"How did you determine how much you can afford to build / how much you need / etc.? We started with discussions on desired lifestyle and goals for house. What activities did we need to plan for? What sort of space would they need, and could it be shared? You need to have these discussions before you start drawing up floor plans. Many of the construction details and materials are driven by the desire to use minimal energy for heating and cooling, to have low ongoing maintenance, and to minimize water usage. Did you say, "We can build this many square feet", or "We can spend this much money"? We have an upper limit, based on wanting to fund the building out of the sale of the current house ... square feet is determined by life style. And we're not into McMansions, we're into efficiency. One goal is to get it into as small a footprint as possible. Did this change much as you built and your budget dwindled? We've identified places where costs can be cut, and what can't be cut. We could do some DIY, and leave some things unfinished, use less expensive finish materials. Did you start with your wants and downgrade as necessary, or did you start with the budget and determine what you could have for that money? After the "how do we want to live in a house" discussions, we started with the dimensions of and the desired view from a California king bed ... seriously that was what has driven about half of the floor plan. The plan was radically revised a couple of times as the possible lot to build on changed ... you HAVE TO take the site into consideration. To get the view, the bed has to be placed against an inner wall on the second floor, facing a large, low window or a door, aimed in a certain direction. To the bed's dimensions we added clearance for access (in a walker or wheelchair - we're geezers) and the desired bookshelves and small wardrobe. Bed placement determines door placement ... which controlled bathroom placement, which controlled ... you see where this goes. To get to the second floor bedroom, we needed stairs ... and the SO's size 14 shoes controlled the tread depth, and the building codes controlled the riser height. That in turn controlled the height of the main entry. Kitchen size was determined by appliance sizes, workspaces, need for certain size walkway, etc. We will have a large pantry because it's a small town. Need to buy in bulk and have a place to store it. It's mostly been lifestyle, activity and traffic pattern driven after that. The need to "age in place" meant that one bedroom and full accessible bath had to be downstairs. ============ Some of the things we are doing to keep cost down: * Square floor plan with almost no hallways (American Four Square influenced) * Kitchen designed to use "standard" appliances - niche for frig instead of counter-depth, etc. * Straight run counters (galley kitchen) and simple layout, simple cabinet design, probably local cabinetmaker. * Standardizing bath fixtures and finishes (you get a better deal on the tile, and the contractor doesn't go nuts remembering what goes where) ============= I could easily increase the cost of the house by 50% by using the fancy stuff: designer tiles, "pro" appliances, ornate trim, and expensive lighting fixtures. I'd rather spend the money on books, art, and travel. =========== What about resale value? Screw resale value. That's the heirs' problem :)

Hi, Nbee - I think you should just give it some time. Think of the changes in his life; he's only 3, and his world has been disrupted. You didn't say how long your boyfriend has been divorced, but this little guy has experienced Dad leaving, going back and forth from Mom's to Dad's and vice-versa, and having a new person living at Dad's house. Did you spend time letting the kids get to know you and accept you before you moved in? 5 months is short (IMO) to move in with someone and expect little ones to "get it" and accept you. Fortunately the 5 year old does; I hope that continues. It's great that you care and are trying to form a relationship with the 3 year old, but don't force it. Remember, too, that you're only 5 months into this relationship with your boyfriend (don't know how long you've lived with him). Think of the additional upheaval on the kids should your relationship go bad and you move out. If they come to love you, that'll be yet another loss for them. I wish you the best. Just go easy, understand his life, and give him time. Suzieque

For some perspective, here's a crude sketch of the floor plan. The dot and arrow show where the picture was taken. The sketch shows a different position for the fridge and a counter, but dimensionally the "wall of stuff" is accurate. The whole open floor plan shown is something like 750 square feet.

Find your local MLS site. For some reason, trulia/zillow don't index every single house/lot in my area, and this might be true for your area too. Also, talk to a local real estate agent who specializes in lots/land -- they will know about land that's currently listed, but (more importantly) land that has been listed in the past but was pulled off the market and might still be available if you know who to ask. This happened with our lot -- it was pulled off the MLS at one point, but I had already been eyeing it and our real estate agent personally knew the owner (another real estate agent) and was able to get the inside scoop. If you're in a rural area, you might also communicate with local land owners who own large tracts of land to see if they're willing to sell a small portion -- my brother in law asked a few local farmers about buying corners of their land. He ended up not building, but he did find a few options that way. If there is a particular lot you're interested in, you could try to contact the current owner. It's possible they bought the lot with plans to build, but those plans have been set aside for some reason, and they may be willing to part with the land. I'm sure there are a dozen other ways to find land, these are just the few that come to mind!