I think if he collects child porn as you indicated in your other post, there is no question that he is mentally ill. Drug use is often a symptom of mental health issues as well.

Some of the other things don't seem out of line to me - sleeping the day away, and staying up all night, playing video games all the time, not voluntarily working - those are normal teenage boy patterns. I don't think that being quiet is a problem, either - most of my kids are really quiet around people they don't know well.

How did he manage to graduate, much less get admitted to graduate school, with an average below 2.0? All the colleges my kids went to would have kicked a student out with that average.

I am sorry that your spouse left you after you had supported him for years. That happens way too often, and it is too bad that the courts don't force the jerks to reimburse their spouses. That's the least they could do.

" I think if he collects child porn as you indicated in your other post, there is no question that he is mentally ill. Drug use is often a symptom of mental health issues as well.
Some of the other things don't seem out of line to me - sleeping the day away, and staying up all night, playing video games all the time, not voluntarily working - those are normal teenage boy patterns."

As usual TOS'posts are totally lacking basic common sense so let's re-establish a sense of reality .

Collecting CHILD PORN is not a "symptom of mental illness", is a HUGE FELONY (TOS, how would you like somebody collecting child porn of YOUR children, would you justify him because he has a mental illness or because is a stepkid ?) , a federal one actually,and if scaruso57 or her husband let this"collection" of abused children'images in their house or just DON?T NOTIFY THE RELEVANT AUTHORITIES of its very existence, they are committing themselves a felony and not abiding to their moral duty, that is protecting the children abused in those images.

CHILD PORN IS ILLEGAL.

DRUG USE TOO. So a drug user can go in rehab or in jail: again TOS would you like a drug user in your house ?

About the rest (sleeping the day away, and staying up all night, playing video games all the time, not voluntarily working ) the "boy" is 26 !
The teenage yeears should be over from at least 6 years.

By the way, TOS, according to you at which age somebody should start to work for a living, witout sponging off his parents/wife etc..25, 26, 30, 40 ?
I am just curious.
You wrote to scaruso that "I am sorry that your spouse left you after you had supported him for years. That happens way too often, and it is too bad that the courts don't force the jerks to reimburse their spouses. That's the least they could do" so it would be okay FOR A 26 YEAR OLD GRADUATE sponge off his father and stepmother but not his wife, if he had one ? INTERESTING.

1) Between 10 and 16 percent of the prison population have been diagnosed with a serious psychiatric illness. Many drug users are also mentally ill. Just because someone commits a crime certainly doesn't mean they are NOT mentally ill. Would you claim that serial murderers are not mentally ill, just because they are committing felonies?

I wouldn't enjoy having someone who suffered from schizophrenia or other serious mental illness and who was not medicated in my house, whether or not he or she was committing crimes. I wouldn't expect scaruso to enjoy living with her SS, but her husband and SS are a package deal.

scaruso was describing the SS's behavior while he was in college, at which time he was a teenager or close to it.

I think it is understandable that a mentally ill young adult would "sponge off" his father or grandfather. I assume someone like that would not be ready for marriage, and I assume scaruso would not have married her ex-husband had he possessed those characteristics. One has to assume that he was not incapacitated by mental illness, if he was able to finish medical school, internship, and residency. If you are capable of completing medical school, you shouldn't have to be dependent on anyone.

Over and over on this board I have read that the biological mothers are alcoholics, drug-addicted, and/or psychotic. All of these have a strong genetic component. Yet many of the SM's seem to be surprised and disbelieving when the children exhibit signs of mental illness, and attribute their behavior to laziness or some other character flaw.

"1) Between 10 and 16 percent of the prison population have been diagnosed with a serious psychiatric illness. Many drug users are also mentally ill. Just because someone commits a crime certainly doesn't mean they are NOT mentally ill. Would you claim that serial murderers are not mentally ill, just because they are committing felonies?"

Your response once again not only miss the point but lacks common sense: while it can be true that a minority (if between 10 and 16 per cente of convicts have been diagnosed with a mental illness, it means also that between 90 and 84 per cent of convicts are sane) nevertheless COLLECTING CHILD PORN AT ANY AGE, TEENAGER OR ADULT, IS ILLEGAL AND AN HEINOUS CRIME.

If caruso'stepson is part of the above offenders'minority, once is aprehendended and diagnosed with a mental illness he can be cured after is convicted or put in a secure situation where he can not endanger anymore the lives of innocent children.

This is also what happens for serial killers, that are convicted or put in mental hospital to avoid further damage to other people, you don't leave them free to roam just because they are mentally ill.

I am sure that you as a concerned mother wish that all (26 years old stepkids or not) child porn collectors, are put behind bars so to not feed an industry based on child abuse.
"I wouldn't enjoy having someone who suffered from schizophrenia or other serious mental illness and who was not medicated in my house, whether or not he or she was committing crimes. I wouldn't expect scaruso to enjoy living with her SS, but her husband and SS are a package deal."

Moreover, if somebody living in your house, mentally ill or not, is committing crimes (AND COLLECTING CHILD PORN IS A CRIME), is not a question of enjoying is presence or not or accepting any package deal, if you don't report him YOU TOO ARE COMMITTING A CRIME, IS CALLED AIDING AND ABETTING.

Would you like somebody collecting porn OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN and his father or stepmother not reporting him ?
I would like a yes or not answer this time , please.

"scaruso was describing the SS's behavior while he was in college, at which time he was a teenager or close to it."

Please read the post, he is still behaving like this and by the way, AS USUAL, you did not answer my question: why is okay at 26, 30, 40 to sponge off your parents and not off your wife ? and at which age you are supposed to get on your feet ?

Caruso stepson is 26, has graduated and seems perfectly able to keep the "style" of life he enjoys so there is no indication of mental illness or incapability to get a job, just unwilligness.
Of course, now that caruso has decided to ask for a divorce, his father's available income will decrease and maybe he will HAVE to find a job.....

"Over and over on this board I have read that the biological mothers are alcoholics, drug-addicted, and/or psychotic. All of these have a strong genetic component. Yet many of the SM's seem to be surprised and disbelieving when the children exhibit signs of mental illness, and attribute their behavior to laziness or some other character flaw"

If you , as you have claimed, have a degree in biology, you should know very well that genetic inheritance is not a life sentence: children of severely mental ill, substance abusers or alcoholics parents do haveat most an increased risk of incurring in the same problems but 1) is not yet cleear if this is due to their genes or the parents'influence or family's enviroment in their formative years 2) most of these children in fact turn out fine, so even if there is some genetic marker, it is not decisive .

In other words, even if BOTH your parents are alcoholics or drug addicts, in the worst case your genes put you at an increased risk to get addicted more rapidly and severely if you consume alcohol or drugs, but you will not forced by your genetic inheritance tu buy drugs or to frequent bars.

Rehabs and AA groups are filled with former addicts and alcoholics (and there are many psychotics taking diligently their medication in order to lead normal lives) not touching from years drugs and alcohol through willpower, willingness to admit they have a problem and finding the right help so there is no reason why their children , even if they have really (it's a big controversy) inherited a tendency, can not do the same....

In short, if so many stepkids are really mentally ill, let's get them cured and not let's just condone their actions just because they are supposedly sick...

Just because only 10-16% have been diagnosed with a serious psychiatric illness doesn't mean many others are not also mentally ill - either less seriously or most likely not yet diagnosed.

Inheritance of mental illness is NOT controversial, it is an established fact that schizophrenia, bipolar, alcoholism, and other mental illnesses do have a strong genetic component. Obviously it doesn't mean you are guaranteed to inherit them. The alleles for many inherited diseases are recessive, and often there is a complex mechanism of inheritance.

Scaruso said she was "uncomfortable" with the porn he used to keep in his room (he doesn't live with them now, so how could they be accused of anything?). She didn't say she was worried about arrest, or even horrified, and she obviously has a better idea of the actual content than we do.

If you are capable of getting a medical degree, you are capable of supporting yourself. The SS clearly is not capable of getting a medical or other graduate degree.

You obviously do not want to believe he is mentally ill, so there is no point in discussing this further.

"Scaruso said she was "uncomfortable" with the porn he used to keep in his room (he doesn't live with them now, so how could they be accused of anything?). She didn't say she was worried about arrest, or even horrified, and she obviously has a better idea of the actual content than we do.

If you are capable of getting a medical degree, you are capable of supporting yourself. The SS clearly is not capable of getting a medical or other graduate degree."

Strong genetic component does not mean hereditary, means that it is easier for a patient to develop the illness or disease given certain condition: for instance for diabetes, there is a strong genetic component but given the proper diet and lifestyle only 30% of children of Type I Early Onset Diabetics develop the disease. Even if you inherit the BRCA genes for breast and ovarian cancer you have only a 50% possibility to develop these disease later in your life. So, no, strong genetic component is not a life sentence even in organic, "hard" disease like diabetes or cancer.

Moreover, many psychiatrists will confirm you that schizofrenia or psychosis are blanket definitions put upon a very diverse series of symptoms, probably underlining many different diseases and chemical imbalances of the brain chemistry hence the difficult of curing them. in fact doctors have to resort to a " test and try " approach to find the right combination between the right medication (there are hundreds, all different and all acting on different chemical brain processes) and therapy for each patient.

On alcoholism, most psychiatrists do not consider it a mental illness but a addiction that can be cured (and it is the most successful method by far) through self-help groups like AA: how a self-helf group could correct a genetic inheritance ?

Scaruso has stated in many post in this and other threads that her stepson had a huge collection of child porn and I am still waiting for your answer (yes or no please) : do you believe that child porn collectors, mentally ill or not, must be convicted and put in jail or in a mental hospital or do you believe they should be free if they happen to be somebody's 26 year old stepson ? If so , please explain why, I am curious.

BTW, if you know of such a collection (of a neighbor, stepson, father, son, even if you are just a cleaning lady and stumble upon it by chance) and you don't report it, you can be accused of aiding and abetting such a crime.
Again you did not answer my question: if somebody was collecting child porn, would you want his parents or stepparents to report him ?

About the graduate degree: scaruso'stepson HAS (read the posts!) a graduate degree in musical studies, so he's competent enough to follow a curriculum, pass examinations, write a paper, till now he has been also competent enough to spend his inheritance, cash checks and so on so no I don't believe he has a mental illness and your posts have not given me any additional reason to.

I believe instead that he knows very well on which side his bread is buttered.....

I have read the posts. He does NOT have a graduate degree. He dropped out shortly after starting the program.

She did not say he had a huge collection of CHILD porn. She said he had a large collection of porn, which made her uncomfortable. She did not specify whether she was certain the girls (I assume they were female) were definitely children, whether the pictures were definitely pornographic or were pictures that were just inappropriate or creepy when in the possession of a teenage boy, or whether the pictures were taken by an adult or something that a girl took herself and stupidly posted on myspace. We weren't there so we don't know what was going on. My daughter who is in her mid-twenties was once mistaken for a middle schooler, and that was in person, not just from a photograph. How do we know that the "preteen" she referred to wasn't really 17? For that matter, how does one know that the "18+" pornographic pictures readily available on the Internet are not really of girls younger than that?

Obviously no reasonable person wants anyone to take or possess pornographic pictures of their children. I wouldn't want anyone to take or possess any pictures of my children, period, unless there was a good, logical reason for doing so.

No, I wouldn't expect his parents to report him to the police, especially if he were a teenager. I would want them to get him help from a mental health professional.

"Strong genetic component does not mean hereditary"

Yes, actually it does.

The definition of hereditary is:
"genetically transmitted or transmittable from parent to offspring" according to the Merriam-Webster site at www.m-w.com.

Alcoholics Anonymous would disagree with your assertion that alcoholism is not an illness, and they firmly state that it can not be cured:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_is_aa_for_you.cfm?PageID=13&SubPage=77

Hi. TOS and SEARER:

I truly don't think my SS is mentally ill. I honestly just think he has been terribly spoiled and misguided. In my opinion, the spoiling is due to guilt. The misguided part was due to the fact that my husband was never disciplined, or given guidance by his parents. I think I now know why. My mother-in-law died not too long ago. In searching through her home to pack up her belonging etc. My husband found a note and adoption papers. Both my husband and his sister were adopted as infants. And never told the truth.

Regarding the porn. Part of it was what I call S & M stuff. Men dressed in leather having sex with women in bondage. I saw two nude shots, from the waist up, of girls with budding breasts. I would guess maybe between the ages of 12 and 14? They were not in bodage. But I found all of it disturbing. I did show them to my husband. He was angry with me for bringing looking through my SSs things. When really he left the box behing accidentally when he moved to CA to attend grad school. He was pretty upset, but would not through the pictures. He just took the box out to the garbage. I told him that if I found anything even remotely questionable again, that I would file a report with the authorities. My husband say that this is called "barely legal" stuff and that the girls look young, but are not.

Just wanted to clear that up.

Thanks,
Susan

scaruso,

Thanks for the additional info. I think "Men dressed in leather having sex with women in bondage" is B&D, not S&M, which involves pain.

Since your H was adopted, he will probably never know the medical history of his parents, which could be relevant to your stepson's behavior. I know you disagree, but there is such a wide range of mental illnesses and behavioral disorders your stepson could be afflicted with. At a minimum, I am relatively certain he could be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and executive function disorder.

"I saw two nude shots, from the waist up, of girls with budding breasts. I would guess maybe between the ages of 12 and 14? They were not in bodage. But I found all of it disturbing. I did show them to my husband. He was angry with me for bringing looking through my SSs things. When really he left the box behing accidentally when he moved to CA to attend grad school. He was pretty upset, but would not through the pictures. He just took the box out to the garbage. I told him that if I found anything even remotely questionable again, that I would file a report with the authorities. My husband say that this is called "barely legal" stuff and that the girls look young, but are not."

I undestand your position but you really did not do your civic and moral duty not reporting your stepson.

ANY SUSPICION of KIDDIE PORN (like photoes of girls with budding breasts) SHOULD BE INVESTIGATED AND CLEARED, TO MAKE SURE NO ACTUAL KIDS ARE INVOLVED, not left to the opinions of the families of the collector odf such porn.

About the fatct that your husband was angry WITH YOU for pointing it out, well it is ridiculous and not reported the material it to the relevant authorities, HE COMMITTED A CRIME TOO as even the suspicion of such a crime, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF MINORS, should be investigated immediately.

I know that divorce is painful and you are scared for your self, and I feel for your concerns (I am 44 myself) but I am glad you are out of there.

Finally you answered to my very simple question: Would you like somebody collecting porn OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN and his father or stepmother not reporting him ? "

and you answer consisted of:
1) we don't know if the photoes of girls with budding breasts were really of minors, you wrote "She did not specify whether she was certain the girls (I assume they were female) were definitely children, whether the pictures were definitely pornographic or were pictures that were just inappropriate or creepy when in the possession of a teenage boy, or whether the pictures were taken by an adult or something that a girl took herself and stupidly posted on myspace. We weren't there so we don't know what was going on. My daughter who is in her mid-twenties was once mistaken for a middle schooler, and that was in person, not just from a photograph. How do we know that the "preteen" she referred to wasn't really 17? For that matter, how does one know that the "18+" pornographic pictures readily available on the Internet are not really of girls younger than that?"

Well, surprise, surprise, the law don't leave to you or to the father of the said "photoes"collector to ascertain if the images are really of a preteen, of a 17+ or of an adult but says THAT EVEN JUST A SUSPICION OF KIDDIE PORN SHOULD BE REPORTED AND INVESTIGATED BY THE RELEVANT AUTHORITIES, even if the photo was taken by the girls ourselves.

2) at any event, you state that you would not like for anybody to have ANY KIND of photoes of your own children without good reason: why, if it such innocuous activity? Why deny such a simple pleasure to somebody else's poor mentally ill, wronged-by-his-unknown-genetic-inheritance stepson JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE YOUR OWN CHILDREN ?

You know, the two young girls with budding breasts are somebody's children too and should be protected by exploitation too, even if from supposedly mentally ill people (but how come somebody is too mentally ill to work but not mentally ill enough to not to be able to cash checks and bonds of his inheritance ? It really perplexes me...)

3) you would not expect the offender's parents or stepparents to report him but just " to get him mental help": and while they look for the mental help the offender can continue to SEXUAL EXPLOIT CHILDREn (as long THEY ARE NOT YOUR OWN CHILDREN) or if the cure fail, well he can go on collecting and exploiting children till the parents or stepparents find the right doctor or meditation (AS LONG HE IS NOT COLLECTING YOUR OWN CHILDREN'S PHOTOES) ? and what if such a "collector" is not mentally ill? The parents or step parents should then report him or not ?
Just answer yes or not , please

BTW I am surprised that such a moral person as you, that has ranted post after post against adultery, divorce, the supposed damage to children of their divorced parents dating or worse re-marrying etc...is passing over so easily the mere possibility of SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF MINORS. It is strange that you , so ready to scrutinize all the nuance of every stepparent's action on this board are so easy about this..

And you are open and knowledgeable to bondage too, as I see from your last post: "I think "Men dressed in leather having sex with women in bondage" is B&D, not S&M, which involves pain": again would be okay for YOUR OWN ADULT CHILDREN to be involved in BONDAGE & DOMINATION as long it is not SADISM & MASOCHISM, involving pain ?

Just let us know with a yes or no please, so we can know where you stand on this ...
Maybe you feel that B&D (but maybe not S&M ?) is okay as long it is not adulterous....

"I know you disagree, but there is such a wide range of mental illnesses and behavioral disorders your stepson could be afflicted with. At a minimum, I am relatively certain he could be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and executive function disorder."

of course there a lot of mental illnesses scaruso stepson could be diagnosed with (and if he is apprehended with child porn, even 17 year old budding breasts'images are KIDDIE PORN, I am sure his lawyer will make sure he is diagnose with one or two to lessen his jail term) but even the two "you are certain of" (are you a tained psychiatrist ? are you licensed to diagnose online ?) can be cured and medicated and do not force you to engage in any ILLEGAL behaviour, like purchasing and consuming drugs or perusing child porn. In fact the majority of the people affected by these mentall illnesses does not engage in any illegal activities....

BTW, would you like somebody's like caruso'stepson as best buddy of one of your children ? and if not, why ? if he is such a poor lost lamb....

Searer,

You have just gone completely off the deep end with your latest rant. Not only did you merge words from scaruso's post with words from my previous post and then claimed that my post was in answer to her later post, but later on you misquoted me by leaving out "relatively," which changes the meaning of the sentence, and then you start ranting about B&D. And why would I care if consenting single/married-to-each-other partners were into B&D, just because I have no interest in it?

Scaruso and her husband are in a much better position to judge whether the SS was actually committing a crime than either you or I. I suspect it might be fairly easy to find "barely legal" pictures on the Internet; I have received spam with those words in the subject a couple of times, along with all the spam for enlarging body parts I don't have. Neither you nor I have actually seen the pictures. I suspect that a picture of me before I had kids might have looked like that even though I was over 21 - who knows?

And thanks to the vast majority of posters on this forum, who, though they have often disagreed with me, did not intentionally misquote me and who remained at all times coherent.

TOS before defining my post "rants" and writing that i intentionally confuse your answers to scaruso with the answers to my las posts, please read it: my last post begins with : "Finally you answered to MY very simple question: "Would you like somebody collecting porn OF YOUR OWN CHILDREN and his father or stepmother not reporting him ? "

Reread my last post and show me where I misquoted you, otherwise I will report you to the boards'adminstrator as somebody advocating not reporting sexual offenders (CHILD PORN COLLECTORS, even of just 2 images of prepubescent girls ARE SEXUAL OFFENDERS). It is time you came out from your moral and legal ambiguity on this point

To get this matter absolutely clear, as it concerns the moral position and action to take in view of even the possibility of such an heinous crime like the sexual exploitation of minors, i will cite INTEGRALLY your next to last post.

YOU wrote:

"She did not say he had a huge collection of CHILD porn. She said he had a large collection of porn, which made her uncomfortable. She did not specify whether she was certain the girls (I assume they were female) were definitely children, whether the pictures were definitely pornographic or were pictures that were just inappropriate or creepy when in the possession of a teenage boy, or whether the pictures were taken by an adult or something that a girl took herself and stupidly posted on myspace. We weren't there so we don't know what was going on. My daughter who is in her mid-twenties was once mistaken for a middle schooler, and that was in person, not just from a photograph. How do we know that the "preteen" she referred to wasn't really 17? For that matter, how does one know that the "18+" pornographic pictures readily available on the Internet are not really of girls younger than that?

Obviously no reasonable person wants anyone to take or possess pornographic pictures of their children. I wouldn't want anyone to take or possess any pictures of my children, period, unless there was a good, logical reason for doing so.

No, I wouldn't expect his parents to report him to the police, especially if he were a teenager. I would want them to get him help from a mental health professional."

This is your original next to last post.

About its first statementI i must remind you and the board'administrators that EVEN THE SUSPICION of sexual exploitation of minors must be reported and investigated: if the said photoes are 2 or 100, of 17 year old or a prepubescent-looking 25 year old, according to the law against sexual exploitation of minors, can not and should be left to the judgement of the families and friends of the possible offenders...

About the second statement , I see that you don't like the idea of somebody's having any kind of photoes of YOUR OWN children without good reason.

So I will ask you for the SECOND TIME (the first was in my last "raving" post) why you find acceptable for somebody to collect naked photoes of somebody's else children, I would like a clear answer from such a moral, quick to judge person like you, always so certain about other people's and particularly step parents'behaviours.

About the third statement of your next to last post: finding mental help for a kiddie porn collector is not acceptable in the eyes of the law for the simple reason that, provided that the sexual offender agree to get treated, while his family or friends find the right help, he is free to continue the sexual exploitation of minors.

So the choice of reporting this kind of crimes is not given to parents, mates, spouse and not even to maids, cleaners, employees or even to anonymous web users etc..: if you stumble upon even of a dubious (even if it could be of a young 18+ and not a real 14) picture you must report it and if during an investigation comes out that somebody saw such a picture or site and did not report he can be charged with aiding and abetting and rightly so.

BTW, if , as you say in your last post: "I have received spam with those words in the subject a couple of times, along with all the spam for enlarging body parts I don't have. Neither you nor I have actually seen the pictures." please
report the sites you are receiving such a spam from so the relevant authorities can investigate them and you will not incur in the risk to being possibly aiding and abetting criminals.

I don't see how a person like you, so invested in protecting children from any real and perceived ills and from a child-hostile culture , can be so carefree about this and condone even the possibility to be compliciting with children's sexual exploitation. I would expect somebody like you to be up in arms at the first whiff of child porn.. But maybe I am a 44 year old moralistic prude and you are a middle age tolerant and think-the-best-about-anybody-especially-if-a-stepkid lady....

Now, about your last post :

- about your precisation in your next -to-last post on the difference between B&D and S&M: as in numerous threeads on this forum you expressed yourself vehemently agaist plain, vanilla dating for divorced and even widowed parents I was just curious about your open attitude on this particular activities, so I wrote (in my last post) :

"And you are open and knowledgeable to bondage too, as I see from your last post: "I think "Men dressed in leather having sex with women in bondage" is B&D, not S&M, which involves pain": again would be okay for YOUR OWN ADULT CHILDREN to be involved in BONDAGE & DOMINATION as long it is not SADISM & MASOCHISM, involving pain ?

Just let us know with a yes or no please, so we can know where you stand on this ...
Maybe you feel that B&D (but maybe not S&M ?) is okay as long it is not adulterous"

Really, I was just curious and I see that you answered me right on in your last post: "And why would I care if consenting single/married-to-each-other partners were into B&D, just because I have no interest in it?"

So I understood correctly that you are okay with B&D for consenting adults (does this include your adult children ? for them you would approve B&D but not engaging in adultery ? and what about somebody collecting photoes of your adult children engaging in such acts? would it be okay for you once your children are old enough to give their consent ?) but NOT with plain vanilla dating for divorced/widowed parents ?

Just let us know CLEARLY your moral opinion on this, you are always so quick to express yourself on any other matter regarding marriage, families and stepfamilies....

About the second statement of your last post:
"Scaruso and her husband are in a much better position to judge whether the SS was actually committing a crime than either you or I. "

Interesting . If according to you (but not the laws on Minors'Sexual Exploitation) scaruso and her soon to be ex husband are in a much better position than you and me to judge their stepson's porn collection, they are also in a much better position to judge if this young man is mentally ill or not so you had no business in writing in your next to last post (to scaruso) :

"Since your H was adopted, he will probably never know the medical history of his parents, which could be relevant to your stepson's behavior. I know you disagree, but there is such a wide range of mental illnesses and behavioral disorders your stepson could be afflicted with. At a minimum, I am relatively certain he could be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and executive function disorder."

So the "incoherency" you accusing me of in your last angry post (you don't like it when somebody does not back off to your prepotence, isn'it) is all yours.

Again, as in my last "ranting" post, I must ask you : "are you a trained psychiatrist ? are you licensed to diagnose online ?" Yes or not, please.

If not, you are not more qualified than me on discussing this stepson'mental state and anyway, once again scaruso and her soon to be ex husband think he is not mentally ill (as according to you they are the most competent ones).

So if scaruso and her soon to be ex are the most competent in ascertaining if this 26 year old is mentally ill and they think he is not, ALL your previous posts on mental illnesses in convicted offenders, serial killers, collectors of child porn -that according to your second to last post, should not be reported but helped by mental health practictioners- DO NOT APPLY HERE:
if THIS 26 year old guy is not mentally ill, he can find himself a job, if he is collecting child porn (2 or 1000 photoes makes no difference) he should be in jail and not in a mental hospital...

Lastly, i think the majority of posters on this forum see very well that you are ready to embrace any outrageous statement or position just to go against stepparents.

I expect your apologies on the "intentional misquoting" (there was no misquoting, intentional or not) and "ranting" otherwise it will be clear to everybody as you are here in bad faith, just to badger and bully people coming on this forum to look for support and advice, kind and polite people that mostly try to ignore you (as I usually do at least when you are not advocating anything illegal, like not reporting the possible sexual exploitation of minors, or dangerous, like getting 8 year old girls sitting on the front seat)
or even to be gracious and charitable about your bitterness and scorn.

searer,
It's clear that the topic of child porn holds a lot of energy for you. I don't believe theotherside is advocating illegal activities. None of us can know exactly what scaruso found in that box, but at this point it's been thrown out so can no longer be used as evidence regardless.

Take a deep breath, reclaim your anger and outrage for a higher purpose - write your congressman, get involved in your community to raise awareness of child porn, whatever feels right to you.

May you be at peace.
Ann

Annkathryn wrote:
"searer,
It's clear that the topic of child porn holds a lot of energy for you. I don't believe theotherside is advocating illegal activities. None of us can know exactly what scaruso found in that box, but at this point it's been thrown out so can no longer be used as evidence regardless.
Take a deep breath, reclaim your anger and outrage for a higher purpose - write your congressman, get involved in your community to raise awareness of child porn, whatever feels right to you.

May you be at peace. "

I think child porn should elicit in everybody, especially on a stepfamily forum, where we all should be concerned, SM and BM (I am both), about the safety and the wellbeing of children, SK or BK, strong, powerful emotions. At least I hope so.

About TOS, actually just writing that she don't think the parents (or the step parents) of a child porn collector should report him but just looking for mental help for him, IS ADVOCATING AN ILLEGAL ACTION.
Also, as SHE WROTE IN HER LAST POST, she has received some spam labeled or titled with "kiddie porn, naked teenage, naked underage girls etc.." (you get the drift) and she has not reported to the relevant authorities, SO SHE HAS ALREADY COMMITTED A FELONY.

In fact I am giving her the time to do it and to apologize to me and to everybody on this forum before notifying her to the board administrators.

I don't feel the need to write to my congressman because there are already excellent laws against children'sexual exploitation, is people like TOS or unfortunately scaruso's soon to be ex husband who undermine these laws and make investigation and prosecution of children' sexual exploiters more difficult, advocating not to report the offenders or even destroying the evidence before it can be investigated.

About raising awareness in my community about children sexual exploitation, this is what I am trying to do here, in a online community, albeit a small one, exactly as I do in my "real" one, everyday, not moralising but being alert and outspoken about a zero tolerance policy on children sexual exploitation, even in the case the sexual offenders are supposedly mentally ill...

And I am at peace because I am doing my moral and civic duty, while here on this forum we have been tolerating for too long people spouting sentences on every shade of step parents'behaviour and then advocating aiding and abetting an heinous crime, not reporting it to the authorities. It is time to stop allowing this behaviour.

searer,

I have never advocated illegal activities. I believe that your posts to me have crossed the line into harassment, and I am requesting that you cease responding to my posts, and I will cease responding to yours.

otherwise it will be clear to everybody as you are here in bad faith, just to badger and bully people coming on this forum to look for support and advice,

Searer - been clear for months

For what it's worth. I agree with your opinions regarding the pictures I found left behind by SS. I was so shocked that I did not know how to respond. To this day, I am convinced that the girls were probably in 8th grade. Then when my husband threw them out so quickly...well, I had no evidence.
Thanks,
susan