Hi Dana.You probably dont remember me,but I was a member formally known as coolmama a few months ago.Sorry to hear about your dog! I too despise irresponsible pet owners.

Sorry to hear about the trouble you are having with your stepson as well. Last time I was here it was your stepdaughter living with you...so I guess I've missed alot!

If your SS wont pay to help his dog,why wont he give her to someone who will,or put her to sleep and end her misery?

Hi Dana

I too can't stand people who abuse or neglect animals. There is no excuse for this. Do you know what city he lives in? Find out if that city has a SPCA and call them. Even if they don't, call that city's local police department and report a dog being abused/neglected. You can do this anonymously. Good luck

Mlly: Great idea, but I don't have an address. I don't know what to do but I'd love to do just that!

Plastic, I remember you well. SD did move out 2 mos. ago. We're fine as far as getting along goes - DH is taking some strides to get her and her sister financially independent. We just got a preliminary judgement from our fire - about 2/3 of what we were seeking - but they have a month to pay and the final phase won't be heard for awhile, but hopefully we can get back on our feet.

SS had been in contact w/ our asst - they became friends when he was supposed to work for us several years ago, etc. He and his bf have been on and off - lots of drama. I posted about it around early Aug or late July. We thought he was coming back down here as his bf was to start school about 45 min. north of us, but it fell through. I had mixed emotions - wanted him back home, hoped to get him on a better path, etc. But, I'm still very angry - he shafted me on his student loans, took advantage, lied, worried the heck out of me/us, etc. When it all fell through, I figured it was for the best - was afraid we'd buckle and have HIM living here.

Anyway, I'm just furious w/ his irresponsibility.

How's it going w/ your new living arrangement?

Dana

Dana, I did miss you!

I love animals, too.

& I have experience dealing with (& being fooled by) con artists.

I'd get someone to look at that photo to be sure it hasn't been photoshopped.

This sounds like another attempt to extract money;
he may have implanted the idea in your assistant's mind that she confide in you or his dad, even though he "told" her not to, about the dog.

Since he says it's his dad's fault that the dog has this tumor, he figures assistant will tell you & you'll tell dad, or assistant will tell dad.

& dad will fork over some money.

but just in case the dog really is in distress...

What would happen if you stayed behind the scenes & worked through the assistant?

Tell her that you'll pay the vet bill, but that you don't want to rock the boat with SS, & ask her to tell him that *she* will pay the bill or that she has found a humane organization that will pay the bill, but she's already told them that it's her dog.

All he has to do is take the dog to her vet, & she'll take it from there.

If he claims to have a vet, somebody needs to check the vet's refs.

& if he says he's already taken the dog to the vet & she should just give him the money...well, there's your answer.

I hope you can help this dog if it needs help.

...that I hope your dog gets better.

It seems like every little thing becomes a big deal when they get older.

Friends,

My sweet Golden Retriever did not make it through the night. I'm fairly inconsolable. She was a lively beauty and it seems so empty here w/o her.

Sylvia, I don't think the photos were altered. He has been mentioning his dog's ailments to our asst. for the past year, but I guess now the tumor is (understandably) affecting her ability to walk. I don't think it's an attempt for $, as none has been asked for. She has given him enough $ that if he really wanted to help his dog, he could have. But, he's all about not sacrificing for the better of anyone other than himself. He is one of the most selfish individuals I've met.

She is here w/ us (S. FL) and he is in Atlanta. I'm very distressed over it. Can't let him know that I know - don't want to betray her confidence, so my hands are tied.

How is your family coping these days w/ the tragedy?

Dana

I'm sorry.

Goldens are truly wonder-dogs, & they leave a big hole in your heart when they leave.

My brother's doing about as well as can be expected.

He's functioning, going to work every day.

& for several days now I haven't heard him say that Adam's grandfather should be in the cemetary instead of Adam being there.

not that it isn't true, it's just futile & upsetting to say it.

Maybe assistant could persuade him to take the dog to a vet in the Atlanta area, & have the vet call her for a credit card #?

I'm so sorry about your dog...We had a pet pass around Christmas last year so I know how hard it can be.

I am sorry to hear about your Golden. Having just lost my dog a few months ago, I know how you feel.

Maybe it really would have made no difference if he had taken the dog to the vet earlier. Cancers in dogs tend to be grow so rapidly, that until the dog becomes uncomfortable, maybe it is better not to take him to the vet, put him through surgery and make his life miserable. If your SS's dog is finding it difficult to walk, he should be taken to the vet.

My Golden had a growth removed from her leg that the vet was almost certain was malignant. It turned out it was a sebacious cyst, but the surgery led to a number of complications, with the poor dog ending up in an Elizabethan collar. I wish she hadn't gone through that, since the cyst didn't seem to be bothering her. She lived another five years or so and died of something completely unrelated, shortly before her 17th birthday.

This spring I lost another dog to cancer. I had taken him for regular checkups. Six months after his last checkup, I took him in because he had been a bit less energetic than usual for a couple of days. The first vet said he was fine, the second found a large inoperable gastrointestinal tumor. Two weeks later the tumor started hemorrhaging and I had to have him euthanized. What good did it do the poor dog to go through all those tests and spend a couple of days in the vet's office, and what good did it do me to spend close to a thousand dollars?

Cancer is has become so common in the large breeds in the last decade. I don't know anyone personally whose dog's cancer went into remission for a significant length of time. I do know people who have spent a lot of money for virtually nothing, lengthening their dogs lives by only a few months. Is is really worth it, when the dog is often made miserable by the medication and surgery?

tos, condolences on the loss of your dog, & I agree about the futility & unkindness of using heroic measures to prolong, not life but death.
I lost my 9-year-old Lab to a fast-growing tumor that hemorrhaged.

The vet said just what you said:

The cancer had grown rapidly & had spread like wildfire.

By the time we recognized it, it was too late.

I was devastated, but after I've heard other people's stories, I feel fortunate that it was so fast & that he didn't have to go through a lot of discomfort, tests, etc.

If it were to happen again, no, I wouldn't put the dog through a bunch of tests & treatments just to buy more time *for myself* with my pet, time that would be miserable for the pet.

I was lucky enough to have a vet who speaks plain English to me.

He said, "This is very bad. There's nothing that will cure it. We can run a bunch of tests if you want to, but when you've seen as much of this as I have, you know what needs to be done."

& since my dog was in "discomfort" (pain), since he wouldn't eat, since he was bleeding, & since his abdomen was lumpy with the tumor(s), it was easy for me to grasp the situation & accept it.

sylviatexas,

I am sorry about your lab. All the large breeds seem to have such a high incidence of cancer recently, and at such a young age. I lost two seven year old dogs (both over 100 pounds) from cancer during the last five years, and at least two other people on my street lost their large breed dogs from cancer at even younger ages.

This is so sad. My condolences to all.

Ladies,

My dog was a GR, and did not have cancer. It was pancreatitis. I am angered by the vet's management of it as I felt as though she should have been on IV fluids the minute the diagnosis came back. Dh took her in last Sat and they came home together. Blood work came back Tues. But, she was looking up by then, then suddenly crashed on Friday. I read about nothing by mouth in these cases, so I'm baffled by the meds and vet's suggestions. Today, the blood work came back from yesterday, though she was already gone, and it showed multiple system failures/organ failures. She was 12. My other two GR's died at nearly 15, a month before and two weeks after my second boy's birth. I was a wreck. I have no business having pets, and as many as I do. I can't handle the down side well at all. Right now, I'm actually numb - have had a really bad five years regarding pets, but as I said, the numbers I own are very high. I have moments of being inconsolable, trying to be brave for the little ones, etc. My heart has a huge hole in it as Sylvia described. My house seems empty - only have our 2 lb. year old pup left as far as canines go. I'm somewhere between never wanting another pet and wanting to run out and rescue some poor creature who would otherwise not have a decent life...

SS's dog is a small dog - I'd say 10 lbs. While I agree that going the heroic road isn't the way to go unless there's a fighting chance for the animal to pull through, to sit back and watch a growth become so huge is inhumane. I've done the heroic thing and will not put an animal through it again w/o a decent prognosis. I have a 15 y.o. cat right now who is in great spirits, eating well, etc. But, his back legs sometimes appear noodle-like. The preliminary tests ruled out arthritis (I didn't think it was) so it must be neurologic. I just refuse to have him subjected to a bunch of tests, being away from home, etc. He isn't stressed and I won't act on this if he remains fine. Some days are better than others, but his appetite and mood remain good. (I barter w/ the vet, so cost is not a factor, just won't subject him to surgery at this age, don't want him sedated for the x-rays, etc.)

SS has his priorities all messed up. He apparently also has his photos messed up - meant to send these of the dog to my asst. last time, but instead, she got photos of his boyfriend's back side, naked. I'm pretty disgusted just hearing about it. She was fairly grossed out and shocked, to say the least.

I also lost my beloved mixed breed of 17 years in the Spring. She was a hit and run I took in while in residency. I actually prefer my four-legged friends to most 2 legged human ones...contrary to popular belief, I find they rarely bite the hand that feeds them while the human ones do...

Thanks, ladies, for sharing my grief, sharing your stories, etc. I have a little rule of thumb...I am drawn to just about all other animal lovers! Don't fully trust...

Dana, many older cats develop renal problems, & low potassium may cause weakness in their back legs.

You might get the vet to check & maybe put the cat on a prescription "kidney diet".

Dana,

I'm so sorry for you.

I totally and completely understand your point of view in regards to pet owners.

huggs

Dana,

Sorry about the loss of your Golden. How are your little boys doing? I think it's very hard on kids when a family pet dies, since it's often the first time a child experiences loss.

Lots of hugs to you and your boys.

Thanks, Sylvia, Fleurs. I will have him checked for renal function. I really feel it's neurologic in origin. He's been on Science Diet since I found him as a young kitten. I know that's low in Mg, supposed to help w/ stone formation, etc. But I'm not sure if it's related further down the road.

Thanks again,
Dana

I think the boys are doing better than they did w/ the dog we lost ~ 6 mos. ago. Then, we watched her begin to fail. This illness came on suddenly, and while the vet appts. were a week apart, she seemed to be responding very well in the interim. My oldest (7) usually takes it the worse, but he has only had a couple of moments of despair, and has been comforting me (he's much better in that dept. than my husband could ever hope to be.) The younger two are still young. The 5 y.o. is a very happy-go-lucky type and still doesn't seem to fully understand the concept. The 3 y.o. saw me crying and said in his best English, "No worry, mommy. Tawny in heaven." From the mouths of babes...such faith, so simply put, unquestionable acceptance of the afterlife...

They lost my dear g-father 2 years ago, watched me fall apart at the hospital, comforted me (again, better than DH by far.) Two weeks after losing my g-father, we lost "Hercules" our HUGE Maine Coon cat who simply went to sleep on a shelf and never woke up - est. to be ~ 16 or older. He was a great cat - 28 lbs of pure love. We've lost other cats and two other Goldens, though the oldest was only 2, so tough to remember. My numbers are in the high range - still have 3 cats, the 1 y.o. puppy, a turtle, two guinea pigs, a leopard gecko, 2 cockatiels and 3 'other' birds we rescued from a local organization we support. I call them doves. DH calls them: 2 pigeons and a crow...

I have a weak spot for the 3-legged one-eyed orphans of the world...the GR we just lost and one of the other ones were sought out by DH before we wed, the other Golden and the dog we lost earlier this year found me many years ago. I always think about replacing the lost ones, but right now the pain is too new and I never want to feel it again. Besides, it seems as though fate or a higher power dictate these things. I've honestly rescued at least 5 dogs/cats who were hit and run victims. No one else I know has even seen an animal hit in front of them...

D

So sorry for your loss Dana.

Its disgusting that your SS would let a poor dog suffer like that and have the gaul to blame you and your husband. You don't need a vehicle to find a job, there's public transportation (and a wonderful thing called walking) he has no one to blame for his situation but himself. From all that you've said you and DH have done far more for that boy than most parents and he should be nothing but grateful.