Sorry, I got so worn out reading your post, I have to go lie down!!! I hate to add more negativity on top of what you already are feeling, but you are the babysitter (nanny). You aren't the Mom, or the step mom, or even an aunt. You are the friend of their Dad who is a girl. You need to place yourself and your needs first. These children are no responsibility of yours. Your responsibility is to be good to yourself, finish your education and share in the care of your home with your roommate. The kids are his problem. You should be pleasant and respectful of them and their position in their father's life - but how did you become responsible? I think you accepted all of this load because you had some preconceived notion that this would endear you in his heart and theirs. Instead, they are using and abusing your good nature. Why wait for January? Put your foot down now. You shouldn't have to leave your home to relax. Maybe the children's bio parents need to work out their work schedules to accomodate the care of the children they created. What would they do if you weren't in the picture? They would find a way to handle it. You make life easy for them and hard on yourself. You are right ... you are a kid yourself. This is your time to be footloose and fancy free. But .... you have chosen to carry the burden of other people's mistakes and its up to you to stand up for yourself and tell them its their problem. No one is going to jump in and say"Boy, you've been working so hard and we appreciate and love you so much .... go take a few days off." Chances are if they see you sitting still for 2 minutes, they'll find more work to load onto your little shoulders. Bio Mom's house is probably neat as a pin because kids are at your place most of the day. I'll bet she has time for lunch with friends,co-workers etc. I'm not saying to disassociate with the children altogether, but there has to be more sharing of responsibility for their care.

They are kids. What do you expect for them to be the most mature people and to know exactly how to act. My God you are fed up with them because they are being kids. Kids spill things. Kids find things funny that arent. You are not mature and unselfish enough to be a parent right now. You are blaming the parents when you should be blaming yourself for getting into a relationship with kids when you are not ready for kids. This may sound harsh but it is a reality you have to face. At 2 and 6 kids need parents who will be there and not get mad when they have to wash a shirt or clean up some grape juice. The best thing for everyone would be for you to get out of the realtionship and find a guy who doesnt have kids. Love is not going to solve the problem and if you ever put your needs above those kids then you are no better of a person than the mother who you obviously despise.

BrandyM,

If you reread the post you will see that Jennifer is not complaining about the kids being kids, she is stating that she is not happy with the complete responsibility of the children's care and the responsibility of running a household while she is trying to complete college. So give her a break!
Jennifer, you have done more than enough for everyone. You definitely need a break. You seem to be a lot like me. I tend to put everyone elses needs ahead of mine. A good word to know and use is "NO" Know when to say no. You are way past that point. Rosie is right, the bio parents need to help out because if you weren't there who would be doing all that you do? I'm guessing that your living arrangements are working for you because you don't have to worry about paying rent and such. Maybe you feel that taking care of his kids is your way of earning keep. I'm only speculating though. Keep in mind that a nanny would not work more than 40 hours a week, so why should you do all that you do? You're not their mother so ask for thepeople who should help to help you out before you go nus. Good luck.

Gosh, Rosie, I agree with you again! :-)

Jennifer, you need to have your boyfriend and his ex-wife step up and be responsible for THEIR kids. Please don't sacrifice your education for these people who are clearly taking advantage of you. Suppose you are no longer with this man a year or 18 months from now, but you've focused your efforts on HIS kids instead of your education? Where will you be then?

Do NOT wait until January. Do it now. Tell your boyfriend that you can no longer care for the kids 24/7, that your time and effort need to be directed to school. Explain to him that your being the primary caretaker for his kids is causing your schoolwork to suffer, and that you can no longer allow that to happen. If this upsets him and causes grief, guess what? You will have learned a valuable lesson about the character of the man you live with.

See where I'm going with this? You aren't even married to this man! If he is treating you like a nanny now with no regard for your wishes or needs (time to yourself, completing your masters, etc.) ... then you'd best find out now before you say "I do" ...

Does your boyfriend intend on marrying you? These children are not going to look at you as a parent until they are confident you are in it for the long haul. It definitely sounds like you are being used. Your BF and his ex need to be the primary caregivers of these children, not you.

As far as the workload goes, welcome to the real world.
After my wife and I get through with our kids(8yrs and 7 months), work, chores, family obligations, we have about 9 minutes of discretionary time to spend with each other. That's just the way it is in the adult world. However it is a great feeling to go to sleep at night knowing you have invested your time in such a worthwhile endeavor.

But in your case I see nothing working in your interest. I mean until this guy puts a ring on your finger you are taking care of someone elses kids, tending to a life that does not belong to you.

tlescak: How do you rate getting 9 minutes? I can only eek out about 4!!! One of my favorite children's books is called "5 Minutes Peace." That's my goal. Just 5 minutes!!!

We have early bedtimes for our kids. 8:30 PM for the 8 year old and 7:30 PM for the 7 month old.
Do any of you busy parents remember what it feels like to be bored? Because I don't.

I find myself not being able to handle free time anymore. "What do you mean, the chores are all done? What do I do with myself now?"

Bored? What's that? Jeez, I buy books and magazines to read and they gather dust! Maybe I'll read my magazines I bought LAST THANKSGIVING tonight!

:-)

wow...this sounds just like me a long time ago....Mom went out at night with her girlfriends...Dad had custody and went on afternoons and I raised someone elses child 24/7 with no breaks or respect...Get out now. Find a guy with no children..You are too young. I refuse to date people with children. Too much hassle... Good luck

Many talk about what they dont know, especially when they havent been in the situation, its hard very hard, helping with someones elses children, and yes we start out, caring and being helpful, not exsecting them to throw everything on us. I 100% understand how you feel and just want to tell you , your not wrong, your human, and its a lot on you, you need a good ear and a shoulder, not to be yelled at for not being mature. Your human, and you need to out yourself first. its not being insensitive. Life is to short to have anyone, ( even kids ) make us miserable. Look after you, and dont marry into that situation it will only get worse, im there now and I know it : (
best of luck

just plain tired

WOW! I thought that this posting never made it to the board. I sent it and waited for a few days and it never appeared. I came back to read the other postings and found mine. WOW! Anyway, I appreciate the responses....though some were obviously not what I wanted to hear.
Things have gotten much better around here since the last time I wrote this. My boyfriend and I had a long talk about the situation and came to the mutual agreement that it's just not working......Me taking care of the kids, that is. He wanted to hire a new nanny or get them into an after school program immediately.. I paused. I didn't want that to happen. The kids have been through enough change...and it has only been 2 months since the nanny quit..... Here we are pratically in Dec....Jan is around the corner. The situation is not as bad now... I can deal with it for another month. U had a talk with Bio-Mom as well...about the problems I am having. It was very hard to be with the kids and take care of my own needs at the same time. WE all got together on it and discussed with the kids what Jennifer needs from them and how they need to provide it because of what Jennifer does for them. It seems that for a long time the kids resented having to stay with me. They wanted to be with their Mother....who often puts work and social life ahead of the kids. But for some reason instead of being mean to me about it, the kids just wouldn't leave me alone. They would follow me all over the house, insist I play with them....wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom. We have since told them that I have many things to do in one day....and that the kids need to let me do them...that when Jennifer says she needs to go to the computer and do some work, you need to play independently....or you can sit in the room with her and color or do your homeworks books etc. The kids now stay out of my way when I need them to...they know I want to be with them and love them, but right now I have an additional priority to take care of. I find that when they respect that and give me the space I need...I feel more capable of being there, cleaning up the grape juice spills and not really minding what I am doing, too much. Don't get me wrong, this is not going to last....Come Jan, it's over.....but it's not as bad as it was..... and my boyfriend has been helping out a lot more. However, the issue for me still is the whole marriage concept. Above all, the major reason why this has been so hard, is due to the lack of committment. I mean, sure he says he wants to get married...and we plan for it.....but no, there is no ring on my finger...and there is no security...It does not always feel so great knowing you care for someone else's children and have no indication if you are wasting your time or not. So it is not very healthy to continue being the total care provider without some sort of security. It's pretty crazy to think about though..... they have two parents, and I do more than both of them combined.
Anyway, I wanted to answer some of your questions.....

RosieL:

You made me laugh! The part of BIO-MOM's house being neat as a pin!!!!!!!!!!! She has the messiest house I've ever seen! Actually, I take the kids back and forth from my house to Bio-Mom's... Bio-Mom and I are actually friends...we get along really well and she opens up her home to me.... But it was just an inside joke I wanted to share with you. Our homes are drasticall different. She has bare walls and dirty floors with pen marks on walls and furniture... a fridge with mold......beds unmade.....bathrooms with no order cannot even find toilet paper etc. My house is Donna Reed's home!!!!! hahahaha.. So when you said neat as a pin...my boyfriend and I had a good laugh. Thanks for the comic relief!!! :)