You are all more than welcome. You are appreciated as well. Thank you to Debbie for organizing the details of the food. You did a great job and there was a wonderful variety of food. I don't think I have ever seen a cake as large as the carrot cake go so quickly!!! There were too few slips of the recipe for the rice salad and Kathlin did not get one. Can the person who brought that please send me the recipe? And finally, thanks to all the people who helped set up, carry stuff to and from autos, and clean up at the end. Can't wait til Spring. Linda Gail

From the original post, this is what I said.... "If anyone has experience dealing with someone like that, even if there is no advice, I would like to know that we're not alone" There is a specific topic to this thread and while you and your counterpart would like to take it off on a tangent about me talking to the other mom or whatever else your opinions are, if you can stick to the topic.. perhaps your opinion would be appreciated. All you have to offer is how you'd feel getting a call from whoever.. blah blah blah... but nothing you've said of any use to me. The purpose of posting here is for advice, you offer none. support, you offer none. opinion, you offer something irrelevant to the original post. You are entitled to think what you like, what is creepy or not. I'm entitled to think you are creepy. Sorry if it's rude for me to tell you I don't value your opinion. I don't necessarily agree with Kathline's opinion but she did offer input on the original post, not take it off on a tangent, like you were. I can at least respect that. I personally think you are rude to be so condescending and hypocritical all the time without offering anything of value. I'll admit, it's sometimes good for my daily laugh, but hardly taken seriously. If you want to discuss SM's talking to their DH's ex's new partner's ex, then start a thread about it. That's not what this thread is about, nor is that what I want to get advice about. If I wanted advice about that, I would have asked. (by the way, there was another thread where I did ask for input on that very subject. If you want, you can find it and revive it) but this thread is about a child that is being ignored by her mom not calling and canceling visits while the mom is coaching her BF's kids teams.... It's also about the possibility of dealing with a mom that has munchausen's, which I think is much more serious than whether I have coffee or talk to her BF's exW. Those are the facts.

Well Kathline, when you say "things people have complained about on here" and mention the 'ice cream for breakfast' which was clearly something I complained about, I'm not just taking a vague comment personal, unless there were others here that complained about ice cream for breakfast. and of course when you put it the way you did,(like that was the issue), I wanted to make it clear that it was not the issue. It's not hard to decipher that the reason she was throwing up when she told us she ate as much as she wanted (we asked if mom put it in a bowl and she said said mom was still in bed and she ate from the carton with a spoon. She told us that she felt sick the rest of the day and wouldn't eat any dinner. She had also made herself a tuna sandwich without draining the tuna. She said she only ate a few bites because it made her feel more sick. When she threw up, it looked like melted chocolate ice cream. Yes, I can say stomach flu. I've had it and so has she. It wasn't stomach flu. Nobody sent BM any nasty emails. DH sent her an email asking her what was going on because SD told him 'her side' and he wanted to get BM's side. She blew up and told him it's none of his business what she does in her house. Normally, we both agree with that. He doesn't call/email her when she lets SD stay up all night playing video games or watching movies. He doesn't call/email her when BM lets her watch R rated movies, He doesn't call/email her when she feeds her whatever she wants. He doesn't call/email her when SD doesn't take a shower/bath or brush her teeth all weekend because it won't kill her to miss a day or two. He has emailed her over issues he felt were serious enough... 1. She let her BF's kids sleep on the bed with her daughter the very first time they were all in the same house. 2. She was telling her daughter that she was moving over to her house after Christmas and the daughter was telling everyone at her school she was moving when she wasn't. BM hadn't even discussed it with him. 3. DH let her know (after letting it go twice) that she can't keep picking up their daughter early from school for no reason other than she wants to. 4. and he told her that SD got sick from the ice cream and suggested that SD should be supervised in the kitchen so she won't get sick. (Besides the fact that SD has issues with food) and yes, BM complained that I gave her daughter peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in her school lunch and oatmeal for breakfast. She said I was being abusive. Nobody has ever told BM she was being abusive in any way. We may think it's inappropriate and borders on neglect but that wasn't said to her. In fact, what I did say to her when she accused me of abusing her daughter is that a concerned mother that thought her child was being abused for 'weeks' like she said, would have called CPS or the authorities and not wait until my husband tells her she can't pick up her daughter from school early to start making those sort of accusations. I guess if you want to say that telling her that is being nasty, then I guess I'm guilty. I used the CPS word and that's the context in which I used it, I didn't threaten to call CPS on her, I told her she should call on me if she thinks I'm abusing her child. (my husband did tell her one time that if she isn't going to respond to any of his concerns, he'd have it investigated to make sure his daughter is safe) Oh yeah, and my husband did email her about SD saying she rode on the cardboard tied to the back of BM's truck and about discussing the child support issue with their daughter. Nobody can change someone else and I don't think I have ever thought I could. However, I do believe in debating one's point and through explaining philosophies or reasoning, it can change other's points of view. My point of view has been changed on some issues from what others have posted here, where a point was brought up that I may not have thought about before. Isn't that what a forum like this is for? Isn't this forum here to vent? Get advice? Share? I believe in the beginning, I wrote this is more of a vent, as I know that nobody can stop BM from what she says. and you are entitled to your opinion that I am WAY too involved in what goes on at BM's house. The fact is, I'm more concerned about what goes on at MY house. I'm WAY more concerned about how my SD feels about the whole situation and her difficulty in dealing with it. When BM cancels a weekend to go coach her BF's kid's baseball team, or when she says she can't pick her up from school like she's supposed to and wants to pick her up at our house, and then comes later than she says, it affects me because we usually make plans ahead of time and now we are left to 1. explain to SD that her mom can't make it or is going to be late, which always is met with crying and her being upset. BM won't do her own dirty work. She just doesn't show up and we are left to explain. 2. if we have plans, we have to change them to include SD and occasionally, it's a problem. Especially if we have tickets or reservations somewhere. She's ruined our plans many times and upset/disappointed her daughter more times than I can count. I don't take everything as a criticism that I respond to and I don't think I get defensive. Perhaps it sounds that way or can be interpreted that way, but I don't think I have anything to be defensive about. I may have an opinion or if I feel something I said is taken out of context, I will try to explain my position better. As for my dealings with BM, I don't deal with her, my husband does. I didn't have a child with her, he did.

We don't censor ourselves for either X, but we aren't really big on the PDA. Lets say X and I are already at DS's baseball game and FDH walks up.....FDH will give me a peck on the lips and say "hello". X's GF will do the same thing to X. But BM and SF.......they don't EVER act affectionate. They don't even laugh or smile at eachother when the other shows up. I kind of feel sad for them (especially him). The way they are so apathetic makes me think they aren't happy together. I grew up in a home where everyone loved eachother, but showed a moderate amount of affection. I think my parents show more PDA now than they ever have. But like I have said before, I want my kid(s) (including step) to see what a loving relationship is like. And I think minimal PDA is okay for that. Now, I would never go doing what happened in OP's situation. That's just gross. And besides I think it causes resentment from the kids. But I will hold hands or smile or give a peck on the cheek. I'm not going to stop that just because she (BM) didn't feel the same way I do about him.