justmeto ::: Im going to try and answer some of your comments...His son has gone through this many cars i wasnt trying to be nosey he brought it up so i asked. and the cars that i have seen and have seen his dad purchase are very nice cars..his son likes to blow engines or set them on fire witch he has now been caught or just totalls them.and now that i am married to my husband it is my bussiness. he has 1 adult daughter that works the other to do not.my husband asked me to make that trip because he couldnt and part of having a relationship is working together as a team.I was not trying to replace her mother my husband asked me to clean them rooms for her did i want to know but i did what he asked me to. I have never tryed to take there moms place ever nor will i all i wanted was for them to give me a chace to be the wife i am to my husband. yes i did put out flowers but i did it for the mom and for my husband out od RESPECT did you not read that and yes they should have said thank you but again i guess its all in how you are raised. if i cant make it to my mothers grave and a friend of mine does and she puts flowers on the grave i tell her thank you. its called being polite.i did not run into anything to fast i have a family and still do. but i can tell you if my adult kids ever treated my husband with that much disrespect they would not be allowed to be in my home tell they treated him with that respect. but i can say that my kids have always been very nice to my husband. maybe its because the way they were raised..the things i do for his kids are things he ask me to do if i had my way i wouldnt do a thing for them after the way they have treated me.. they have never even givin me a chance. i wonder why my husbands friends and my husbands decesed wife friends all tell me im the best thing thats happen to my husband since his wife has passed they have known them for over 20 years.. and they also tell me the ladys anyways there is no woman in this town that would put up with all you have.. they see it.. but i tell them i love my husband and want him to be happy.i beleive i did say i didnt have a problem with the photos being there but that it did kinda hurt my heart,, but they are still on the wall and yes he does see them as much as i do. there is also a photo of where she died at above the kitchen table so yes there are alot of her and his things still here i have never asked him to put away his memories nor will i.like i told amber this is my first time on here maybe you should try to be alittle more understanding. sometimes the new step mom or dad really do get a hard time why because the mother or father choose to remarry. and thats all i have done

Bless their hearts!!!!! There should be more people in the world like them!! DB & DSIL have a little boy living with them right now. He is about 19 months old. Long and sad story, but I give them credit for taking him (he's a relatives child) She is DH's age. (56) I am not sure I'd have the energy to do it. I don't know the legalities of their story, eventually the mother will have a chance to get the little boy back. I know there will be some hearts broken in the end (theirs & the little guy) if/when he leaves.But they have done the right thing for the child.

thank you both. much has happened in the past month..i have been making progress with CBT and EMDR and guided meditation..working on ways to have discussions with out arguments..i feel i have more control over my emotions and able to speak up more. "It is *not* normal to expect someone to live in such close quarters with so many other people, unless you're on a submarine." exactly! and for some reason he thought it was ok..and thought it selfish of me to want to want them out and to be alone.. relationships are compromise.. i let them stay , it was kind of me and they took advantage of it. . good news they left last week and i have my upstairs space back! hubby and i are not speaking for the past few days.. as they kids left a big mess with food trash in the room.. when i told him that they disrespected me he thought that i was being crazy..(His whole family has a hoarder trash problem. his mom the worst and i guess it passed on DNA because they think it is normal! .i am not OCD, just want to be rodent free!) i have been in therapy and what is making my life so stressful is his family and his need to take care of them..casting my needs aside.. they are all good..his mom re married and has money, kids have jobs and cars and are not into drugs or alcohol..all good⦠y et he does not take care of me..never a dinner out or a vacation...he still feels that he should pay his daughters car loan and insurance when she just got a raise and is earning 30K now..he thinks of them as high school kids and they are around 25.. I did ask him to go to therapy to work out this spouse vs his kids/mom problem.. i am standing my ground and i funny, am not upset anymore..time will tell if he makes changes in his life to cherish me, he is depressed and his decision making is not taking my life , desires and feelings into account.. life is short and i am feeling my age and i will not live my life according to other peoples decisions any longer. i do love him so. smart , talented , works and learns..but to be cast aside and my feeling ignored and told it is because i am crazy and "on my period" is just more of what men do to women when women voice their opinion. i cleaned the upstairs and have a nice bed and sewing area and it is clean and peaceful. nice to hear from you ladies with good advice. i hope that you see this post back to you..i have met some nice women on line... now to get him into a few sessions and some reading material . perhaps he will try to meditate or guided meditation. i have a trained person that has helped me "see".. best d.dee

You are sad because your partner didn't react the way you wanted him to... and I can understand that. Sometimes people don't always act the way we want them to when they are under stress. It is normal for all of us to care about people from our past, especially if there was once a loving relationship, and even more so if a child is at risk. It's part of the Human Condition. (I guess I'd worry more if he didn't care.) Your partner probably doesn't know where to go with your feelings.... and so walked away. His caring about them doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just that he's a good man.