so far so good

18 years ago

Well Monday my skids went with their grandparents (bm's parents). They picked them up and all went well. DH mentioned the clothes thing (about if they take them shopping the kids could really use winter clothes). Yesterday they stopped by with oldest sd because she needed something extra for practice and she said that they changed her game time Sat. The grandparents said they were still planning on dropping off the kids Friday because they had plans that night, but that they would like to go to the game on Sat.

My other sd mentioned that we were having her family birthday party Sunday (since her real birthday is next Tuesday) so I felt obligated to extend an invitation to the grandparents. They said they may be able to come for a bit since they will be in town until the following day. If they do come it will be a bit awkward for me though. But I will just have to suck it up.

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Comments (6)

kkny
18 years ago
It sounds like the GPs are doing there best to work things out. It cant be an easy situation for anyone. I think that as to Bday party there response to come for a bit is as diplomatic as possilbe (you really cant not come to GC birthday party). godd luck.
fiveinall
18 years ago
That is awsome!! If I remember right (forgive me if I haven't) BM hasn't seen her kids or called in a while....I think it is great that they are making an effort w your SKs!
Maybe it would help if they do come to the party to remember that just cause BM is a bad apple doesn't mean her parents are...it will also give them a chance to see how great a family you guys are together and this may sound bad but might be helpful if you ever had to go back to court one day....
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imamommy
18 years ago
I agree with fiveinall, the grandparents are independent of their daughter. In fact, I think you've mentioned that they get on BM's case over not seeing her kids. Do they make excuses for her and talk like she's mother of the year? I'm sure on some level, they are embarrassed that she doesn't have her kids and isn't the kind of mother they might have hoped she would be.

If you can think of them as Bob and Mary and not 'BM's parents', things might go smoother and would definitely be better for the kids to know that you guys get along with their grandparents. They might be feeling like they have to 'suck it up' too... like KKNY said, they can't not come to their G-kids birthday party.
mom2emall
Original Author
18 years ago
Ya, I guess the grandparents will probably feel a little awkward too. Seeing your grandkids call someone besides your daughter mom and doing all the mom stuff with them must be a wierd feeling. But I feel like they will be comparing everything I do and say to their daughter. But I do know that hands down I am better to the kids than she is anyways.

My dh says that at least that the grandparents can see that we do take good care of the kids well and have a nice,clean home. And they can see how happy the kids are.

And I had not thought of how fiveinall mentioned that it looks good if we ever end up in court with her. If she tries to play the "poor me-nobody lets me see/talk to my kids" routine we can say we would have if she made attempts--we even let the grandparents be part of anything they could be.
mom2emall
Original Author
18 years ago
Well the grandparents dropped of my skids this morning. They took them shopping and got them all some nice school clothes, socks, underwear, bras, etc. They had to have spent a few hundred dollars because they got each of them about a weeks worth of outfits! We are very greatful!

The grandparents said they will for sure be at the game tomorrow but are not sure yet about the birthday party.

I wish I knew if they were coming for sure so I could relax! And my dh came home last night and told me that his work is giving them mandatory overtime this weekend!! Of all fricken weekends to give mandatory overtime. That means that he will definatly miss sd's game Saturday and may miss the party Sunday! That will make it so much more awkward for me. And how wierd is it going to look that my dh can not make either event. Though I guess they can't say much since their daughter does not even see her kids!
mom2emall
Original Author
18 years ago
Yesterday we went to the game. The time got changed so my dh was able to go there with us and just leave during the end of the game to go to work. The grandparents sat with us the whole time and were nice. All the kids were excited they came! Granparents said they are coming to the party today for a while. Wish me luck!! Have to get back to my cooking and cleaning!