what does your custody order state

20 years ago

this is a very hard day for me..my eldest is living at his dads for a year because his dad told him to constantly tell us off and therefore wouldn't live by our rules..then at christmas my ex refused to return our middle child who had just turned 12. We went through an assessment where all kinds of people say he talks malicious, wants to fight, the youngest claims he is scared of him, all the boys state they want him to quit fighting but at the end the assessor says his home his fine and the boys want to live there! I am not going to drag my boys (one still lives with me-he is 8-though I know his father will drag him over at age 12 too-he is very intimidating but offers no rules so teens love it). So now they are waiting to hear what I want to do. I give up. My kids honor role has gone down the tubes, my eldest is on the net at 1am on school nights, they watch porn...but none of that matters..so I am trying to let that go....anyway, long story short..my lawyer wants direction as to what to do next..what do your court orders say? like biweekly access, one day during the week, alternating holidays...that kind of stuff..I don't want to forget anything..my ex paid me support since 2001 based on a certain made up income and 2 has refused to submit his actual income..which I know is at least double...he has not paid any extracurricular costs since 2001 as well..I am going to ask my lawyer as well if I get any costs back...not that it is of huge importance..I just want everything to be done all at once...AND he has two boys, me one and two stepdaughters...do the courts recognize that we have two sd when paying support too or will I just pay the difference cause he has two and I have one?

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organic_maria
20 years ago
Hi callmerae,

The basics that i know, is for one, your husband must submit his recent salary along with his last year taxes and you have to submit as well to calculate support. Access to kids is up to you. My husband has his kids every second weekend. Plus alternating New Years holiday. Christmas holidays and school spring break is shared between him and his ex. Any extracurricular activities (ie, baseball enrollement, or skiiing ) is a shared expense between both parents.
The court will not recognize your two stepdaughters for payment on his part. BUT should take it into consideration on your income and what come out of your pocket for these girls. You must show the court the amount coming into your household and how much you spend.
The catchy thing that i see, is....that your husband has two of his kids and you have one. Which means, you may have to pay him for the one extra child he has. BUT it will be based on your salary and disposable income. So if, you have mortgage , car payments etc. and don't have much to give then it will be and should be minimal payments. As well..they have to take his income into consideration. If it is very high...then you wont pay much.
As well. since he has not paid for any extracurricular costs since 2001 you must produce proof as to what you have paid since then for your kids and demand half of that money. THey are his kids too.
I hope this helps. As well. I'm from canada. Those are the basic rules. BUT each state in the states differ. Your lawyer should know the details for this. And see. What did your original divorce papers decree? Does your ex have to pay you until your kids are 18 or until they finish school??? That's another thing you may want to work out for your future. So you dont get stuck paying.
p.s proving porn etcetc..is hard to prove. And if your kids want to live with their father , there is really nothign you can do unless you can prove that he is unfit to parent and that he is violent. Guard your youngest as best as you can. If he is afraid, when he turns 12 he can refuse COMPLETELY TO SEE HIS FATHER. And you can deny access as well during this time. Ask your son in four years his thoughts. If he says he doesn't want to see his dad, then dont' send him.
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what does your custody order state

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organic_maria

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