I too, have a "jane" in the family. Several aactually. Just know that whatever you decide, she will probably feel negatively about it. She sounds kinda jealous. If you bring all the gifts at once, she will talk about how you spend too much and are just trying to show off. If you only bring one small one, she will probably say that you should have gotten her something bigger since apparently she thinks your rolling in dough. (whether you are or not is really irrelevant) In my case, i am the youngest of six adult children(ill be 30 in a few months). I am the only one who is unmarried, and have no children(unless you count the four legged furry kind) :) No matter WHAT i do, my older siblings always feel it necessary to comment on how i waste my money, im not good with money, i have no budget, im irresponsible with money, etc. None of which is true. I make a good enough living to support myself and have a little extra for fun and savings. I live very much below my means, although comfortable. I drive the same car i bought (all by myself thank you very much) at age 18. However, some people are just naturally negative nancys. I learned a long time ago to do whatwever the heck i want, especially when it comes to my hard earned cash. You should do the same. P.S. I am sure that the soon to be mommy will very much appreciate everything you got for her. Baby showers are not thrown to celebrate a pregnancy, not really anyway.If they were, they would not require gifts would they? They are to help new parents with some of the things they need for baby.I would put everything in one giant box and wrap it, therefore making it "one" gift. Your "michelle" is the only one you should think about now. Jane's opinions should be kept to herself or ignored.

Quote"Are you saying that the rough-in plumbing takes a day, underslab piping takes a day, and trim out takes a day? My bids for plumbing are in the $15,000-$20,000 range. That's a pretty hefty daily rate! " The main water line & house sewer line from the street to the structure plus the interior DWV & water distribution piping under slab are the "rough-in", and yes, the guys are alloted one day to finish that. After the house is dried in and interior walls framed they will return and do the "Stack-out" phase, which is the water lines & DWV lines which will be inside the walls, and here again, the crew is alloted one day to complete that. And when there is to be ABS or Fiberglass tub or showere enclosures they are also installed during the stackout. After the bathroom floors & walls are finished and the kitchen cabinets are in we return a third time to do the "Trim out", which is where we set the sinks, waterclosets and all final valves or trim, and this too is to be done in one day, And those schedules are the same whether its a remodel job or a whole house. So what you see is three days work, but don't think for one monent that all you get for your $20k is 3days. As soon as I get your prints & site plan I have to go to the municipal water & sewer providers to find out exactly where they will be installing the water & sewer taps, then I have to work out the entire water distribution and DWV layout for your job. That generally takes the better part of a day, then I have to go back over the prints and do a complete material workup, right down to the last pipe hanger, roll of solder and gas for the soldering torches, flux, pipe cleaner, glue etc. After I have the material list I have to contact my suppliers to get a confirmed price, so there is another day. I then have to order the material and as it is delivered to the shop we have to package and stage it for your job, so I have the overhead cost of that storage area plus the labor to handle it in the staging area. Now let us consider the cost of the crew. In addition to their wages, there is $600yr per man for drug tests, $4k per man for tuition for the apprenticeship training course at the local college, $90 per copy for the code books and every employee must have one, then there is workmans comp insurance, vacation time & paid holidays and individual safety equipment such as OSHA approved respirators (one for each man), hard hats, hearing protectors, gloves etc. Then we have 1ton 4x4 crew cab pickups with jobbers boxes for $65k each, a one ton dump with heavy equip. trailer $70K + $6K, a backhoe $95k, bobcat $90K mini-trackhoe $75k, ditch-witch trencher $120k and specialty tools such as the Rigid cordless PEX crimper for a mere $1600, oxy-acetylene tote weld torch $350, for brazing copper under slab, Then we have a small truck load of hand tools or cordless and cord type power tools that are supplied by the company plus a large portable generator and lights incase we have to work late into the night or we happen to be on a site where they don't have temporary power setup yet. Add to that the cost of the office & shop, secretary, bean counter, warehouseman, equipment maintenance and fuel, not to mention another $5k a year in licensing fees. Now don't get me wrong, I am not crying in the least, but if the final analysis out of your $20k if I get $300 for my pocket its a good day.

Thank you everyone again for your thoughtful comments. Many comments gave me some perspectives I had not considered. As far as my SIL's visits, they are not an issue for me. At least not an issue, that I am willing to alienate her over. There would be no way to limit her visits without her being hurt beyond belief. (If she had stayed mad at me for losing my temper, I was willing to let the relationship go, rather than grovel, but since she apologized, all is okay as far as I am concerned). I don't think we are enabling her as she is who she is. If we changed our response to her, it would just hurt her--it wouldn't make her suddenly realize that she is the one with the problem. My motto as far as many things in life is to never fight a losing battle--its just a waste of energy. If I can't change someone or something, then I find a way to change me so that I can be happy with it. I only have control over myself and my reactions. We have a very open door policy as far as guests, and we often have overnight guests. BIL stays with us at least once a month for a few days as he has clients in our area. When he first moved to USA, he stayed with us for several months. As mentioned, SIL is here regularly. My sisters and family often stay in the summer as we have a pool and are close to the beach. And on a weekly basis, I host a playdate with sometimes as many as 15 kids and moms. SIL can be a PITA, but most of the time (minus times where cake is involved LOL) I can tolerate her just fine---although after the cake debacle, my tolerance for her is lower. She does make some very rude comments about our house and the guest room, but my husband just tells her that if she doesn't like it, to go stay with their parents, and that normally shuts her up. I just go about my normal life even when she is here--that is why it never occurred to me to specifically plan my daughter's party when she is not here. She has been here numerous times for my older daughter's party as well, as it falls around MLK Day, so she makes the trip up as her daughter is out of school. Anyway, now that you all know more than you ever wanted about my relationship with my SIL, I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Long time apartment dweller here. This is generally something tenants work out amongst themselves - I always request people take my wet stuff out of washer and put it in my laundry basket if Im not around to dry it. I do NOT want it in the dryer because so many things of mine are line dried and would shrink. If Im not around my neighbor has no way of knowing when Ill be back - at times I forget and dont come back for days! That said, its pretty dang rude for that neighbor to hog both machines for an entire half a day and not let you back in the queue to dry your wet stuff. 1 washer and dryer for 6 units is awfully skimpy - is there room for an additional set? If so Id ask the landlord