Stepgrandparents screaming in kids' faces

23 years ago

Posting for a friend who does not have Internet access:

Both my sister's husbands parents hate her kids. They treat them horribly. The kids dont want to go, my my sister tries to get out of it, but her husband insists. He and my sister have one child of there own and the parents just love that baby. My brother in law took the kids to his parents one afternoon when my sister was working and apparently both of them screamed in the kids' faces after they took milk out of the refrigerator (they asked). They then made the kids stay out on the porch for an hour (it was cold and rainy) and my niece heard them talking on the phone to someone about how they are sick of those brats and how dare their son bring those bastards over. My niece and nephew are ten and eight. I think I need to bud in. My sister was furious when she found out but her husband will not intervene.

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Comments (7)

RosieL
23 years ago
I think her husband and the grandparents are idiots to treat children in such a way. I would treat a dog in the street with more consideration than they show for those poor things. My baby brother has a step daughter and I often completely forget that she is not his by birth. My parents take her for weekends and shopping trips just as they do the two other children that were born of the relationship. Anyone that could be that mean to a child is evil. Your sister needs to get some backbone and say that if they cannot behave like normal people, they will see NONE of the children and if DH doesn't agree - maybe she should dump his behind as well because he should be just as concerned about his step children as about his bio child.
tlescak
23 years ago
This situation is easily resolved. Tell your sister never to send the kids to their stepgrandparents' house. Then they won't have to put up with the "little bastards".

Don't go where you're not welcome. It's a pretty easy formula to remember.
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mom_2_4
23 years ago
How DARE THEY treat these kids this way! These kids deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, regardless of how the step-grandparents feel about them. Too bad your sister is married to a Mama's Boy who doesn't have the guts to stand up to his parents and tell them this.

Either way, these people are two sandwiches short of a picnic. Please don't send ANY of the kids to stay with them -- even their bio grandchild. Your sister should tell the Mama's Boy that his parents' treatment of her kids scares her, and that she won't have any of the kids subjected to this brand of meanness. This should give her cause for concern about the way they will treat their bio-grandchild in the future.

A Mama's Boy will usually not give up contact with his parents (yep, I had one of those too -- it's a tough situation being married to someone who chooses Mama's wishes over yours every time). So, if she wants to stay married to him, the only thing she can do with these crazy people is to seriously limit contact with them and make sure either your sister or brother-in-law is always present for any visits. Never leave them alone with these people. And avoid them as much as possible. She should tell her husband that he, too, should have serious concerns over anyone who willfully treats any kids this way, his mother or not. And just because one is his bio-kid, does he think his mother won't treat his own child this way in the future? I can tell you from experience that the witch will, eventually. As an example, my ex-mother-in-law actually dropped off my daugher (7 at the time) -- her own BIO GRANDCHILD -- at my parents house because she was tired of having her there. The clincher? She dropped her off and left. Didn't wait to even see if anyone was home.

Stay away from them!
maine_gardener
23 years ago
Just do not let the kids go to their step grandparents. Its a hard sitution but this is the only solution as far as I can see.
sandstone
19 years ago
OOh my! The Mother needs to make a stand... I am Irish and tend to be a little... well let's just say hot headed.. and god help these people if they were my children.. I would absolutely NOT let my children go back until there was a proper apology and possibly some counseling. For these people to treat children badly is inexcusable.. and if her husband won't stand up he is just as worthless... She needs to make that stand for her children...
pfllh
19 years ago
The damage may already be done with the children. My children were treated badly by my husband's parents and they were biological grandchildren!! WHY? Were they bad children - No, were they disrespectful-No, were they brats-No, were they protestant - Yes.
That was the whole issue. If the other grandchildren were there, they got held, hugged, and played games. This didn't happen with mine. The grandfather was holding one of the other grandchildren on his lap on the couch. My youngest at the time tried to get on his lap and he pushed her away and said, "NO".
My children were told they couldn't play with the toys there. The toys were for the other grandchildren.
I had enough and told my husband the girls and I were going back home, an 8 hour drive. He could stay with his momma and hang on to her apron strings or come home with us and be a family. He came with us.
They apologized several times but things never really changed. The girls did not understand what they had done wrong to make their grandparents not like them. It took a lot of talks to make them understand it was not them but their grandparents that acted wrong.
To this day they talk of my parents with love and have happy memories. My youngest has no affection for my husban's parents and will tell you so. The other girl's just don't talk about them.
It is sooo hard to take that kind of hurt away, a bandaid won't help. I would have a SERIOUS talk with my husband about the damage being done. I would not take any of the grandchildren over there. If the baby goes and not the other two, the grandparents got what they wanted. I wouldn't let any of them go. I'd get a babysitter and go with the husband to talk to them and just lay it on the line of the things they have said and done. Bottom line = if they want to see any of you they have to come to your home and it will be where they act like adutls and not XXXXX++++@@@@ or they are not welcome.
It's very hard to do this but your children's wellbeing is at stake. I wish you the best.
Lynn
bnicebkind
19 years ago
Like the others, I would do the same. If they were so vile to my other children...than they are not the kind of people I would want near any of my children. So, they have a choice to make. For me, they would have to give a very sincere apology to me and the children, being fully accountable for their behavior. And they would have to have such a profound change in attitude, that I would be certain that they truly had a change of heart, and that all the children would be treated with respect, and kindness. And you DH needs to make a choice too. Is he willing to stand up and protect his wife and children, even if it's his parents who are doing the hurting?

Stepgrandparents screaming in kids' faces

Comments (7)

RosieL

tlescak

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