Good Morning, Everyone! Smoke, thank you for the photos and info on those peppers. I hope you don't think I was trying to discourage anyone from trying them, I just felt bad that I couldn't give them any information on them. Wouldn't it be neat if we could name one of the peppers Smoke's Mystery Pepper, or Smoke's Russian Roulette Pepper? You would be famous : ) BTW, do you grow your own Mexican Oregano, or buy the dried leaves somewhere. I have a perennial herb bed, and grow lots of annual herbs in pots, but haven't tried to grow that one yet. I do know that my dried herbs taste waaaay fresher than what you can buy at the grocery store. My husband bought a smoker a year or two ago, but I hadn't really given any thought to making my own dry rubs before. He can't tolerate much heat, but maybe I can come up with a blend that incorporates some milder peppers as well. Thank you for the inspiration!!! Thank you, Tanya and Randy, for the kind words! Even though the swap has been kind of time consuming, I have learned so much from all of you pepper enthusiasts, and have been able to try a few new varieties, so I think it has totally been worth it. I hope you guys will feel that way too, when you get your packages back. Tanya - The Naga Morich is gone, but I've added the following to your package: Bhut Jolokia Cascabella A Smokemaster mystery pepper Randy - The Volcano is gone, but I've added the following to your package: Black Pearl Quadrato Rosso D'Asti PI 260250 PI 438638 I'll check back later today. I've got to run to the post office to drop off the first batch of packages. Bonnie

I thought I would check in before leaving for the weekend. Yesterday was a day from hell. I am asking you again for prayers and support for my family. What I am going to tell you is almost impossible to believe. It concerns two of my nephews. One is ninth grade, the other away at college, finishing up his senior year. Last week my brother and his wife received a call from the ninth grader's school, saying that he had suffered an "episode" and recommended taking him to the doctor. To make a long story short, he had gotten extremely stressed out at school (he is always on the honors list) and just cracked. They described it as a manic episode. He is seeing several doctors and has gotten better, went back to school yesterday. When talking to my mother yesterday morning, she said she had started receiving some very bizarre emails from our other nephew, who is away at college. She didn't want to bother my brother, because of everything they had been going through with the younger son. I asked her to forward them to me, and gosh almighty, they were more than bizarre, really out of it, almost suicidal. So I told her I was going to track down my brother and/or his wife at their work and let them know. To make a long story short, this nephew has also suffered some sort of manic breakdown - they tested him and did not find drugs or alcohol in his system and will be committing him to a mental hospital for evaluation. My brother is with him, as my sister-in-law had to stay home with the other son. I was hesitant to post this on a forum, but I believe in prayer and that it can help heal, and my poor brother and his family need it in the worst way. They are just stunned and in shock. They are the last family you would think something like this would happen to. Very stable environment, very supportive of their children. Thank you for letting me share.

So much wrong information here. So, so much. First, the pension: I have the impression that the couple was married when the husband signed on for the pension. He almost certainly made his wife his beneficiary (person who collects if the pensioner dies). Beneficiary trumps everything else, including a will ... so if he never went back and changed it, the ex-wife could potentially be the automatic beneficiary. Also, the couple would have divided the pension along with their other marital assets. This doesn't mean it was split down the middle; sometimes, for example, sometimes a wife gives up rights to future pension benefits so she can have the house ... or sometimes promises that the husband keeps the lion's share of the pension, provided he pays for the kids' college ... or the couple could've agreed that since she stayed home and raised the children -- foregoing her own career -- that she gets the bigger share of his pension. Any of these things, or any number of other possibilities, could be true. Questions that need answering: - Who is the beneficiary? - What is in the divorce agreement? Then Social Security: An ex-wife can draw upon an ex-husband's account ... but one of the requirements is that she cannot have remarried. Any spouse can only draw 50% of the spouse's benefit ... so she'd have to compare this to her own benefit (she cannot draw her own benefit PLUS her spouse or ex-spouse's benefit -- it's an either-or proposition).

Dear all, Here's a copy of email I sent to the three Kids: Dear SS, SD1 and SD2, SS, your father tried phoning this evening, left a message, and turned in for bed before 9pm. He did have an opportunity to speak with SD2 on the phone a bit earlier, and he went to visit with SD1 at (her work) for a couple of hours today. I want you to know that we would really, really enjoy having all three of you here for a few days to spend lots of time with each other and your father. I know you all would like it best if he would come to (SD's hometown) (either with or without me), but he's feeling pretty stressed, and does not want to travel at all right now. He and I had planned to have a couple of days in the motorhome this September. We had talked about it in the late summer, after it was evident that we weren't going to be busy canning our non-existent fruit this year. But now he doesn't want to go anywhere. He seems to forget about the plans we had made -- that's just how things are right now. It's been very confusing to him to have all the conversations with all three of you about how, where, dates, etc., regarding this visit and trying to explain how and why he feels like he does. What he would like best is for all of you to come here and stay in our home or cottage (which we are still keeping vacant until we hear the final plans). Right now he's most comfortable at home, and he can't think of being anywhere else. I think the best thing to do for everyone would be to just try and make this visit as easy as possible, as comfortable as possible for everyone, and just plan on having nice relaxing days "chewing the fat", reminiscing, and hanging out together. Going sightseeing, going on adventures, experiencing new things ... are out of his comfort level. He's unsure on his feet, is afraid of feeling confused, and can't describe how he feels at times. I know that I have many projects I can work on and things I can do on my own, which would afford all of you time to be there to talk, listen, and nap with your father as you see fit! Who knows, you might all enjoy relaxing in one of his two favorite rooms and close your eyes like he does! Maybe there will be a day where your father feels less weak, confused, agitated or stressed and he will feel like riding with me over to SS's town, SD2's town, or SD1's Island -- but that day is sure not now. Since I'm the only one here who can tell you what it's like to no longer have your parents alive, I'll let you know this: It's final. It's nothing you can wish or pray to change. There are no more opportunities to enjoy their presence. There are no more opportunities to say what you wanted to or should have said. And if I had to live with regrets for not doing what I knew I needed to do ... well, it would be unbearable. Please understand that I'm not trying to "guilt" any of you into anything ... I'm just trying to share what I've learned because I've recently experienced losing both of my dear parents. They weren't perfect; my father especially wasn't always easy; and I wasn't always the best daughter. However, next to your father, their wellbeing and happiness were my top priorities. Above all else, you must know that my love, time, energy, and money went to care for them and your father, as it does now for your father alone. I know that I tried to put myself in their shoes and do everything I possibly could for them, just as I would hope that my daughter and granddaughter will do for me someday. So, please do what you can to visit with him sooner rather than later. As we all know, "later" doesn't always arrive. And if you all can't make it here together (with or without your spouses) please know, again, that you are always welcome to come visit on your own. Love, Kathy ...................................... This is the email I received back from SD2: Dad and Kathy, I spoke very briefly to (brother - SS) this morning. He should find out within a couple of days when he has to go to (foreign country for work). I would prefer October 17 as I think it would be better for my work. Our freshmen are arriving tomorrow and school begins September 22. Its always crazy this time of year and I can feel the tension around my office increasing each hour. So IÂm hoping that (brother - SS) will know in two days (by Thursday) if he is available Oct. 17. If he doesnÂt know by then, maybe IÂll need to get bite the bullet and be brave and let (my boss) know IÂm taking Friday, Sept. 26 off (donÂt ask, tell her!!) and weÂll come that weekend. I want to know by Thursday so that I can book at least a one week in advance flight. IÂm leaning towards flying out on Thursday night but that will get me in to Seattle between 10-11 pm then I will need to drive to (your home). If I leave on Friday, half the day is over before I get there. I will be leaving Sunday evening whether we come Sept. 22 or October 17 to get back to work on Monday. IÂm sorry for all the confusion and seemingly indecisiveness. But itÂs just that all of our lives, like everyone elseÂs, is complicated with all 3 of our work schedules. I havenÂt spoken to (SD1) yet but hopefully sheÂs flexible. Love, SD2 ................................................. Here's the email I sent back to all three of them Dear SD2, SD1, and SS, Thank you both for trying to arrange things. SD2 and SS, I am willing to pick you up and take you back to Seattle airport. Your father might be willing to "go for a ride" since he usually reclines his seat and sleeps whenever we travel beyond (our home town) anyway. I'm accustomed to driving to and from the airport, and night driving isn't a concern for me. It's not my favorite thing, of course, but it's not too difficult as long as there's not rain. However, if both of you, SS and SD2, are able to arrange flight times close to each other and you'd like to rent a car that's fine too. I don't know the need for another vehicle while you're all here, but that's up to you, of course. Your father's still in bed, and I'm bringing coffee in to him and we'll sit and enjoy that. I'll let him know of the (still possible) dates. I know he'll feel relieved and happy to know that you'll all three be here. And SD2, the lawyer I worked with for so long (and who is still a good friend and I admire so much) had a lovely sign in his office. About "easier to ask forgiveness than permission". I think you'll find this true with your boss! Of course, we got most of our clients through that same adage ... trying to sort out their "forgiveness" because they hadn't asked "permission", but I don't think (your boss) will sue you about this! ha ha I'll put the cream in his coffee, and go visit with your father right now. Thank you both (and SD1, too) for trying to arrange this visit with your father. Love, Kathy .................................................. NOW, friends on the Stepfamily forum: I thank you for all your ideas, suggestions, comments, and opinions. My husband made his decision and spoke with all the kids about it. They discussed it amongst themselves. I sent emails and they sent emails. Everything is settled and, as you can see, all communications are friendly, proper, and loving. I am certain we will have a nice visit with them ... whether they arrive in a week or so, or later in October after we return from our one flight of the year ... to a grandson's wedding in Santa Barbara. PLEASE LET THIS TOPIC DIE OF NATURAL CAUSES, NOW. I hate to see so many of you going on and on about this. This is NOT what I needed from any of you. I don't think continuing this conversation is beneficial to anyone. I believe we all know where everyone stands now. However, if any of you would like to learn more about Dementia and/or Alzheimer's Disease, I suggest you do some research. I've read a number of comments that led me to believe some of you just don't understand the disease and its symptoms and behaviors. Now, to all, Goodnight! I'm joining my husband in the library where we will watch (undoubtedly) something on The History Channel, because that's one of his favorites! Kathy in Washington P.S. I'll tell you a perk of being married to a man who fought in World War II: learning my history from him! I know more about that war than I ever learned in school. And I have such a great appreciation for what truly was The Greatest Generation! Please ask questions of anyone you know who fought then -- they'd most likely be happy to share their experiences with you.