My house is a "no smoking" house. Visitors know not to light up inside. No one is allowed to smoke in my car. And I would never leave any children with someone who smokes.

My mom and dad quit smoking when they had children (this was in the early 1960s). But I remember when I entered the workforce. The first office in which I worked had five heavy smokers and me. By the time I left each day, I probably had inhaled the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes. My clothes and hair stunk and I had to shower every night just to stand myself. Thank God for the anti-smoking laws that have outlawed smoking in the workplace.

As for your own smoking, please, please, please try to quit again. I have a co-worker who quit smoking last year with the help of Varenicline. It's a prescription drug that helps control nicotine cravings, but doesn't contain nicotine. She said it took about two weeks to kick in, but she literally had no cravings for cigarettes. You're doing what's right for the sake of your children now. Stopping smoking will help you do what's right for your children when they're adults. It'll save them from having to watch you die a slow, painful death from lung cancer, emphysema, etc.

Try to get the court order again. I can't imagine a judge not granting it.

I seem to recall hearing about or reading about some legislation that is being created somewhere that would make it illegal for people to smoke when small children are in the car. It's along the same lines as the legislation that's being passed about using hand-held cellphones while driving. I'm not sure what state was pushing that legislation, but my guess is somewhere like California or one of the other states that pushed through the "no smoking in bars/restaurants" legislation. I remember that it was being sponsored by a little girl though.

I'm a closet smoker. I'm totally motivated by my environment. Quitting on Halloween for good (for family reasons). I've gone cold turkey before and will again. I seem to really have more of a love affair with them than a true addiction. I've gone weeks without and suffered no withdrawl symptoms. They're just my old friend in times of stress.

My SS's mom smokes with him in the car and he constantly comes back from her house with a cough. She doesn't believe it's related. Dummy.

I, too, have a no-smoking house, car, office, etc. I'm a dentist and caught many oral cancer cases in my years of practice. I've never tried smoking even once - when around smoke, I get horrible headaches and I hate the smell that gets into my hair (which is quite long) and clothes.

I don't envy those w/ addictions of any kind. However, I urge you who smoke to please quit NOW. Four years ago, I drove 4 hours each way to see my aunt and say "good-bye." She was dying of lung cancer, about 6 years after throat cancer nearly ended her life. She never quit smoking.

After our good-byes, I was inconsolable as I left her room. Upstairs, her oldest DD was chain smoking and her younger DD was doing the same on the door step, awaiting her ride to the airport to return to her home in another state. Both were devastated and both had DDs looking on. I said, "Please don't keep doing this. If you do, it will be your DDs feeling the pain you have right now. Don't do this to them."

Friends, please don't pay the tobacco companies to kill you. Quit for your children's sakes. Please.

Dana

I smoke,although very lightly (about 5 a day) and I would not let my daughter go to someone's house where they allowed smoking in the house. I smoke outside.

A neighbor I had some issues with is a very heavy smoker,who smokes in her house.Her daughter is constantly sick and sounds like she always has a cough. She stands firm it is not from her smoking (how dumb can you be,anyways? With all the info about it out there,this lady is obviously living in denial!)
Anways,we had problems because she gets mad I dont want my child in her house.
I may smoke,but that does not mean my child should have to be exposed to it! I'm going to try quitting again soon as well.
Stick to your guns~this is your children.Personally,I dont think anyone should smoke indoors unless they live alone~because it can even effect pets!

Thank you Friends, I'm sure the toxins get into all kinds of other places in the body too. I read a heart patients placemat that had health info on it, that said a cup of coffee as well as one cigarette will deplete a full days supply of vitamin C my neighbors husband has smoked whereever he wanted for 50 years then she went down with bone cancer in two months. She was a none smoker. I know 3 other non-smoking ladies who died young from cancer. I' aware that there's other threats in life, yet to ignore an obvious one.... Why this issue has to take my time is that the ex and her husband could care less, they have never missed a lick because of the court order. He lied where I had him in court last summer. I've listened to my kids hack and cough. Anyway thank you all very much. I'm going to get the ex soon on the smoking on my kids. This new Judge wants the kids on the stand.

My sisters DH smokes. They have no children at home. He is only allowed to smoke outside. Not house. Not car. She has a airfiltrator in his study, and extra filters on A/C so as to keep smell from his clothes at a minimu.

I have some clothing that my father wore when he was in the army - in World War II. It still smells like smoke. I don't think you can ever get the smell out.

No one has ever smoked in my house, or in my car. I was horrified when I went to a restaurant in another state and was asked if I wanted to be seated in the non-smoking section. I had assumed that smoking was banned in restaurants nationwide, not just in some states.

No smoking bans here. (In this town at least.)

....and although I DETEST smoking, I'm kinda glad that that it hasn't turned into a legislative issue in this town yet. I'm plenty smart enough to avoid it... :)

Not defending second-hand smoke by any means, but...

Simron, aren't your children all in their mid- to late- teens?
And aren't you having constant legal battles with your Ex and her husband?
And always ending up on the losing side?

Given all that, I'd question the purity of your motives...

I was kind of thinking the same thing sweeby...

after 12 years you want to revisit this issue?

Have you NEVER smoked where your children have access to? your car your house? nor allowed anyone else to smoke where your children have access to? if so then you are violation as too...

Pick your battles is this one worth it after 12 years?

I don't like visitors to smoke in my home, but if they light up, I don't say anything. If they come to visit for an a few days with us that is another thing. My son practically lights one cigarette off of the one he is smoking. I let him smoke the 4 days he was here, but if he lived with me he would have to go outside. It took me about 4 days with bowls of vinegar set around the house to get rid of the odor.

I haven't had anyone light up in my home except him and he asked first. Most people are very aware that non smokers and some smokers don't allow it.

Sweeby, I do question my motives, regularly, and my perspectives are always subject to self serving or hearing only what I want to hear, thats what I watch out for. Possibly you could explain the perspective and motive that would subject a young teen to regular second hand smoke. I have dealt with this issue for twelve years, now proof is available, is that the time to give up? Cawfecup, rationalizing, denial or self blame could make someone not take a responsibility like there kids health serious. No I haven't subjected them to it in a car or my home. Sweeby the exs husband spent 4000 on an attorney last summer getting out of the charges I pressed on him for terrerizing my daughter. He hasn't done it since. So I guess I'll be on the job till I can't be anymore

I think in addition to the dangers of second hand smoke, the parents are setting a terrible example -- and how do you make certain a child doesnt smoke? The house must smell??

No Smoking in my house. Period. Not only does my youngest SS have past respiratory problems but I lost my mother to lung cancer (mrs. three packs a day) at a young age so I'm miss anti-tobacco. We did have the judge put in a stipulation against BM drinking and smoking in the presence of the boys, its been fun trying to enforce that though...

I'm not sure where I stand on this issue. I have known people who smoked all their lives and were cancer free, I have known people who never smoked a single day in their lives and died of lung cancer. I grew up around second hand smoke and was never sickly, and I feel that not smoking in public should be out of respect not enforced by laws. Second hand smoke of course would be an irritant to some kids and I think a concerned parent should take it outside, but then I think it should be up to the parent too. Imagine if my parents would of keep me away from second hand smoke I would of missed out on a lot of good memories with my grandparents. and it may be just me but it seems a little disrespectful to tell your own parents not to smoke after they feed and clothed you for 18 years?!

How can it be disrespectful to protect your health and that of your children? I think smoking around your children is abusive.

I had no idea there were so many smokers left. None of my 15 or so coworkers smoke and I have never seen any of the parents smoke at my kids' lessons. None of my neighbors smoke. It is pretty much a non-issue around here.

It's a slippery slope though,cuz I think parents who over feed their children are abusive.But yes,exposing a child to second hand smoke when it can easily be avoided is somewhat abusive. I do not find it hard to step outside for 5 minutes.
Because I live so close to the city,I actually know more smokers than non-smokers.

However, giving your children the correct quantity of food is somewhat subjective and imprecise. Too much may not be good, too little is definitely not good. Any level of cigarette smoke is bad.

I don't know if there are more smokers in the city, but smoking rates definitely vary by state, and my state has one of the lower rates. Nationwide, the rate is 20.9%, according to the CDC.

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/Factsheets/adult_cig_smoking.htm

There is a lot of information on the effects of secondhand smoke here:

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/secondhand_smoke/index.htm

How can it be disrespectful to protect your health and that of your children? I think smoking around your children is abusive.

Sorry to offend, in my culture it is disrespectful to question the authority of elders, and yeah I think thats whats wrong with our society. You can't protect your children from everything and when you try sometimes you do more damage to the child. I grew up around second hand smoke and I'm fine. I don't know a lot of smokers, and those that do respect others and smoke away from nonsmokers.

20% seems like a high percentage to me

In my culture it is not considered disrespectful to protect the health of innocent children.

Children are encouraged in school to try to convince their parents to quit smoking.

You may not be able to protect children from everything, but you can certainly protect them from secondhand smoke.

plasticgarden,

Twenty percent seemed high to me as well, but the figure was a lot lower for those with more education - only seven percent of those with a graduate degree smoke. I assume that I know so few smokers because I live in a state with a relatively low percentage of smokers, and in a community where many of the residents have completed college.

Returning to this thread, because I,m going to court seeking a contempt and sanctions against the ex and her husband for the ETS eviroment they impose on the kids. My daughter has had a very serious respiratory infection for the last three months. My 16 yr old boy, has a loud congestion in the lower lungs. That is only heard on occasion. My BD has gotten these infections every winter, being inside so much. I have pics of her very red faced when hacking as a younger child. My 19 year old is out of there, he said he cannot tolerate second hand smoke at all. That he was indifferent to it when he lived there. The 15 year old and the 19, are training for marathon running. The 15 year old is conditioned to be afraid of being rejected by his BM if he questions there methods. Rejection of course is another form of abuse. I VERY MUCH appriciate the support I,ve recieved here on this forum. Those that condone ETS , should look into the dangers of denial, rationalizing, projection, displacement and other unhealthy ego defense mechanisms. Free will from God allows us to harm ourselves if we choose. Freedom from our Veterans is wonderful thing. To impose risk to Child's health for ones own addiction, can be for no other reason than not understanding consequences, a low sense of awareness. And worst of all, indifference. I read that 45% of Americas children live in ETS. Also that 26% of Americans Smoke. That means that the smokers have the most kids! Right? We must teach our kids how to say NO! Some ways on how to do that is to teach them what peer pressure is and how it affects them. Then they have the power to battle it. Teach them what addiction is, how strong it is, how to avoid it. If it is maybe too late for some of us, surley we can heighten a kids awareness. thus heighting there self esteem, identity and confidence. Cheers, Simron

I'm glad you revived this thread.. It hadn't occurred to me that my SD's constant coughing spells/sore throats (following return from her mom's house) could be caused by her mom smoking around her. Her mom is a heavy smoker but not sure if she smokes in the house or while the kids are in the car with her. Gives us something to think about. Thanks.

smoking in a house or a car with children of any age is absolutelly unacceptable. 2nd hand smoking is extremelly dangerous.

Smoking around children is wrong and inconsiderate. If an adult wants to take the risks associated with smoking then that is their choice, but do not expose a child to the risks! My son has asthma and I always told him that if he was ever at a friend or relatives house and they were smoking he was to go into another room, if they asked why he was to tell them it bothered his asthma. If it is not possible for the court to enforce the no smmoking ban then maybe you can tell your children to leave the room when someone is smoking or roll down windows in the car. I have not read all the other posts on here, but have you tried talking to your ex? OR had your childs doctor talk to your ex about how serious it is?

Thanks for validating my concerns, The Doctor was animate about his no smoking order. My ex dropped the doctor after I told him they wouldn't stop. She now withholds the medical card that I am supposed to have. Which was last ordered 11-18-08 . Her Husband and herself are about thereselves. I am trying to stay angry. Its hard to drag the kids into court, knowing how they will manipilate them. I have to submitt a witness list to the court very shortly. Attempts will be made by the ex and her husband to twist the kids minds. The kids are very passive and afraid of them. They have already convinced my daughter that her testimony would send her Mother to jail. So its on my daughters shoulders to save her Mom. My daughter was very withdrawn the whole afternoon and evening before she told me this. She had broke into tears like three times, She didn't go on the hay ride, she didn't join the cook out, or visit with the family at our gathering that evening. I asked my two older boys to nurture her that she was having a hard time. My 19 yr old said," She just went back to the house crying, because I said something wrong" I went in and told her, that her self esteem shouldn't depend on her brother, I didn't know what was bothering her. I've been with her when her Mom has ripped her on the phone. They've created a crisis for my daughter whenever she was with me, again and again. As I walked her to her car she gave me the message. That she dosn't remember anything because she don't want her Mom going to jail. The Boys are stronger, yet still afraid of theres Mom's wailings of poor me, poor me. How could you do this to me ETC. Or she will scream, rant and rave, reject, blame, all the stuff kids can't figure out. I'm going to get very assertive in court, I won't be shut down this time. This time I will let the court know I am fed up with the lies. Right. Thank you for the questions and the comments and advice. I dont think the next room is adequate for your sons asthma. You might research it. Cheers, Simron

When my boyfriend got full custody of his children we moved to a new apartment for space. We decided that we were not going to smoke in the house or directly around the girls (i.e. car). Honestly, we have both noticed a difference in their health since they moved in with us. While with Biomom everyone smoked up her apartment with the girls there. The girlies ALWAYS had colds and sinus issues and at one point we thought one of them might have asthma. Nope. It was all the smoke. Dad and I are both going to try and quit. Not because we actually think that by quiting we can shield them from all second hand smoke, unrealistic. But because it is a proven fact that kids that have parents that smoke are WAY more lilkely to be smokers themselves. Niether of us want that on our conscience.