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Estranged Adult Daughter - Over Legal Will

15 years ago

I hope you can offer some advice to my husband and I. We are in incredible pain.

I have one adult daughter from a previous marriage. The man I have been married to for 15 years is her stepfather. Through the years we have supplied much love and finances to keep her family going. We even placed a 2nd mortgage on our home so she and her husband would have a downpayment for theirs.

Recently I became critically ill, I had cancer. I was in a hospital for over 1 month and came home still ill and needing follow-up care. At that time, my daughter inquired about the will I had made up....she was upset because it left my share of the house to my husband if I passed.

My husband also had a will, if he passed on first, all he had would go to me, if I weren't alive -- it would all go to my daughter.

This did not sit well with my daughter. She felt that should my husband remarry, he might change the will. The situation became so pressing and ugly that my doctor gave orders that it not be talked about for 4 months.

The last thing my daughter did was send a copy of 'instructions' on how the title of the house should be drawn up allowing her to inherit half our estate if I died.

My saint of a husband wanted to keep peace in the family. He took me to an attorney and had the deed changed to 'tenants in common' and new wills drawn up so that my daughter could inherit half the estate.

I can only say that the attorney questioned us several times if we truly thought this was the wise thing to do. That should have been a warning to us that it was not.

Having done this, my daughter still wasn't satisfied...she wanted the wills and the deed to the house to be kept in her possession. We drew the line, I began feeling I was worth more dead than alive. Shortly thereafter, we began receiving emails that she was the 'blood-relative' of me and deserved to be 'protected'.

Because I am so ill, this scenario did not seem odd to my DH and I at first. As it became uglier and uglier, I no longer felt she was capable of being the Executor of the Will or (at this time God Forbid) my Health-Care proxy - who would have the power to disconnect me from life support should the time come.

We went back to the Attorney, had the wills and deed changed back to the way they were at first - my husband inheriting my half of the house. His having a will leaving what he has to me, and then to my daughter if I'm not around.

We were probably wrong in letting the daughter know about the latest change, but we did. She now states she never will see us again, and has kept that promise for 6 months. We are heartbroken, can not believe this happened due to an inheritance.

Were we wrong in any way? Is she correct in feeling she should inherit half of what we own if I die? I would like to add that over the 15 years we're married the bulk of what we own, was earned together.

Sorry this was so long.

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