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Would you?

17 years ago

Well bm has been in town for weeks and seen the kids for only a few minutes. She works in a store near us so I am tempted to just take the kids shopping there one night so they can see her. There are some other stores in the plaza that I like so I was thinking we could go there to purchase something specific and then head over to bm's store.

Then the kids get to see bm finally and I come out looking like the nice one to the kids because I drove them there for the "suprise" visit. I know it will be a quick visit, but its better than nothing right?

Would you bring the kids to visit her at the store she works at if you were in my shoes? OR would you just say she sees them whenever she makes the effort?

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Comments (9)

stargazzer
17 years ago
Have they adjusted to not seeing her on a reg basis? Are you building them up to be let down? What will happen if she is not happy to see them in her work place? I personally would not interfere.
kkny
17 years ago
I would recommend against it. I tcould be disruptive at work, and might not accomplish anything.
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fiveinall
17 years ago
I would think the only time I would do that was if I literally had to walk by the store she was in.. then I would stop in and say hey...
The other thing to think about is if you stop into her work she may think its ok to stop in at yours or DHs..that would be a can of worms I wouldnt wanna open!
imamommy
17 years ago
I agree with the other posters, she may also interpret it as you are trying to control her relationship with her kids or that you are putting her on the spot, trying to show them you will put forth the effort for them to see her but she won't. She isn't likely to appreciate it.
pfllh
17 years ago
"Then the kids get to see bm finally and I come out looking like the nice one to the kids because I drove them there for the "suprise" visit."
Sorry but to use the children and the situation for you to look good and not doing it for their benefit is wrong. Not good at all.
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cat38
17 years ago
I do not believe mom2emall was meaning that she should use the kids in some way...

From what I read she is wanting BM to have a relationship and she may feel that could be her part of the getting BM to step up and see her kids..

KUDOS to the STEPMOMS who are not the wicked ones.
from what I can tell there are more stepmoms wanting BM's to step up and do the mom thing... Just my opinion...

Ive said before in several different posts, last Thanksgiving we had my SS, BM had to work so I made a big dinner for everyone and then I made a huge tray up put a flower on it and had DH and SS take it to BM'S work 40 minutes away so that she could have dinner with her son... I go out of my way all the time for BM, she has NEVER gone out of her way for anyone....

Cat
mom2emall
Original Author
17 years ago
What I meant by looking like the good one is that bm always tries to make us look like the bad guys and the reason that she does not see the kids.

I was hoping that if I stopped by her work with the kids that she would see them and maybe it would spark an interest in her making an effort to see the kids! Plus the kids would be happy and they would see that it is not me and their dad keeping them from her.
finedreams
17 years ago
no, i would not do it. I would only do it if children specifically ask: please take us to see mommy. If they do not raise the question about going seeing mom, i would not take such step.
justnotmartha
17 years ago
Have they asked much about seeing her since she has been in town? If the mention it a bunch and she does not call it might be an option, and it would prove that you and DH aren't the ones keeping them from mom.
BUT, if they aren't asking and mom's not calling, why force it??

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