even stand her being around me! I do everything to avoid seeing her when she is around.

For the last year or so, I have made an effort to detach myself from SD cuz I realized we have absolutely nothing in common other than I am with her father.

What I retain most from reading other step parents stories, is that I have to stop giving to her and just be myself towards her. Again this morning, I was thinking of going out and buying her another christmas gift so she would have something to open on xams day. But why should I do that!!! She will be getting her xmas gift this week cuz she told her father she needed the money this week and not at Christmas. I am not expecting a thank you either from her this moneyt his week. She knows it comes from her father and I but she never says thanks to me.

Because of all the anger I have towards her now, i don't really care if she has something to open or not on Xmas day. I've never felt like this in the past. I have always given in and bought her something whether it was for her birthday or xams!

It will be the third year in a row that she comes to my home on xmas empty handed and nothing to offer me or her father....not even a card!

This may be mean of me to say, but I can't wait to see her reaction on xmas day when she'll see I haven't gone out for anything extra for her this year!

I sure will be thinking of alot of the posts I have read here of people who have stopped giving to step children who have been ignorant towards them for years - like many other step parents who come here, never once have I even received a single birthday card from this 26 year old SD whom I've had in my life for the last 18 years. What is wrong with these people!!!!

Note : after rereading my post, i realize my English is not very good. Please excuse me. My first language is French.

Merci.