Oh wow. I am really sorry to hear about all you're going through.

I think your boyfriend is treating you, and your DD, very poorly.

How long have you been living in this new town? How big is the town?

If it were me, and it were a small-ish town, I think I would get OUT of there and move back where you are originally from--particualrly if that is a bigger city where you think you're more likely to find employment.

I would NOT want to stay with him for the next 3 months OR even 4 weeks, as I think, if the relationship is truly over, that will just make things harder on EVERYONE--especially your DD and SS.

Honestly--my opinion is--if this is HIS decision, then HE should be the one to leave the house. BUT--I am assuming that since you don't have a job as of yet, affording the house on your own right now wouldn't be an option.

Out of all the options you suggested, I think I would take your father's offer of help, and do that. At least you will be with a support system. You seem like a loving and responsible parent/person who wants to do the right thing and wants to gain your independence back as soon as possible. You will--just take it one step at a time.

Again, I am really sorry this has happened.

sorry, it is never fun to end a realtionship...but it is always for the best. you will be fine. i suggest you get out of that town and go stay with your family until you find job and rent your own place. just take the help that your family offers and move on. things happen. but i do feel very sorry, especially for the children.

Amy I am so sorry about this. But I think any guy who would push you out the door with a child is a loser, and you are better off finding this out while your parents are alive and able to help. Also, I agree with FD, I would move back in with Dad, but I would also be reconnecting with your childs dad, and starting CS and visitation.

I am sorry to hear about your situation! Just keep your head up and know that you were doing great before this guy and you will do great after him! Go back to your dads with your dd. Don't stay in this new town close to your exboyfriend.

I am sure you will get on your feet soon and this will all be a distant memory.

As for staying in contact with ex and his family, I would discourage it. I think it will just keep wounds open and eventually when one of you moves on and dates someone else the relationship with his family will not work out.

Thank you so much for the advice. I guess in a way I am holding on to false hopes. As of now the children have no clue...

amyjade,

I am so sorry you are going through this. Having an untenable living situation during a breakup is something no one ever wants to go through. It is very cruel that he is jerking you around and basically "kicking you out". I agree with the above posters who said to leave as soon as you can - don't depend on him for anything. Depend on yourself and use your resources and your support network to move on. And remember maybe the most important thing - you are demonstrating to your young daughter how to be a strong, self-sufficient woman who does not settle for being treated like dirt at the whims of men. Best of luck to you - you will come out of this much better off.

How sad. This is proof that a family doesn't have to be a MARRIED family for the adults AND children involved to be horribly hurt by a split. I am so sorry for you and both children.

I think you should move back with your father. Try your best to keep your daughter with you since she will already be going through a major seperation. Staying with you will lessin her anxiety. Make a plan of attack and stick to it. As long as you have a gameplan that you can look at it will help you take things one at a time and keep you from being totally overwhelmed.

I wouldn't keep contact with the Ex. I know you really want to keep up relations with son and for your daughter to keep contact with your ex but he IS your ex and in not your daughters father. As soon as he gets a new girlfriend the visits will be cutt off anyway and it will only pro long your healing process.

Good luck to you all.

doodleboo it definitelly hurts just as much and both adults and children are as hurt but if they would be married he would not able to say "get out in 4 weeks." it gives too much freedom to a guy to not even let his ex to stay until she can find a new place or job. he feels free to treat a woman and a child like they have no rights. easier way out.

doddleboo posted in a wrong thread. I took a liberty to copy it here. :)

Finedreams-
Very good point. The only difference between a marriage ending and a long term relationship ending is if you were married you would have some rights. The emotional heartache and seperation anxiety is there...just without any kindof a safety net:(

What a jerk to drag her to another town and boot her and her child on the street. I am throwing perverbial darts at the man as I type.

Again, Good luck Molly. Chin up and push forward. You can do it.

I don't know what to tell you except, learn from this and 'never move in with anyone again'. I would never be in the situation to be evicted, it must be horrible. I saw my step daughter go through a half dozen "evicted" situations. Marriage protects you from this kind of thing. When I became engaged I stayed in my house and he stayed in his until we married. He even carried me over the threshold.

Call a lawyer today. You are his dependant and he has an obligation to support you and your child. You may not be married - but you do have rights. I realize that you're in pain - but believe me this situation may be worse than you think. You will regret it if you let yourself and your child be cheated. I'm sure that this man benefitted greatly from having you at home and he can't just take that benefit and throw you away.

Get your parents involved as well to give you some support right now. You need all the strength that you can get.

Thanks Finedreams:)

That's what happens when your posting sneakidly at work...lol.

Thank you so much for the overwhelming response! I know most of the responses want me to go to my father's home. However I failed to tell you i have really never lived with him before, due to his drinking problem..I was lived with my grandmother when I was young. I really do not want my daughter around partying and being woken up. I have to do this on my own. and get a job while I am still with Ex. I am using every resource and strength i have to get a new job. I've got all sorts of books to empower me and just look at things in a positive way. so, for now I am going to try to get a job here and have my daughter go to this school. so, at least she won't go through that drastic of a change. I am going to have to break it to her this weekend. I guess I am going to say that we are not going to be together anymore because we fight too much.I know she is going to be confused, because she does not see us fight... I don't know what else to say.... well, i am giving myself two weeks to get a job or i will go with option 2 and go back down with my father. I loathed living in that town, overpopulated, bad bad schools and crime. It was my choice to move to this town. so, we will see either way we will be ok, we will be better.