My sister aslo committed suicide a little over a year ago.
so much of the stories I have read I can relate to. Not wanting to talk to friends about how I felt or my boyfriend. With her death a part of my very soul died too. My grandmother who I was very close to died just the month befor and even being close to her, her death was justified. she was older, she prepaired me for the day at a young age, but my sister was only 24 with so much in front of her. I still feel guilty cause a year befor she did it I was talking with a friend and told her I had a horible feeling that my little sister was going to die. She asked me what I was feeling, she thought it was because my sister was in the army and over seas and I was worried but I told her no I feel she is going to die of a single gun shot. She remarked with how with one shot, but befor she could finish I answered her question with to the head. Time went on and my sister came home for a visit and then came back to the states for good. I pushed the feelings away. Then one day I had the strongest feeling to call ashley call ashley must call ashley all day. I was having a bad day at work that day and didnt want to call my little sister to vent. The next morning my boyfriend came into the room to wake me up, but he didnt get the chance to I could hear my mom crying through the phone. My sister killed her self one shot to the head. She left me a letter telling me about how she wanted to be in a relationship and she didnt have that how lucky i was to have found that. In the letter she told my mother to help us get married. I still wonder if i had called her that day if i would of told her what i had felt in my soul would it of changed anything. Well I'm now getting married in three weeks and I want to be happy some days I am others I wonder if my new found love felt like a knife to her. I know its not my fault I didnt pull the trigger. She knew she could call me but you always wonder if i just would of....