I had a similar problem with my DD at about the fourish age.. she still has bouts every now and again but for the most part she seems to have grown out of it. And, this was absolutely not a result of divorce poisoning since her bd is no longer alive and hasnt been since she was two...but anyways I will have to Completely disagree with Kathline on this one... perhaps my dd is just a handful but she was fully capable of coming to me to tell me something happened or S said this or that that never happened...(and I did get suspiscous and start to investigate just in case but when she started lieing about conversations that I had overheard... I knew what was up) She also would do the crying for no reason and would be up my rear as soon as I would get home from work. I would come home and my DH would be in the room talking to her about something and everything would be fine until she saw me and then the water works. My DH was very upset by all of this and for a moment started to pull away from her. The only way that things changed was when I looked at how I reacted to it. Everytime she would cry I would ask what's wrong and try to get her to tell me why she was crying (attention!!) and when she would tell me things about DH I would go and ask him what really happened and then go back to her (attention!!) When I stopped playing into it ... she stopped. I know most of it had to do with her now sharing her mom with five other people and I am a fairly laid back person.. I grew up as the oldest of four in a cramped house that usually had all kinds of extra folks...like my cuz who lived with us on and off... so I am used to loud crazy atmospheres with lots of jokes lots of insults lots of everyone talking on top of everyone else... but my husband is not... he cant take the loud noise and he insists on no mam and no sir or vice versa.. so she was adjusting to having another adult in the house that did play like mom does and then on top of that she was not the "golden child" anymore (she was the only grandchild niece great grand etc etc) she had to share with three other kids... But, I started ignoring the crying when I would come home... I would just pop in to say are you hurt? oh well then cant be that bad get done whatever DH asked you to do... and when she would tell me something that wasnt true I would ask Dh infront of her if that was true ... and she would get punished accordingly usually go sit on your bed for x amount of time and then we will talk about again later (because ofcourse by that time the water works started).. It took awhile for her to realize that I wont play her game anymore and she is doing much better these days... But, not to say this is the case with your daughter because there is some divorce poison going on but even without it that can happen... I think the best thing to do is to change how you and your DH react to it and I think that mom2emall had a few good suggestions.

You're not a wife, or even a stepmother, but a live-in maid and sex slave. No one deserves to be treated like that and to me the miracle is that you've put up with it for so long. As has been said- get your affairs in order, and leave. Take with you info on bank accounts, insurance policies etc to assist with division of property in the divorce. Then find someone who will cherish you as it should be in a marriage. Your husband may be a preacher and attend a church, but if that is the way he behaves he is no Christian in my opinion and is a very poor role model for other Christians.

I don't think it's a choice that should be made jointly. Children are entitled to be supported by both parents. If the ex is entitled to support (spousal, not child) then she should get it. If the terms of support are not indefinite, then it will eventually end. Some orders will continue forever until she dies or remarries. Whatever. But, if you rely on child support to live off, then 1) your child is suffering because child support is calculated with the assumption that both parents are going to contribute something. 2) Child support eventually ends when the child is emancipated.. apparently it's different in various states, but it DOES end (unless the child is incapacitated and it's ordered beyond the age of majority) When it ends, unless you have spousal support or some other source of income, you are pretty much stuck with no way to provide for yourself. It would suck to be in your 40's and looking for your first job. (My SD's mom is 35 now. Her older daughter will be 18 in 5 years and the child support she gets will end. Then what? She's never worked more than two months at a minimum wage job in her life.) Child support should not be adjusted so the CP can stay home. If she gets enough alimony to stay home, that's fine I guess. I still think she should work, even part time to contribute to the support of the child, especially if the child is in school. Younger kids that require daycare, it might be a wash and then it's better to have mom at home. when you have a child, you are supposed to contribute to the support of your child. If dad's GF sits around, she's only getting older and less employable. If she had a kid (by him or anyone else), I'd say she has no right to sit around doing nothing, she needs to contribute to her child's expenses just as much as the father. But, as long as dad is paying his obligations to you, what he chooses to do (by letting GF do nothing) is his business. I think he's a fool for supporting a bimbo and I think she's a fool for not doing anything with her life, but it's their choice, not anyone else's.

A parenting after divorce class is mandatory in Louisiana before a divorce can be granted. Louisiana also automatically grants joint custody unless one party can convince the judge that it really would be bad for the children. As an interesting fact, Since Louisiana mandated joint physical and legal custody as the default option, the divorce rate in Louisiana has dropped to one of the lowest in the United states. My ex and I were divorced in ONtario, Canada. There was no parenting class requirement there. I did not take one. He did. It didnt help him, as he still made every mistake in the book for the first few years because he was so angry. I did, however, find a good Christian psychologist, and took the entire family into family therapy, that lasted for over three years before we finally felt good enough to stop. When I got serious about my current husband, he joined in several family therapy sessions. All the kids, and both of us attended them, and believe me, no punches were pulled. IN fact, we still go twice a year for a family therapy checkup, only now its done by telephone conference since our therapist is back in ONtario. Therapy made a huge huge difference for us. I am a big believer in a professional psychologist who specializes in marriage and family counselling. I think they take the scary out of a new lifestyle for eveyrone and they help family members to understand the reasons behind the actions of the others. NO one should have to adjust to single parenthood/blended familyhood, alone. Therapy, or possibly a parenting class can be huge help in the adjustment as long as everyone feels safe enough to say what they really think, and is willing to examine their role in the way things are.