Wow, I always assumed you were a woman, athelete.....Never occured to me you were a man....albeit, a very reasonable one LOL

"Many men don't realize what their wives do around the house."

Can you explain to me how this is possible? How can you not realize that someone does something when it is getting done and you know you aren't the one doing it?

"However, she does this willingly and never complains about cleaning his room and bathroom, doing all his laundry, cooking for him, doing his dishes, washing his car, making sure he pays his cell phone and credit card bills on time, making his dental appointments, etc."

WOW if you can watch your wife do all of this for a 24 year old and keep your mouth shut you are a saint. My 10-year-old ss has to clean his own room and bathroom and he is 10! She truly does bend over backwards for him!!

Ha ha dotz. I also thought athlete was female. I also figured an athlete in the Vancouver winter olympics in 2010. How did I get that idea:^)

What the heck is your wife doing washing your son's car?

I really don't know how it's possible that a man doesn't know what his wife is doing around the house, but that is what a woman implied in another thread based on her personal experience.

I certainly know what my wife is doing. I also work from home so I see more of her day to day activities than anyone.

It was I who said it and in general it is a true statement! HAHAHAHA. For every ten men I know, including my father, who DOESN'T have a cloue there is one who does.

My husband doesn't just have a clue but he carries half the load since we both work. He does laundry, dishes, cooks, tends the kids....the whole nine yards. It is one thing to "have a clue" but another to step up and help out and according to all my female friends/co-workers I am a lucky gal. There husbands/boyfriends are clueless and thankless which is even worse.

My comment was made in the adult child returning home with wife and two toddlers in tow. That man was "excited" to have them move in so obviously....he didn't have a clue. If he was the one who was going to be toting the extra load he wouldn't of been so ecstatic. He would of been the one on a prenting site saying "Oh my god! What do I do?" and not the poor stepmom.

Not all men are clueless but if there was a pole out stating statistics I'm sure more men watch the Superbowl and golf on the weekends rather than do the families laundry.

Hi doodleboo,

I enjoy reading your posts, and I have to give you credit as well for the subject title of this one.

Athlete

Thanks Athlete. Might I add I was also shocked to find you were a fella. I always thought "Why arn't there any guys on here?" and the whole time you were floating around:) Jonathan has considered getting on too just because some of the things I read to him off of this site blows his mind...hahahahaha.

In all fairness my sexuall prejudice doesn't stop at men...I think in the same thread I said all women are catty. HAHAHAHA. And that's true too!!

Oh and I hope you don't enjoy reading my posts because of all the typo's...lol. Jonathan was reading some of my posts and the only thing he said was "babe...you have GOT to start using spell check." HAHAHAHA

I've only been on this site for about six weeks, so I guess I'm kind of new.

I make typos too, and I sometimes don't get them corrected. So, I don't mind seeing other ones. We're all human.

How can you not realize that someone does something when it is getting done and you know you aren't the one doing it?

How can you not realize that someone does something when it is getting done and you know you aren't the one doing it?

I chuckled at that too... But honestly I think that FDH has no clue how much time I spend doing housework. He doesn't really notice clean and dirty, so as a bachelor, he thought once a month is plenty for cleaning the bathroom. I don't think it really occurs to him that our bathroom is sparkly and I keep it that way by cleaning it every week with touch-ups when it needs it.
He notices the big stuff (like a full bathroom cleaning) but the little things just blow right by him. He hasn't got a clue that I do mid-week touchups in the bathroom, or that I lintbrush the cat fur off the couch almost every morning, those sorts of things. He sees me do them once in awhile, and comments on how nice clean it is, but doesn't really realize these little things all add up to a large portion of time.
I'm not complaining that I do these things, because I choose to do them without his help, just noting that he doesn't have a freaking clue ;)
He helps with the big stuff, and we have an I-cook-he-does-dishes deal, but I don't think he realizes how time-consuming the little things are and just how many little things need doing.

Athlete:

I think I get to laugh now because I also thought that you were a woman. Your post are filled with a lot of thought and great insight. I wonder if TOS and KKNY would have had the same dialog with you on Pat's post if they realized that you weren't a SM.
g.

Hi Gerina,

Thanks. As a stepdad, I can have some empathy for stepmoms who are doing their best in what may be a difficult situation.

As a father to my own child, I hopefully can provide some balance to whatever insight I can offer.

I'm new here, so we'll see what happens.

Athlete

I've only been on this site one month longer than you, but I think it's good to have a man's opinion in the mix, especially one who is both BF and SF.

No matter how one slices it, blended families are tough for everyone - hell, intact families can be difficult, but blended are probably harder. Sooner or later everyone takes a turn at being in the middle and it's just almost impossible to keep a Zen state of mind. Since finding this site and reading through many of the archived threads, it's been easier to detatch.

Right now BF is really angry w/one DD -she really did blow it big time and I understand his very valid anger, frustration with her and his worry, but I also think his reaction to her is a little disrespectful (she and adult). Instinctively I want to come to her defense, but I realize it's just best to let them solve this on their own, even if this situation continues to happen as it has for the past year.

Hi Gerina,

I think that you are wise to approach the problem as you have.

Althlete

I do little "experiments" to see if anyone notices... Like they often put empty milk container into the fridge so I mark the date I found it empty and see how long it takes for anyone to notice or I leave a little note under a sock that's been on the floor for a couple of days.."Good for you- you picked up the sock!" If DH says something is missing (yeah-someone broke into our house ignoring the tv and stole your blue raincoat) I asked did you look xyz...he always has looked "everywhere" I ask the kids to count how long until I find it..

I try to have my own little fun with it or it will drive me CRAZY!

LOL Elf! I want to start doing that, but since our family is small (mostly just me and FDH, and sometimes A__ too) it would probably not be as effective as if we had a large family where everyone could say "not me."

For example: It's easy to know who got yogurt on the living room chair, when FDH is still asleep, and I didn't have yogurt with my breakfast... And "No, the cat doesn't have fingers, so she did not get yogurt on the chair"

Hi Elf,

I laughed too when I read your post. My wife doesn't have to do that with me, because I'm good at throwing out used cartons, bottles and cans.

My wife tends to lose more things around the house than me - her purse, keys, etc. I always hang my keys on a hook in our closet so they are in the same place every time.