Im new here, Please bear with me.

Im divorced, have a boyfriend of 2 years. My ex has a girlfriend as well. He has probably been with her a year, maybe more. My ex and I have a son who is 5 with special needs.

My ex and his girlfriend seem to have a rocky relationship. A few months back he told me he was thinking about breaking it off with her because she couldnt accept our son and didnt want him around her daughter. Also during that time she called me wanting to talk about issues with my son, which I welcomed. But my ex husband got very upset told her not to talk to me because he is his dad and can answer any questions she has and since then, she hasnt.

The problem came about yesterday at the hospital when my son was going to have an operation. My ex and I were there with our significant others. This is not unusual, however, normally they stay in the waiting room while my ex and I are talking to the doctors etc... But this time, right in the middle of the doctor talking to us about the proceedure his girlfriend opens the door and walks right in. This upset me greatly. I waited until the doctor left for a few minutes and asked her to leave. We had a few words back and forth and my ex asked her to leave and not cause a scene. She stated to him that he told her she could come in. Im not really sure if she should even be there, however if she wanted to be there I would have expected him to discuss it with me prior to this. In the past my ex husband doesnt want my boyfriend involved in anything with our son and I never even thought once about having him present while a doctor was discussing our son with us, mostly to respect his wishes as the dad.

A few minutes later I went to the waiting room to speak with his girlfriend and appologized if I came off a bit strong and explained how I felt. I explained to her that I want her to be involved in our sons life and If she is that concerned Im very grateful. I said that I think I should have been told first and if she is going to be there then so should my boyfried.

Im not sure what is right. Its not like any of us have been married for years and are a true step parent yet. My boyfriend has a little girl who I love dearly and I would never expect to be in the room with my boyfriend and his ex wife while a doctor was in there. I believe hospital policy would be only 2 people in the room at one time so I could have her removed. I also believe that during something like that she should not be present because we are discussing private information about our families health etc... I feel very foolish having to go thru this, deep down I dont think she should be involved anymore then being in the waiting room and then seeing him in the recovery room. Same goes for my boyfriend. Then we can discuss with them what the doctor has said. But if I cant stop this from happening, I would want my boyfriend present as well. 4 people and a doctor in one of those little rooms seems a bit much, don't you think? I doubt the hospital would support it regaurdless.

Sorry if this is long. I will appreciate anyones views.