Not knowing the weather you have, I would skip the initial starter fertilizer, and spray. Get the weed be gone concentrate and the dial sprayer that goes on the end of the hose. I say this as it would be quicker then individual spraying. One spray and the dandelions will be gone. You should see them dying within a day. As far as cutting, spray first then wait a couple of days then cut, that way there is more leaves to get the weed be gone on and you can see them. Watering shouldn't matter as long as the weed be gone has time to dry on the leaves, Remember if you follow what I say you're watering anyway. I will leave the time between steps to more experts, but if it was me, I'd wait a week since the initial spray. Bill

I completely understand your jealousy with bm now being involved and the kids acting like bm was never gone. My skids bm has been in and out of their lives for years and each time she called or saw them they acted like she was so wonderful and was mom of the year. Nevermind that it would be months till the next call....or that her boyfriend would be drunk the whole time the kids were there...or that bm would just sit them in front of the tv all day and the kids heard "noises" coming from bm's room during the day when the door was closed (afternoon quickie perhaps??). Anyways it would upset me so much down deep to hear them say anything good about her because all I could think about was the bad!! And how much time and energy I was putting forth to do the motherly things she did not do. It just about killed me for her to get any credit! There is no easy was to deal with those feelings. You just have to let them go somehow. Realize that the kids love you both. And she gets it easier because she is the bm....she has their unconditional love. And they will put the absent parent on a pedestal and hang on every good thing that parent does. But when they are grown they will have so many more memories with you and remember all the things you did for them. When they have their own kids they will remember talks you had with them and things you did. As for her babying them, well you can't change it. Just keep on with your normal routines at home and they will soon see that they can do XYZ at their moms house and they have to do XYZ when they are at home. But look at the bright side. They are getting to see their sober mom and have a relationship with her, which is better for them in the long run that having her absent and them blaming themselves for it. And if she spends the whole day playing with them be greatful....she could be spending the whole day sleeping and letting them do god knows what! OR she could be having boyfriends over all day.

Ima, I'm not assuming that most people's silence has to do with support or no support. Please see my above post to JNM about that. KKNY and TOS also reminded me of my own Mom, even though I think we are close to the same age. When I started posting here and throughout my marriage and stepfamily issues, much of what both of these ladies posted really bothered me. I didn't want to hear about second marriage statistics or other such negative stuff, either. My own Mom had done enough to make me "miserable" throughout my courtship and marriage to what is now my ex-husband and I really didn't need to hear any more. Especially when I came to this forum for support. I married a divorced guy, and a freshly divorced one at that. He had been in a long-term marriage and had two adult daughters. My Mom didn't like the situation at all. She told me I should call his ex and find out why they really got divorced and who was really the cheater. She asked me why he was in such a hurry to get married again when he just got out of a long-term marriage. She told me that his daughters would always resent me. My Mom also said many men will tell a woman they are wooing that they had been in a loveless marriage and hadn't had sex or slept with their ex's for a long, long time before the divorce. Ouch. That is what my ex told me. And that's what KKNY and TOS said, too. But how would my Mom know anything - she's been happily married to my Dad for 53 years. I did end up on this forum because of dysfunctional step family issues that were making me miserable. And the things KKNY and TOS stated didn't help me at all. I needed support, not a bucket of cold water thrown in my face. If I wanted that, all I had to do was talk to my Mom. When I say this, I truly mean it. I still believe in love and I hope that everyone on this forum, including you, enjoys a long and successful second marriage and that their stepfamily issues get peacefully resolved. And I do think it is possible, but there are many challenges along the way. My marriage did not work out. I was able to get a legal annulment after five years of marriage, rather than a divorce. Of course there is a story behind that and it isn't pretty and I can only pray that story remains private and kept with those that I truly trust, my attorney and the judge. That is why the privacy thing is so huge to me. After the annulment, as I pondered my life and my future, I eventually came back into this forum to look back at my past and I forced myself to read my old posts. I saw one I wrote, just a few weeks before I discovered what he was up to, in which I went on and on about how much I loved him and what a wonderful husband he was. Though it was hard to read, I got through it. I went further back into some of the posts in which I had exchanges with KKNY and TOS and in which I dismissed them as being bitter trouble makers. And what I saw were two ladies who have been deeply hurt and who are devoted mothers. They say what they think, most definitely, but they speak from the reality of their lives and their experiences. I don't see them as bitter, and unable to move on, but rather that they state the ex-wives point of view and the stepchild's point of view and the reasons for those points of view. It is somewhat unpleasant to acknowledge, but I think they are probably accurate in what they say about those points of view. The points of view of the bio mom and the step child are really pretty important if there is any hope of trying to build some sort of a solid foundation as a step family with a happy future. And even if the bio mom is less than involved, she is still the mother and she will resent it if you try to "replace" her. Tough as it is, I think it is the truth. And I know your situation may at times seem impossible, but I think if you could somehow disengage from the anger you feel toward your SD's bio mom it might help improve the situation over time. I do think that is the best hope you would have for some peace with the situation because no one will win if you continue to fight one another. I also hope that there is some way that you, TOS and KKNY can start over again. Best wishes, June

"Well, the biggest piece is a 20-year-old Ethan Allen sofa. The fabric was navy in a former life, but is faded & torn now. Conceivably, someone might want it to reupholster. Perhaps I could sell it for cheap then give the money to charity." No offense, but it doesn't sound like an item that many people would want or could use. Reupholstering is pretty pricey anyway so that wouldn't be anyone's bargain. I'd suggest paying to have it removed. As you say, that gives someone some money for doing the labor. And before I get jumped on by those who will say 'beggars can't be choosers' etc, I think that in today's world of mass production when there are a lot of decent items being discarded, charities shouldn't be expected to come haul off decades old, faded and torn heavy furniture. That is a service to you, not the charity. I've called Salvation Army and also a homeless assistance agency here in my town, similar to what has already been described. They have a 'showroom' in which families transitioning from shelters to permanent homes can pick out what they need. Then again I tend to be a serial remodeler, unfortunately. So the stuff I've been discarding is relatively new and although not top of the line, still in pretty good condition. I do have a massive tv armoire that was cheap to begin with and now has the back coming apart, the door hanging etc. I'm going to have my son take that to the trash station when I get ready to replace it; I wouldn't donate it because it is junk. Ann