our holiday scheduling frustration

16 years ago

This year, as every year, we split Christmas Eve and Day, and split the winter school break as evenly as possible with NCP mom. When a proposed calendar was sent to her, she complained that she did not have enough of the break time before the Christmas to do "holiday things" . . . though the first day of break was Friday and it was then our weekend . . . so we're talking about 1 day here! She did have her regular 3 day weekend the one prior. Regardless, we gave her Saturday night and Sunday of our weekend in addition to her 3 day weekend, and sold our tickets to the Nutcracker we had already purchased for Saturday night as it was to be our weekend.

Long story short, what did she do with these additional days as well as the prior weekend? NOT ONE STINKING THING. Look at lights? No. Go to see family or friends? No. Holiday baking? Nope. Christmas movies with a bowl of popcorn? Not a one. Visit one of the MANY fun holiday things to do in our town - several that we had planned to do on our weekend? No chance. All this stink over additional time and for what? Nothing more than to make sure we didn't get to do any of the above. A little back story - she made several snide comments last year about all the fun holiday activities we do as a family with all 3 kids - even the annual picture with Santa.

So I ask why? Why the big show of needing this time? Sure plans change, and everyone can have great intentions, but come on. Does this seem a bit underhanded?

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Comments (5)

finedreams
16 years ago
I understand your frustration, it is possible she just wanted to piss you off. But is it possible they did something what might not seem interesting for you, but has some value to her? Maybe she just sat and talked to the kids, it can be important. I don't know the age but sometimes something very simple things might mean a lot to the kids and to the mom. Sometimes more than fun activities.
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sweeby
16 years ago
Nicely said Finedreams -- I agree -- Not to minimize your frustration NotMartha, which is well-placed.

But some of the best time I spend with my son is simply cuddled up on the sofa or in bed watching TV. At almost 17, he still likes to snuggle with Mom, and that time is precious. He appears to feel "too old" to do most activities with me, but clearly still values the connection as much as I do.
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justnotmartha
Original Author
16 years ago
Not minimized at all - I completely agree with you both that the smallest things are often the *biggest.* In this situation though, the whole argument was that she needed time to go out and do the fun activities, and that we got to do them all last year and she did not (though she still had her 3 day weekends.)
I don't stand here preaching get out and do do do . . . but our family really loves the holidays and likes to get out and do a lot of fun seasonal things. Had she not made such a stink that we gave up our time and plans for her to do do do . . . and then do nothing, I wouldn't care in the slightest if they sat in their house all weekend.
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finedreams
16 years ago
I would be upset to give up Nutcracker tickets that you obviously got ahead of time. I don't like to cancel plans. Oh well. MY SO's X does it with her grown children. She is upset that they do not spend time with her over the holidays, so she naggs and naggs, so they cancell plans with dad and go to her. But she ends up saying she does not want to go out, they sit around the house and then in few hours she says she has other plans and has to leave or simply says she is too tired. On few ocassions she insisted they stay with her not with dad, so she picked them up: one from colege adn the other one at airport, dropped tham at her house and left for some festivities with her boyfriend and didnot show up until they were already sleeping. And it is after throwing a fit that kids don't stay with her! We live in the area where without the car you stuck in the house, can't even go to 7Eleven. So you cannot invite your kids, promise all kind of fun and then simply leave. They end up stuck in the house and looking for a ride. It is all done to piss her X off.
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gardenandcats
16 years ago
In the end its the kids that lost out. It sounds to me like she wanted to ruin your plans. but in the end the kids plans were ruined. I'm sure they would of enjoyed the fun holiday times going out to seasonal things! And missing the nut crackers when you had all ready bought the tickets. next year make your plans and stick to them..
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our holiday scheduling frustration

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finedreams

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our holiday scheduling frustration

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finedreams

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justnotmarthaOriginal Author

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justnotmartha
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