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Adult Step daughter and hubby's ex cause havoc

16 years ago

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years. About a year after we married (we both have two children from our first marriage)his exwife decided to move from Alabama to Oregon to be with a man she met online. She didn't have the money to move so she told us she would """trade us custody of the children for money to move""" (yeah, she sold them to us). But we were happy to get them - she moved and life was good. During the 4+years she was gone she rarely contacted the kids but the six of us were fine. My hubby and I didn't do the ""step""" thing - we raised the kids that were one happy family without titles of stepsister or stepdad/mom. And I would constantly tell people how blessed I was. Well, biomom and new man broke up. She decides to move BACK Alabama. My stepdaughter at the time didn't want anything to do with her biomom - she was resentful of how her mother had moved and forgotten her. I encouraged my SD to forgive her biomom and find a relationship with her again. I don't believe in holding grudges. I even went so far as to invite biomom to dinner and movies with us to help her get back in good graces with the children. Before she moved we had never gotten along and had argued alot. But when she came back she seemed depressed and unhappy with the fact she was 40+ yrs old, single again and her kids hated her. (She is 12yrs older than me). I did all I could to help her and the kids find a relationship. I felt that the kids could have three parents - and not love anyone of us less because of it. My husbands mom told me I would regret helping the biomom. Boy was she right - once she got back in good with the kids she started running down me and seems very jealous of anything I have. She is jealous and hateful and spiteful. The problem is my SD has joined her mother. At first I was blind sided by her new/ugly attitude towards me. I tried the sit down talk with her. Her dad and I are very close... We talked about it and tried every reasonable response to this. I am to the point that I just want the SD and ExWife to leave me alone. I am tired of trying, I am tired of being blamed for everything. I am tired of being watched and judged for every action I take... My husband told me yesterday that he doesn't even want to hear his daughters name again our house. He says she has no right to turn on me after all I've done for her... I just want my family back. I guess the lesson is becareful who you befriend... it may end up costing you more that it's worth. We bought a house in April of 06. My husband and I are both National Guard (State military). We bought a house off of the military post because in the National Guard you don't move around. We lived on post, saved money... bought a house. When his exwife saw the house she called him that day and told him "If you can afford a house like that you don't need child support money from me." She stopped paying and he had to take her back to court... We have a court date in November. The ex is crazy and the daughter has turned out about the same... Our sons take martial arts training at the same place. My husband's ex went so far as to tell their teacher that my son is mean and out of control. The teacher told her that both of my boys are well behaved and have great manners. But the point is it hurt my son's feelings. (he is 11 yrs old) She has tried to get me upset from the beginning but failed to do it and now she is targeting my children. I called a lawyer and legally there is nothing I can do really. It's crazy. I am blessed my husband and I have such a good relationship because we still manage to not let this take over our life.

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