I'm behind on my record keeping (ouch). I have an Excel spreadsheet which badly needs updating, with roses sorted by class then by name, with the nurseries or individuals I got them from, and some other information. The Excel spreadsheet doesn't give enough room for adequate comments, and I've been thinking about a parallel text document with rose varieties listed in the same order as in the spreadsheet, but with unlimited room for text. But I haven't started it. I also have written and drawn maps of sections of the garden and of the propagation beds where I start cuttings, very important in case labels get lost, which they do all the time. I accept that labels will not be my primary source of identification of plants in the ground, and that their labels will need to be replaced periodically. About pots, by an evil magic they lose labels constantly no matter what I do. Recently I've taken to punching holes at the rims of plastic pots, threading ties through them, and attaching labels to the ties: I defy these labels to disappear! Labeling the pots is the only way I know to keep order in the pot ghetto, which contains probably a couple of hundred plants of every description. Currently we probably have 500-600 roses in the garden and 300-odd varieties, spread out over a couple of acres. Keeping track of them is difficult but important. I've learned I can't trust my memory--and I have an excellent memory--and that I need multiple forms of documention, so that if one source fails I have another. Also that I need to keep better order in paperwork like invoices: saving them isn't enough, they need to be accessible and in order, but hitherto I haven't succeeded in this. I have other plants I would like to keep better records of, including lilacs, peonies, and violets, none of which I have satisfactorily documented. Melissa

As a wife of a military member (Air Force Guard enlisted) who has served 15 years, is a veteran of the Iraq war, and is currently still serving in the military, some of these responses are so different from my own experiences with the military. I'm not a parent, but I would support someone's personal decision to serve in the military, including my own childs. The military is a very large organization, just because you're in the military does not mean you will see or experience combat up close and first hand, even in times of war. In fact there are probably more jobs that support missions than people who are actually out there involved in doing the missions. My husband was deployed over there during the war and never left the base he was stationed at, never once saw combat, as did other military members stationed over there at the base he was stationed at. The military is also so much more than just fighting in wars. They do a fair amount of humanitarian missions, and are mostly national security. I do think being in the military in some ways can be what you make it, you do have some options as to career, officer/enlisted, guard/active, and branch of military. If you know how to use your time in the military, the benefits and training they offer can be an advantage for someone's future career, when they decide to get out, however unfortunately some go in without future plans in mind and then get out with no direction. My husband switched his career field in the guard from satellite communications to computers and is now working full time as a IT contractor at US Strategic Command, along with his part time one weekend a month job in the guard. He wouldn't have his current full time job had it not been for his connections, volunteer deployments, and training/schooling through the guard. As far as benefits, in my personal experience with the military, my husband received 40,000.00 for college (GI Bill), which he has used with no issues for his bachelors degree and there are additional military grants for guard members that if they attended a state school in the state they are serving, their tuition would be waved. He also has received two associate degrees which he earned in the guard through their training and schooling at no cost. We used his VA loan for the house that we currently live in, which can have some perks over traditional loans and was nice to have in a time when banks got strict about home loans. If he stays in 20 years, he will receive retirement benefits. There are benefits on base that are nice, free gym, tax free shopping, inexpensive hotel lodging, HOPS (flights), etc. During the times he has been federally activated (which for the most part have been volunteer deployments, his choice to be a part of, not mandatory) we received full benefits, they paid 100% of our housing, and medical bills along with his active full time employment pay. While he was deployed the FRG was in contact with me often along with someone from his unit to make sure I was taken care of while he was gone. And by law his current full time employer kept his job and it was waiting for him when he returned without any issues. His mandatory deployments lasted no longer than 3-6 months, usually less than that though, and a couple of his state side volunteer deployments/missions and training/schooling I got to travel with him so we weren't apart. The reception my husband has received from others being a military member and a vet, has been nothing but kind and supportive, from gracious hand shakes and thanks yous, to people buying him free drinks, paying for meals at restaurants unexpectedly etc., also lots of military discounts from various places of business, recently we got 500.00 off our car purchase at a dealership. However I realize this is not always the case for every military member. My husband told me last night that the military is trying to provide more mental health programs and are very aware of the PTSD and suicide issues. He said that his base and unit have received a lot more training on mental health in the last few years and more programs are being made available for military members and their families. Some of it has to do with budgeting, and the cuts in military spending though, decisions made not by the military but by our government. Also being someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD from a trauma that happened to me in college, I know it's not always easy to ask for help or seek help even when it's made available, there can be feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment involved among other difficulties and emotional struggles. I'm not sure about the idea that the military shouldn't be all volunteer but equal responsibility, there are some people I wouldn't want to have to depend on fighting in a war, and having people serving in a war that had no choice at all to be there (didn't volunteer) could be dangerous in certain situations and cause loss of life. For some they are proud to serve, they want to serve, they feel honored to be a part of the military. They know and accept that there are risks that can come with the job. As can be similar risks for any other service job like police, fireman, EMT, etc. Some of the service men and women I know wouldn't be happy at a desk job working 9-5, they like the excitement, the travel, feeling like you're part of something bigger than yourself, and the comradery of their fellow service men and women. They do not all come from poor families, many could have just gone straight to college, like my husband, but wanted to serve their country instead. My experiences with the military have been more good than bad, I know it's different for everyone though, and I'm sure DH being in the AF guard instead of active and not gone as much on mandatory deployments and having a fairly "safe" job that he choose is part of that. I'm sure if he was on the frontlines fighting, I would probably have a very different outlook on the military.

I would tell her that you never wanted her to move out under bad circumstances but if she has her mind made up to go because she is expected to pay for these things then so be it. Is she planning on any type of College? Both of my children, DS16 and DD20, have paid for their own cell phones since they got them. They have also paid for their own insurance. They knew that they would have to long before it came to be. Outside of the occasional disagreement or butting of heads my kids are very respectful. A lot of "I love you"s and so on. Even in front of their friends. I still have a problem with how messy their rooms are but I'm trying not let it get to me so much. My DD20 and I have had that as our biggest problem. The fighting would be hard for me to take. You did not state as to when she became so disrespectful. Has she always been that way or has it come on in the last year. Is she afraid of what she is going to do after graduation? Sometimes that can send a kid into a tail spin. She should be expected to speak to you and DH in a kind and respectful manner. I would venture the guess that she maybe a bit spoiled. Do you have other kids? If she is throwing a fit about paying these two expenses she is in for a real shock when she moves out. The best thing you can do for her is to let her pay her own way some before she gets out into the real world.

This reviewed published scientific paper confirmed the usefulness of heavy plastic mulches against Bermuda Grass, and found some organic mulches that were also effective. http://hortsci.ashspublications.org/content/43/3/795.full From the abstract: "Therefore, a 2-year study was conducted under 15-year-old mandarin trees to compare the effects of rice straw mulch, cattail mulch, black plastic mulch, hand hoeing, cultivation, glyphosate, and unweeded control treatments on weed control, fruit yield, and fruit quality. The greatest control (94%–100%) of weeds occurred with the plastic mulch (200 or 150 μm) and three mulch layers of rice straw or cattail. Covering soil with cattail or rice straw mulch (two layers) gave 85% to 98% control of weeds. Uncontrolled weeds in the weedy control caused significant reduction in yield and fruit quality and decreased the yield/tree by 62% compared with hand hoe treatment. Plastic mulches of 200 and 150 μm, cattail (Cyprus articulatus L.) mulch (two or three layers) and two mulch layers of rice (Oryza sativa L.) straw treatments significantly increased the fruit yield/tree by 24%, 18%, 20%, 11%, and 12% more than cultivation treatment, respectively, without significant differences among these superior treatments. Soil mulching with three layers of rice straw, cultivation, glyphosate, and 80-μm plastic mulch treatments caused a significant reduction in weed density and weed biomass, but gave lower yield than superior treatments. Which weeds were in the experiment? " The major grass weeds present on the experimental site were bermudagrass [Cynodon dactylon (L.) Pers.], barnyardgrass [Echinochloa colonum (L.) Link], torpedo grass (Panicum repens L.), and sandbur (Cenchrus pennisetiformis, Hochst. & Steud.) as a grass, and redroot pigweed (Amaranthus retroflexus L.), common purslane (Portulaca oleracea L.), and petty spurge (Euphorbia peplus L.) as broadleaf weeds."