Maybe you should send him a letter and let him know what you have heard and remind him what the divorce decree says and even send him a xerox copy with that particular area highlighted. Tell him since he hasn't found it in himself to be a father to his own kids, the least he could do is pay for their college. Also tell him that if he ceases to pay as the decree says that you will take him to court and then he will have to pay for an attorney as well. Tell him also that you will also be asking for an increase in support back to the date he received his big raise and see how he like that. You may also want to contact an attorney and go for an initial consultation and get some advice on what you will be up against. Why some ex's can be so cruel to their own flesh and blood is beyond me. Good luck and keep you chin up.

I have already contacted an attorney's office in the state I was divorced in. They will return my call tomorrow. All the attorney's here say to go to CSEA. I will get this straightened out. I wonder if I can get something for pain and suffering after all the crap I have to deal with in this situation.
What really gets me is the way his evil wife is. I could never imagine being married to a man and telling him that his kids are not to be a part of his life. This thing he married even moved out for a weekend after they first got married because he was taking his boys to the races and she told him no. After that, all contact with the kids stopped. I have nothing good to say about her, definitely nothing that I could put in a post. He is just as bad for letting her control it. If I had it to do over again, I never would have gotten married to any one. It is not worth the heartbreak and the pain.

*If I had it to do over again, I never would have gotten married to any one. It is not worth the heartbreak and the pain.*

No, I can tell by your post that you wouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water. Sounds like you love your children very much and this has been building up for a long time. Hang in there. I know at times it's hard when you've got circumstances staring you in the face...such as financing college...but things will pull thru for you. May take time (took us 7yrs to get our CS payments ironed out) but everything will be worked out.

Have you looked into grants or student loans for your child in the event child support does stop? Please look at this as an option. They've got tons of stuff available for students.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted about what the attorney's say.

my son is receiving grants and loans and a partial scholarship too. However the government figures out what the expected family contribution should be. I can have it recalculated with my income less the child support I had claimed.
My son will be living at home 5 months out of the year. He does work during the summer, but I don't feel that with the income his father has that he should have to spend that money on living expenses. That guy is a deadbeat father even while he's paying child support.
When we got divorced he asked for no visitation. the judge lectured him on the importance a father has in a son life and asked why he was not asking for visitation. His response? His job took up all of his time and he was unable to make a committment because of the hours he worked. It's not like the idiot is a brain surgeon or anything important. He's a district manager of a retail store.
I am just angry and frustrated. I really appreciate the support I receive here. Thanks.

Your son's situation sucks...as the "new" wife and stepmother to two wonderful boys i find it deplorable that father's do not support their children and sometimes forget them when they get remarried...the one thing that attracted me most to my husband was that he made it quite clear in the beginning that his sons will always be his sons and that he will continue to do anything for them...i have a child from a previous marriage who now calls his SF "dad"...his own father hasn't the time or the "money" to support him and since my son was 18 mo, my husband has fullfilled the role of a dad in all ways..we have twin boys together...although it's been hard blending the family we work everyday to ensure each child feels loved, listened to and cherished!

It offends me when I hear of situations like this because not all new wives or stepmoms are B's...some of us love our stepchildren...how can we not, they are part of our husband's. It puzzles me...insecurity perhaps.

If he does stop paying, then let it be a lesson learned to your son...he may have to work harder to get through school, it may take longer if he has to work part time, but God willing he mature to be a better man than his father!

Lynne

I have been a single mother since my son was 3 years old and he is now 18. I know that many states now have the same laws regarding child support, I am surprised yours took the helpless attitude that they did. You have the option of having your ex's wages garnished. Plus, you can file to have the child support order adjusted for the ex's increase in wages. The support order goes according to a schedule based on how much money the ex earns. The judge will re-look at the wages and will adjust accordingly. In the state of California, the child support division was very good about contacting me to keep the information current regarding wages, address, etc. But, once you have an order in place to collect child support via garnished wages, you are in the system and they will follow up for you. You sometimes have to push them. Most states consider child support a top priority and will also garnish income tax returns and put a lien on property. So, they will work with you and for you. Most child support agencies are swamped, so you do have to keep at them. This could be why they took the attitude that they did. Call them a lot. Don't be afraid to bug them, that is what the agency is for - it's put in place to secure financial support for your loved ones. A lot of tears and frustration you go through, I know. You don't want your children to go through the rejection by their father. Keep your chin up, you will see a brighter future. Your sons will love you even more through the years knowing you stuck by them (I know, how can anyone not?) and the rewards will be awesome. Keep up the positive support for them. Write and let us know how you are doing.

Just wanted to give an alternate information site (group) for everyone before they turn these boards to a pay site. I am the Oregon coordinator for a non profit group of people that help with support issues. My husband and I are both owed support so I will not be here after we have to pay to post, the money goes to the kids. Anyway, the main site is nation wide, at http://www.p4cse.com my sub-site is listed below. Please feel free to contact me.
Ally

Here is a link that might be useful: Oregon P4CSE