"When speaking in a forum it is hard to state every single detail"

But it is reasonable to expect the poster to include SOME RELEVANT DETAILS. You took the time to describe at some length who was not talking to whom, but you didn't have time to mention that your SD was assaulting your children? How can you expect anyone to be "supportive" when you are withholding all relevant information?

What if a someone posted here, "I just left my wife who is 8 months pregnant." He probably wouldn't get much support. Then, two or three posts later, he complained about how people on the board had not been sufficiently supportive, and, by the way, "I forgot to mention that she was pointing a gun at my head at the time."

Look..I just didn't want to bash her anymore then I already felt I had...and I did state in a post that she had physically and mentally abused the other children. I just didn't go into detail. I won't apologize for anything. Have you ever been in a situation even simialiar to this one or are you just looking for someone to bash today? Haven't you ever heard if you don't have anything nice to say to just keep your mouth shut...instead of assuming I was the bad guy here why didn't you ask for me detail? There is always a different way things could have been handled maybe instead of spouting off how horrible I was for not giving every detail of my home life you could of asked.

Are you done now? Because I am.

Shame on you TOS. You are so wicked.

Anyone who posts for any period of time knows that you are only "supportive" of the evil SM theory ...

Its not one incident that puts people over the edge its repeated abuse ... if her SD's parents don't want to deal with her why she should she.

Have you ever tried to make someone do something they don't want to do?? you can convince them otherwise but if they don't want to do it they won't.

There are some posters on this board that can't empathize or relate to any of the issues that step families have. That's because they are NOT IN A STEP-FAMILY situation. Sure, their children may 'technically' be step children in some cases, but maybe not even in other cases. But, that is not the same as being part of a step-family... they are not even every other weekend. So, sure everyone has a right to have an opinion, but when I'm in need of advice, the best advice usually comes from someone that has been there...

True, IMA, but going further, they must live in some kind of bubble, not ever being touched by a child, niece, nephew or friends kids with alcohol, drugs, violence problems, like most families in America today...I dont know any family that has perfect robot kids, where life is perfect and trying to solve a problem they have no knowledge of is met with a scathing judging of your character....Only they know the correct way to handle something that has never come up in Perfect World......

Popup,

Don't be discouraged by some of the comments you have received. IMA is right there are a couple of people who haven't walked in your shoes and they recently ran a few people off of this site. They are very captious and prefer to always be contrary. Many people do offer sound advice.

Popup,

I actually LEFT this site a month ago and just started posting her again today. There is alot of BS you will hear here that isn't at all constructive but rather is a outlet for certain members pathetic hang up's. I only returned because the person who torked me off has been lying low, is under an assumed name or no longer posts here. Either way she said something rather horrendous about my step daughters. Imamommy also started a seperate site for the real supportive STEP MOM'S to join. If you go read my "It's been real but later".....post you'll find a link.

Read what was said about my step kids and you'll see the lengths some people will go to in order to get the jab in at the Step Parent. Don't let them run you off from here. I'm back and with a new everyone can kiss my ass attitude:)

I keep hearing different rationale as to why SD17 left or was kicked out. Sad. If you only want ot listen to other SMs as to OK to kick her out, go with it. But if you want to listen to all sides and care about why MIl etc are upset re situation. It incredible, mom wanted DD to live with her, but gave her up, now mom is criticzied for that. At a minimum, dad should be working with his child and mother for a better life for her.

And btw, if he would kick his child out, dont you have fears as to when your children are teens. Teens are not easy.

Frankly, I didn't see anything wrong with TOS's comment on the other post. OP left A LOT of relevant information out of her initial post -- like ALL of the valid reasons why SD should be relocated. Then automatically expects support?

There are two sides to every story, hence TOS's moniker...

You have to protect your own kids and DH was on board. If he decided to kick his out of control near adult daughter out that's his business. Ultimately it was his choice. Don't be guilted into feeling bad about it. The SD will come around once she realizes no one will tolerate her abuse.

She is not in the streets starving to death. Let's just see how long Uncle can handle her.

I do agree with some of what TOS said but as far as the other children being abuse....the 17 year old had to go. She is WAY old enough to know better....almost an adult. She will go to jail for that behavior in a few short months. I would of called the cops on her the first time she put a hand on me or any of the other children....whether they were mine or not. You are right though, there were some valid points made ny TOS in the original post.

It is true that in this instance the post was difficult to follow as the details came more at the end than the beginning.

BUT, it goes deeper than "If you only want to listen to other SMs as to OK to kick her out, go with it." It speaks volumes to the simple fact that certain posters will look for the smallest of details that can be turned into a bash fest having nothing to do with the actual request for advice. When directed at me I almost enjoy it as I have a thick skin and can 'detach' from the forum easily. Plus, I like a good debate. There are others though, nicer and softer than I, who come here innocently looking for help and wind up searching for a razor blade.

I'm all for the devil's advocate, but not for truly acting like the devil.

JNM,

The razor blade comment was a riot :)

I never wanted to slash my wrists over these people but my blood pressure sure shot sky high a couple times. There have also been a few timew where if I could of reached through the screen.........