teenage suicide.

15 years ago

My DS16 came home from school today and told me that the best friend of a kid he knows at school committed suicide. I guess the boy that killed himself had a father that is a fireman and the dad responded to the emergency call.

My daughter attempted suicide when she was a young teen. I thank God she changed her mind before it was too late.

I just wanted to post this to stress how important it is to keep an eye on your teens. Keep talking to them. Know their friends. Respect their privacy but not to the extent that you don't know whats going on in their lives.

They say that teen suicide comes in groups. When one does it then others that have been thinking about it feel they have the green light. Some times they have a pact where one will start it and then others agree to follow.

I think when we have troubles between families....step, bio and so forth our kids are at greater risk. Just had to say something.

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Comments (5)

catlettuce
15 years ago
Oh, that has got to be the most heartbreaking thing ever. After DS's bes friend killed himself we got involved with yellowribbon.org, they have lots of great teen suicide prevention prgrams one called the yellow card. The teens are all give these yellow business cards at the start of the program. The card signifies to anyone they hand it too "I need help, I need to talk to you now." so they never feel there isn't someone to talk too.

Its a great program and they have lots of other ideas too, Unfortunately DS's high school kind of poo pooed getting them involved and 3 more students in our district committed suicide that same year. Absolutely horrid.

Look it up & don't be she about presenting to the school board either. If I can help in any way please let me know. I would be happy to.

~Cat
mom_of_4
15 years ago
I had a few friends growing up that committed suicide. My daughters father committed suicide. He was 23 at the time. No one ever talks about it (suicide) It is always swept under the rug and kept hush hush. This DEFINATELY something we should be discussing with our children just like sex drugs and alcohol. Always Always keep that communication open and keep a watchful eye for warning signs of trouble and dont be afraid to talk about it. You can go to rehab for drugs ... you cant come back from the dead.
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Amy, just saw this thread (I was out of town last week). What a devastating thing. I can only imagine what your DD was telling herself about having said she was too busy to talk. The teen years seem like a psychological obstacle course kids have to go through to get to the other side, and not all kids make it, which is nausea and vertigo inducing when I let myself think about it as a mother. And even beyond the highly dramatic teen years, it's still difficult...I remember when I was breaking up with a longtime boyfriend and even though *I* was the one doing the breaking up, I thought "I have no idea who I am without him" and thought there was no future for me, whatever 'me' was. I thought part of "me" was being X's girlfriend, and without that part I was nothing (we'd been together since high school, and this was last year of grad school--in theatre, btw...). A friend, also in theatre, told me that there is simply no logical reason to assume the suffering of now is what will be happening forever, that is *always* a way out to a new start, even if it means the Peace Corps, or Ditching It All and traveling, or whatever. His statement was so straightforward and undramatically rational it struck me right between the eyes and knocked a new perspective into my brain. (Almost like the psychologist seeing the Australian woman who has fear of flying in the old SNL skit, not to reduce it to comedy or anything, but the feeling was similar.) As you can tell, I've never forgotten what he said and it still serves as a kind of touchstone for me to judge the permanence of any negative situation and get a realistic hold on it even through any possible drama. Maybe it doesn't make much sense hearing it second hand, but it helped me and still does, so I thought I'd share it. It relates to parma's "permanent solution to a temporary problem" line. Teens and young adults have no real experience of the passing nature of everything in our lives...all the power to make big life-affecting actions, but no perspective. Anyway, I notice you haven't posted for several days now, I guess since the funeral...when you are inclined, please post how you all are doing now. I'll be thinking of you and DD.
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believer
Original Author
15 years ago
Cat....What an amazing idea! I will check into it.

I'm so sorry for you DS. What a horrible thing to have to go through. It is bothering my son so much and he didn't even know the young man that died. I am so sorry.

mom of 4... I am so sorry about what you have had to go through and about your DD loosing her father in such a way. It is such a scary thing. People shouldn't sweep it under the rug even though it is so painful to talk about. How terribly sad.

When I was 15 my brother and I found a woman that had committed suicide. Her little boy, 10, was friends with my little brother. He came to our house and was crying, saying that he couldn't wake up his mom. I knew that she had just gotten out of the hospital for emotional issues. My older brother went to the house and found her dead. She had shot herself in the chest.

My X's best friend killed himself...my daughter's 1st boyfriend killed himself. Another friend of hers did also.

It is so heartbreaking. After my daughter attempted it I couldn't sleep for a long time. I would start to hyperventilate every night being afraid of what I might find in the morning. We did counseling and it was such help. It ended up being more for me than her. She has no thoughts of it now. The people she knew that did it were after her attempt so she was able to see how much pain it caused everyone and she was so sorry.

Thank you both for responding.
mom_of_4
15 years ago
I feel like I need to clarify..

I understand why it is swept under the rug. It is difficult to explain. It is diffucult to comprehend and there there is a stigma attached to it.

But, above and beyond anything else... I think it should be a learning experiance (I try to see the good in a situation)... We should take it as a warning that we never know what is in a persons heart and we should ALWAYS take a moment to step outside of ourselves to observe what is going on with those closest to us. There were slight warnign signs but nothing I really paid attention too because it was so far from my frame of thinking.. but looking back it was all there plain as day.

It only takes a moment to make someone feel like they are special... it takes a lifetime to forgive yourself for what you might have done.
believer
Original Author
15 years ago
I understand mom of 4. I did not mean to be judgemental. It does have a stigma attached to it.

You last line "It only takes a moment to make someone feel like they are special...it takes a lifetime to forgive yourself for what you might have done". Such an insightful statement and one that can be applied to so many areas of life. Thank you for sharing that.

teenage suicide.

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catlettuce

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teenage suicide.

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catlettuce

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